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WHITECAT19's Photo WHITECAT19 SparkPoints: (116,246)
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3/23/15 9:48 P

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 Posts: 69,921
3/23/15 3:08 P

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Middle age is having the choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

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3/22/15 2:00 P

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What do you call a funny chicken? A comdeihen.


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Edited by: WHITECAT19 at: 3/22/2015 (14:01)
The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 Posts: 69,921
3/22/15 9:38 A

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Timmy: "My uncle can play the piano by ear."

Tommy: "That's nothing. My uncle fiddles with his whiskers."

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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 Posts: 69,921
3/21/15 8:09 A

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For dinner they eat:Bristle sprouts

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3/21/15 12:11 A

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What do hedgehogs eat for breakfast? Prickled eggs.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 Posts: 69,921
3/20/15 6:45 A

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Eclipse: What a gardener does to a hedge.

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I-AM-BUBBLES's Photo I-AM-BUBBLES Posts: 57
3/19/15 10:17 P

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.


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3/19/15 7:10 A

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The only thing worse than hearing the alarm clock in the morning is not hearing it. emoticon

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3/18/15 11:38 P

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These are awesome! I know because I'm laughing out loud emoticon
I'll round up some too.
He who laughs, lasts.

If you are persistent, you'll get it.

If you are consistent, you'll keep it...


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3/18/15 2:13 P

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Sign in an optometrist's office: IF YOU DON'T SEE WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR, YOU'RE IN THE RIGHT PLACE!

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3/17/15 10:15 P

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Hee, hee, hee!

Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? So he wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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3/16/15 6:31 P

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What is the difference between a flea and an elephant? A n elephant can hav efleas, but a flea can't have elephants.

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3/15/15 11:47 P

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Do you iron your 4-leaf clovers? You'll be pressing your luck if you do!

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The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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3/14/15 7:16 P

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Humorous error in newspaper headline: NIGHT SCHOOL TO HEAR PEST TALK

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3/14/15 12:09 A

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Have you heard about the new app to prospect for gold? You should downlode it!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 Posts: 69,921
3/13/15 6:47 P

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Mother (noticing the clothes lying on the floor): "Who didn't hang up his clothes when he went to bed?"

Oliver (in a muffled voice from under the covers): "Adam."
emoticon

Edited by: PICKIE98 at: 3/13/2015 (18:47)
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3/12/15 11:06 P

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Why do the Irish wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Because they aren't as heavy as real rocks.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 Posts: 69,921
3/12/15 3:31 P

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Ambition may be all right, but it sure can get a fellow into a lot of hard work.

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3/11/15 6:36 P

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Sign on the back of a stock truck: Caution! Floor may be covered with political speeches!

(Sorry I've been MIA. Coughing and feeling pretty rough.)

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 Posts: 69,921
3/11/15 5:37 P

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The grasshopper is something of a singer, but the potato bug is the most indefatigable musician. He plays on the tuber

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3/9/15 4:48 P

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Bulldozer:Someone who can sleep through a campaign speech.

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3/7/15 8:39 A

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Some people pay their bills when they are due, some when they are overdue, and some never do.

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3/5/15 6:12 P

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Susie: (reading the newspaper) "Daddy, what kind of robber is a page?"
Daddy: "A what?"
Susie: "It says here that two pages held up a bride's train."
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3/3/15 6:45 P

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Unfortunately for us, not far enough over that Hill.

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3/3/15 3:25 P

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Old senators never die; they just go over the Hill.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 Posts: 69,921
3/2/15 2:51 P

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Tom:"What's your son going to be when he finishes college?"

Tim: "An octogenarian, I think."

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RACHIE810's Photo RACHIE810 Posts: 300
3/2/15 10:46 A

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LOVE these! Thanks for making my morning a little brighter everyone!

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3/1/15 7:37 P

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What do you call a pig in a rickshaw? Pulled pork.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 Posts: 69,921
3/1/15 4:33 P

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Yup!

Criticism wouldn't be so hard to take if it weren't so often right.

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2/28/15 12:23 P

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When the TV repairman got married, the reception was excellent.

(Are there even TV repairmen any more?)

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 Posts: 69,921
2/28/15 10:17 A

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You're over the hill when, instead of walking over and changing the TV channel, you spend 15 minutes looking for the remote.

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2/27/15 11:23 P

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My high school music teacher got fired for making us read band books.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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2/26/15 3:58 P

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Probably from people tickling his ivories...
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2/25/15 7:29 P

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My mate swallowed a key-board. Now he has irritable vowel syndrome.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 Posts: 69,921
2/24/15 2:12 P

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Twins:Womb-mates. emoticon

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2/24/15 2:12 P

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Ewwwwwwww,,,,, yoxi-booly!

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2/23/15 9:50 P

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My cousin stared at his belly button so much, his boss promoted him to navel officer.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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2/22/15 6:30 P

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Nudity: A one-button suit!

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2/22/15 1:58 A

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Inflation, inflation . . . I went to buy a new comforter for the bed, and even down was up!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 Posts: 69,921
2/21/15 7:00 P

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My yard is filled with drifts.. and snow piles and ice,,, and more snow...

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2/21/15 1:53 A

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I hope these nasty old snow storms don't get so bad that they cause a continental drift!

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The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 Posts: 69,921
2/20/15 2:25 P

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A taxpayer is a person who has the government on his payroll.

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2/20/15 11:29 A

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But it's so quiet in the bowling alley that you can hear a pin drop!

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The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 Posts: 69,921
2/19/15 6:34 P

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The one thing harder than sticking to a diet is keeping quiet about it.

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2/17/15 10:06 P

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And the tailor is in stitches over your joke!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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2/17/15 2:46 P

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That joke is "tailor-made'!

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2/16/15 5:19 P

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A P.I. trailed the lawyer after court was out. He had to follow suit.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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2/16/15 3:51 P

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Judge: "Have you ever appeared before this court in any other suit?"

Lawyer: "Why, yes--the navy pinstripe."

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2/15/15 11:51 P

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If your doctor is a quack, you have every right to duck her on the bill.

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The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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