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LFLYNT1069's Photo LFLYNT1069 SparkPoints: (12,772)
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6/1/11 5:36 P

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oh let me ask you your opinions then

What or how do I handle two teenage boys whose mother does nothing but bad mouth me, tell them it should have been me to die instead of my sister, and does everything she can to go against what their father and I try to teach them.

In our home you earn what you get. You dont demand a car just because you are finally 16... especially when youre grades are either not passing or barely passing. Especially when you disrepect your father and pretty much ignore me.
You dont get to play golf and expect to keep your clubs we just spent hundreds on to get you by coming home with a grade of 13 for your reportcard... you dont laugh at your father when he is talking to you about something you did wrong - and just because your mothers brother says it - that doesnt make it right.
I have rules I expect my daughter to follow - and I dont think its right that she has to follow them but they seem to just not care...
They resent me because I take time from their father - even though I try to push the boys day out.... its their fathers choice not to give it to them. But he doesnt - again - because they dont deserve his time. when he says grab your gloves lets go play ball - thats when they say - no I want to watch this movie or whatever... but all they do is complain he never has time for them...
What they really mean to say is - dad I dont want your time - but I dont want anyone else to have it either....

HELP

Proud WIFE of an Awesome Policeman!


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BWHITNEY629 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/16/11 5:17 P

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I use that same method where I work. It's great

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1/26/11 11:07 P

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Hello, I understand your struggles. I hate to tell you this but you are going to be the evil step-mother until she's satisfied that she's no longer able to justify treating you as such. It may be a good idea to step back from discipline for awhile and let her dad handle it. I am a licensed social worker and have had both professional and personal experience with this. Spend more time working on your relationship and less time being the mother figure. I'm not saying be her friend but it is important to really work on getting to know (and like)each other. Let dad be the bad guy for awhile. I know it sounds hard but trust me it will help.

GINGERPAWZ's Photo GINGERPAWZ Posts: 4,767
1/20/11 10:33 P

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I know what you mean. I have had my son in Counseling and he will progress very well, So we take him out thinking he has changed for the better. He hasn't until I ran across a book called Magic 123. The counselor told me about it when I had my son in for an eval. She said that the doctor that wrote the book is a pyschologist and has had kids. The program works. I don't give in to my son anymore. He is 10 soon to be 11. I tell him to do something and he says no then I tell him 1, he doesn't do what I say I tell him 2. The first few times I had to go up to three but not recently. My son knows that if I say three he gets a 20 minute time out and loses all of his electronics for 36 hours. He does have chores but doesn't get any money for them unless he does them to our satifaction. The book says $4 for every age. So 10 years old is 40.00. We dock him to when he wants to get lazy but when he is out of money he don't get anymore. I did have a WOOHOO moment this week though. I lost 4.5 pounds on the scale this week.
I hope everyone has a Wonderful day and look forward to talking to you soon.

Sharon

Sharon CST Clarksville Arkansas

Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

Winners are losers who got up and gave it one more try.

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GINAV5123's Photo GINAV5123 SparkPoints: (0)
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1/19/11 1:35 P

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I could write a small novel on the problems with my 10 year old step daughter but it's her inability to control her anger that's the root of the problem. We have her in counseling and some church youth groups and things have gotten better. However, she still doesn't think she has to listen to me because I'm not her real mother. Luckily her father backs me up on discipline and chores but she still has an argument for me at every turn. I get the back talk, the eye rolls, the talking under her breath of how stupid I am...etc. She is so smart in school and knows exactly how to act there but can't seem to keep it together when it comes to me.

Any advice for a girl who has a big mouth and likes to run it?

I would also like to add that my moods have gotten better since I've started exercising so it helps that I don't fly off the handle all the time when she disrespects me.

Any other advice will surely be welcomed!

Edited by: GINAV5123 at: 1/19/2011 (13:37)
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MSTIGGERFAN's Photo MSTIGGERFAN SparkPoints: (65,035)
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1/11/11 9:12 P

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Boy do I know how you feel but I have a 11 yr old boy and a 10 yr old daugther and I have that problem more with my son than my daughter but have some problems with her sometimes. It's been getting to me these days and well and really think school has something to do with it and how other kids treat them. Hang in there and let's pray it gets better.

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



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TMARTIN1102's Photo TMARTIN1102 Posts: 18
1/11/11 5:32 P

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OK just need to vent...I have gone from being the primary bread winner in our home to a stay at home mom. Now, don't get me wrong, I love being a mom, but some days are just worse than others. My youngest (9) has decided that she does not have an inside voice anymore and does not have to do any of her chores. On top of it all, she has gotten the worst case possible of attitude. It's like she is 9 going on 30. Everything has to be dramatic and if you don't play along, then comes the tantrum. I have tried everything I know to curb this, but it seems like once I address one issue, another pops up. Ok...feel a little bit better now. emoticon

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1/8/11 10:41 A

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I hope all of you are doing well and I hope to get back into the game of losing once again. I have had a hard few months and gained back way more than I needed to due to stress eating. I need all the help to reach my goal and hope we can reach these together this year. Good luck all.

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



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LELKINS71's Photo LELKINS71 Posts: 1,436
1/8/11 8:57 A

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TRIUMPH!!!! Just finished Week 1 of the 28-Day Challenge!

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LELKINS71's Photo LELKINS71 Posts: 1,436
1/7/11 9:42 A

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Hang in There!!! You can do this! I joined a 28 Day Challenge Team and it is really helping. You should check it out.

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GINGERPAWZ's Photo GINGERPAWZ Posts: 4,767
1/3/11 10:37 P

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I've gain 6 lbs over the holiday break. Now trying to get back into the swing of things.

Sharon CST Clarksville Arkansas

Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

Winners are losers who got up and gave it one more try.

Aspire and Inspire Buddy Support Group: Arctic Fox
Biggest Loser Challenge.


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LELKINS71's Photo LELKINS71 Posts: 1,436
1/2/11 7:10 A

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YAY!!! Today is a triumph!!!
Lost 1 pound
1 inch off waist
1.5 inches off hips
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LELKINS71's Photo LELKINS71 Posts: 1,436
12/26/10 9:30 A

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All about struggling today. I have gained 7 pounds, but haven't weighed in for over a month. HELP!!! Time to get back on track.

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WARRIORGIRL9's Photo WARRIORGIRL9 Posts: 1,051
12/7/10 8:40 P

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Sorry, no suggestions. My son did the Ninja thing for years. He's finally moved on, but still likes that rough and tumble kind of play. (He's 11 now) Wrestling is his new thing. It's not really much better because inevitably someone gets hurt.

For the warrior there is a weapon. Take�the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Ephesians 6:17-18 NKJV

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LIZSPRINGSTEEN's Photo LIZSPRINGSTEEN SparkPoints: (311,071)
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12/7/10 2:05 P

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One of the struggles I'm facing with my 7 yr old is that he has learned cussing from bus-mates and also thinks he is a ninja and is hitting and punching and kicking his brother (5). I don't know what to do. Time-outs aren't working. And other ways of discipline aren't working either. He resorts to a 2 yr old's behavior whenever he is reprimanded for his bad actions. Any suggestions?

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WARRIORGIRL9's Photo WARRIORGIRL9 Posts: 1,051
10/16/10 5:39 P

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Had a wonderful day with my children (after I filled my son's tummy that is. He was quite the stinker b4 I fed him) emoticon
We shopped ourselves out. Son needed new shoes, Daughter bought her own new shoes, and I got a shirt and shoes for the gym. My girl finally decided on which "cool" jacket she wanted for a late b-day presant, and my son picked out what he wanted for his b-day tomorrow. We ate out, then grocery shopped. Tonight we have a date to go to a local church for Movie Night. We're watching Marmaduke, should be fun.
Hope you all had a blessed day, too.

For the warrior there is a weapon. Take�the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Ephesians 6:17-18 NKJV

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WARRIORGIRL9's Photo WARRIORGIRL9 Posts: 1,051
10/3/10 5:05 P

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That is awesome! My 10 yr old son started learning the Sax this year in 5th grade. Here band doesn't start until 5th grade.
I got to see my 13 yr. old daughter march in her first parade this year. She plays the clarinette in her band.

For the warrior there is a weapon. Take�the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Ephesians 6:17-18 NKJV

Places you can find me:
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MOGAL64's Photo MOGAL64 SparkPoints: (159,423)
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10/3/10 4:58 P

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My 10 y/o has started playing the violin in 4th grade this year and want's to do Drums in 5th.

I am hoping to go on their field trip next month to Jamestown, VA.

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WARRIORGIRL9's Photo WARRIORGIRL9 Posts: 1,051
10/1/10 10:30 P

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Any suggestions on how to motivate a 10yr old boy to start taking school more seriously...start living up to his potential instead of just getting by in school. emoticon

For the warrior there is a weapon. Take�the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Ephesians 6:17-18 NKJV

Places you can find me:
personal:
https://www.facebook.com/janicerainw
ebster




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WARRIORGIRL9's Photo WARRIORGIRL9 Posts: 1,051
8/10/10 8:02 P

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I'm very proud of my 12 yr. old daughter. My ex-husband gave her $20, but didn't give her little brother any $. That is quite tipicle of him! She said it wasn't fair, and voluntarily gave her brother half of the money. I have great kids. They are unselfish young people who care about others....even when the other person is their brother or sister. emoticon

For the warrior there is a weapon. Take�the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Ephesians 6:17-18 NKJV

Places you can find me:
personal:
https://www.facebook.com/janicerainw
ebster




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ZACKSMOM7 Posts: 1,612
8/8/10 10:00 A

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I wanted to go on a walk yesterday, but cable was here to fix!! But guess what it is not fixed and I wasted a whole day!!!

Keep it up and start everyday as a new day!!!


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ZANDASMOM1's Photo ZANDASMOM1 SparkPoints: (0)
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6/27/10 5:21 P

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That sounds like so much fun!!! Enjoy!! emoticon

Shani
Time Zone EST

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
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FINDINGME81's Photo FINDINGME81 Posts: 91
6/16/10 12:41 P

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Today I get to go watch my 7 year old dance in the school talent show...its very exciting, we watched his 2 older brothers(10 and 12) sing yesterday and I am so proud of all of them.

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NESSAGIRL67's Photo NESSAGIRL67 SparkPoints: (68,612)
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6/10/10 8:27 P

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I'm having a problem with my 11 year old going to bed on time lately. Her older sister is home from college and she does not want to get in bed on time. She is cranky in the morning and I have to get her back on track. Today I received a letter from the school which said she was chosen for the Presidential Award for academics for her 5th grade class. That was a very nice surprise. She will be given this award during the graduation ceremony.

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MSTIGGERFAN's Photo MSTIGGERFAN SparkPoints: (65,035)
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6/1/10 5:25 P

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That's great. I wish they gave those away at our school. One of my kids got an all A's award and the other got a respect award.

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



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JOJOMAGIC1's Photo JOJOMAGIC1 Posts: 575
6/1/10 3:27 P

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Megan got awarded citizenship award. This award is given to one child in the classroom who has shown leadership, compassion, and proven to be a good student over all. She was picked. I was so proud of her. emoticon

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5/26/10 4:30 P

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I have had three field trips in the past week so I am a little bushed. Busy, busy, busy!!

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



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JOJOMAGIC1's Photo JOJOMAGIC1 Posts: 575
5/26/10 11:50 A

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My daughter is so excited that I finally get to go to a field trip with her this year. I try to go to all her events but missing work is nearly impossible. If I don't show up for work then my partner gets stuck with all the patients and that can be overwhelming. But this time Friday is my day off so my son and I can go to the zoo with her. I can't wait . I love seeing her with her school friends. Of course I love to scrap so I'll be taking lots of pictures! emoticon

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JOJOMAGIC1's Photo JOJOMAGIC1 Posts: 575
5/22/10 6:18 P

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I am so happy because my daugher Megan won 2nd place in her Art show. She was selected from all the second graders in her school. She is full of suprises. I didn't even know she had it in her. I am so proud of her!!!! emoticon

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JAQUILLIN's Photo JAQUILLIN SparkPoints: (0)
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5/20/10 3:54 P

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A good day...my son came home with a poem from school that spelled mother.

M agnificent

O nly bad thing about...nothing

T errific peace

H ockey lover

E verlasting love

R eady to have fun

He wrote on the bottom...she is always there when I need her and she's trustworthy. She taught me to be nice so now I'm star of the week at school..

I'm saving this for when he's a teenager!

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MSTIGGERFAN's Photo MSTIGGERFAN SparkPoints: (65,035)
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5/19/10 5:54 P

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emoticon

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



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JOJOMAGIC1's Photo JOJOMAGIC1 Posts: 575
5/19/10 12:32 P

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Last week was just a BAD week for my dieting. I could not make myself follow my diet. I keep eating everything that I shouldn't. But this week I am back on track and I lost 4 lbs. emoticon

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4/30/10 10:41 A

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That is one thing my child realized is that he will never be able to take down his momma. Both of my two older kids just know how far to push and when the better stop. Kids now days really want to push all they can and I think mine is just trying to release all his frustration from school at home where he knows mom will understand but there has to be a stopping point some days. Good luck to all and I hope things get better for you all real soon.

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



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JAQUILLIN's Photo JAQUILLIN SparkPoints: (0)
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4/30/10 9:59 A

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My 8 year old has been talking back too...I have had to be really hard on him and take away his most prized possessions...his roller hockey skates and DS for awhile..I am worried if I let it go on, one of these days he will be bigger than me and I won't be able to control him. Good luck girls!

Edited by: JAQUILLIN at: 4/30/2010 (10:01)
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PAPERFLOWERS78's Photo PAPERFLOWERS78 Posts: 199
4/25/10 10:18 P

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My boy is 9 years old and if he thinks that when I don't understand something he is saying ....that he can just get really loud and cranky. I've told him many times not to do this but he won't listen. I told him that nobody wants to talk to him when he acts like this.....my mother then butts in and says loudly to him and holds him with her hands...by the head.....and says I am tired of this say your sorry. He said he was sorry but started crying really bad and ran off to his room. What your guy's opinion to this situation?

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4/19/10 9:29 P

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I am really struggling with my kids mouths and smarting off. It is really stressing me due to my little one also cutting teeth and being cranky.

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



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BALLOUZOO's Photo BALLOUZOO Posts: 2,063
4/19/10 8:36 P

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I didn't want to leave my mom's side after my dad died when I was 6. I think the key is to make them feel secure by spending time with them and say "I am here and I'm not going anywhere, I will always love you" It helped me.

Best wishes

You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.
-Margaret Thatcher

dlb
MOMMY2KB's Photo MOMMY2KB Posts: 1,125
4/15/10 1:53 P

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After my ex left just over a year ago my girls want me to near them all the time, including bedtime. I gave in a lot but now I want to break this habit. Any thoughts?

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CD4866754 Posts: 398
4/2/10 6:39 A

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My DD 11, will be going to middle school next year.
Last night we went to a meeting about beginning band.
To say the least, I made my first payment on a percussion set. It was between percussion and the flute. But she really had her heart set on percussion. (She already plays piano, she's been taking lessons for 3 years now)

Anyone else have any kids in band? Do you have any pointers? Or anything I might have a heads up on?



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3/23/10 11:16 P

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Sometimes you have to be when something like that happens. I hope it makes him feel tons better.

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



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MOMTOCONNOR2003's Photo MOMTOCONNOR2003 Posts: 5,678
3/23/10 11:55 A

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Thanks for the advice. Last night we had our first pet fish die. We have had him for about a year and a half. I did not even know my son really liked him until he started crying. He did not want to flush him. His little sister was crying and wanted to flush Walle the fish. So now in my moment of weakness I told my son we could go out and buy a bigger fish bowl and a cool pirate ship to go in it. I am a sucker!!!!!

Sandy
Virginia


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3/22/10 5:23 P

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Just keep doing what you have been and be there for him when he just needs to talk about his day. My son is in 4th grade and can read on a 7th grade level. Last year when he was in third they made him read books from 5th grade to 7th grade which was very hard for him. I had to screen what he read to make sure it was appropriate for his age or not. This year since hitting middle school they are more easy going and he can read 4th or 5th grade instead of having to hit the higher end. His big thing is he loves to draw so I try to encourage that with him. I always tell my son he will not have everyone in his class as his friend be he still tries. He has been let down quite a bit but so far all seems to be going well.

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



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MOMTOCONNOR2003's Photo MOMTOCONNOR2003 Posts: 5,678
3/22/10 11:13 A

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I worry for him so much. He is such a great kid. When I was a kid I was not raised by either of my parents I was raised by my grandparents. We did not have alot of money but that was okay. We are a close family. I was an art major (later in life went to school for law) but I did my own thing, had tons for friends from all over and no regrets. My sister the one year older, much skinner prettier sister was constantly trying to fit in and still does today. Always full of regrets and "well that person this and that person that" she is always trying to be the center of attention, but often comes off as overbearing. I don't want my son to become that person. So I worry alot because I want him to feel good about who he is and what he does. He makes comments like "I will never be as smart as Jessie", etc. Jessie is a child in Connor's class that is in the first grade who reads books 4th graders read. My son is advanced and is off the chart in math. Reading he is good at as well but not to the level Jessie is. He is constantly comparing himself to others and not matching up to them. I don't want my child to read at a 4th grade level in the 1st grade. I want him smart, well rounded and happy. So I just sit and worry for him.

Any advice on how to deal with his insecurities of not measuring up?

Sandy
Virginia


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3/18/10 8:27 A

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My son is the same way at school and I have tried for the past couple of years to teach him that and have yet to succeed. I hope once he matures a little more maybe things will change. My daughter who is younger is also like yours. She could really care less if she has people who like her or not and have a lot of friends.

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



 Pounds lost: 12.6 
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MOMTOCONNOR2003's Photo MOMTOCONNOR2003 Posts: 5,678
3/17/10 1:21 P

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My son (my first born) is the sweetest kid. He is very intelligent (gets it from his mom)but is a follower. He gets his feelings hurt easily and wants everyone to like him. He is in the first grade and the other day some kid was picking on him for liking a small breed of dogs. My son loves animals and he often plays with his little sister around the house animal hospital. I worry about him because he wants everyone to like him I don't want him to lose himself in his need to be accepted. I tell him often that he does not have to agree with everyone and like what everyone likes to be himself. My husband says that I should stop telling him that because we don't want him "to be a freak". My daughter is the exact opposite. She has tons of friends, gets along with everyone and does her own thing. Am I doing something wrong with my son by telling him to not cave to what all of the other kids like, do, etc. I want him to fit in and have lots of friends like my daughter. HELP!!!!

Sandy
Virginia


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MSTIGGERFAN's Photo MSTIGGERFAN SparkPoints: (65,035)
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3/14/10 10:10 P

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My oldest is the 10 yr old boy and yes some days I am ready to scream at how he acts. I got an email from his teacher a couple of weeks ago because he has been acting up in class. I made him write her 200 sentences that he will keep his mouth shut in class and write her an apology to take to her. So far now he has been acting alot better. If he doesn't and I get another email I told him it will be 400 sentences and a paddling for misbehaving. I am like you as well and believe they should help around the house as well. I make the fold their clothes and put them up besides cleaning their rooms. I never hurt me any to do these things and it sure won't with them either.
My 9 yr old daughter is the one with ADD and now taking Vyvanse for it. It seems to be really helping her with bringing up her grades and staying more focused but she still can be trying as well. I tell people that is why I had a baby so late in life so I could make it through these trying times with the older ones. I also have a nine month old that is a joy to keep. I really spoil her rotten that's for sure and love spending time with her. I too am really tired by the end of the day and ready for bed.

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



 Pounds lost: 12.6 
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CARRIEDD's Photo CARRIEDD SparkPoints: (0)
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3/14/10 6:52 P

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It seems lately there are days I want to pull my hair out! My teenager is ADHD so I cam constantly battling him with his meds. My 11 year old is at that eye rolling i know it all stage and my girls 6 and 8 are either fighting or tearing up the place! I am a very strict Mom and i make them help with chores and homework but lately it seems that when I go on my walks I one want to go all alone NO KIDS I need that break. By the end of the night and everyone is in bed I am so tired I can't even think strait! Exercise has been helping with the stress but this week I have been sick and haven't worked out as much so I am a little more stressed out! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you "Winnie Th Pooh"


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ANGELCOL6 Posts: 1,194
3/12/10 12:50 P

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My oldest is at the same stage where he knows everything,my 2nd oldest is actually into beign little miss diva attitude, my 7yr old son is the 1 who I have alot to deal with from all his food,indoor/outdoor allergies,asthma and excema. he is also ADD/ADHD,OCD,ODD and we just found out he also has aspergers.so it's dr appts and special foods most of the time and all his meds.My 5 yrold is at No mom I want to do it stage. I have medical issues myself so i to have dr appts. and meds I havto take. My house can be a major circus or war zone on different days you never know what the day has in store for you.

 current weight: 146.0 
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MSTIGGERFAN's Photo MSTIGGERFAN SparkPoints: (65,035)
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3/12/10 8:23 A

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I thought it might be helpful for a chat board for your everyday struggles or even your triumphs that you have with your children or just with the weight loss in general. I know as for me I have been really struggling in the weight loss area since keeping up with the new baby. She is now 9 months and I stay so busy with her and the other two that I am having a hard time just finding the time to fit it all in. My middle child is dyslexic so I really have to stay on top of that and also with her ADD meds as well. My oldest has hit the he knows everything stage so also battling there as well. Luckily for me the little one is getting into waving bye bye and staying dada and mama so that helps with the nerves. How are the rest of you doing?

Cherly
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Philippians 4:13



 Pounds lost: 12.6 
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82.5
110
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