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4/16/14 11:19 P

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This whole new year has been so unusual, and off schedule. I have had families come and visit for a week here and family with in the family actually came and stayed for 3 Months...I keep waiting for my regular routine to return. With a few added items that are hopefully becoming regular and routine for me. Like My Curves work out with Jillian Michaels. But I have come to realize that I may never return to my regular schedule or routine, I probably wouldn't even recognize it any much has changed. Which makes me wonder why do I keep waiting for it to return...for things to get back to normal? what is normal for me? Is that really what I want? NO! NO! NO! it is not...I like eating healthy, I like eating regular meals at regular intervals feeling satisfied and not hungry or stuffed through out the day, I like having energy, and not feeling famished by 3:00PM WHICH MAKES ME EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT TRYING TO BOOST MY ENERGY AND SATISFY THE UNCOMFORTABLE NAWING IN MY STOMACH. I really like my workouts and Curves, and the energy that is slowly returning to me. I like being busy...and having to plan things out. Ahead of time. Life is so much less complicated when I have a plan...a plan for exercise, a plan for cooking and eating...a plan for how I spend my day and time. A plan for who I spend my day and time with. And this brings me to the real point of my blog here. I feel so discouraged when my plan doesn't come together...when life interferes. For example: I really like my workouts and would work out everyday if I could. However my facility is not open on weekends, and I have my Wednesdays already filled up with activities which I love. Leaving me the likelihood of overdoing it on I made a commitment to myself before God ...not to work out on Wednesday...leaving me four days to work out...Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. I usually work out in the afternoon between 2 and 5 pm. If something comes up and I miss a workout, I struggle so much with the desire to make it up on Wednesday...and I have done this a few times. But then I feel guilty for not keeping a commitment to myself not over do it on Wednesdays... If I choose to skip making up my work out them I am down on myself for not making the effort to catch up. I find it so hard to just Tell myself that "It IS OK".... I really struggle with this.... telling myself the same things I tell others when their plans don't work out. "IT IS OK" I often have to reason it out with my self...Reminding my self of my commitment and the reasons and benefits for it... that sometimes life just gets in the way...things happen, changes outside of my control happen (Like Curves closing early one Friday so the trainers can attend training, or for a holiday like Good Friday/Easter or getting stuck at an appointment for longer than expected missing my time window to work out.). Why is it so hard to be as understanding and encouraging with my self as I would be with others? Why am I so hard on myself? Life doesn't come to an end if I miss a work out, or if I splurge on a great tasting meal with good friends or family. I haven't ruined my weight loss forever...probably not even for a day. I can and I do get right back to it...and have seen good results. I know I am not giving up...So again I ask why is it so hard to tell myself "IT IS OK" and really BELIEVE it? Feed back welcome.

Edited by: LOVELYLJS at: 4/16/2014 (23:25)

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