100 More DWL - Day 41 Food and feelings

100 More DWL - Day 41 Food and feelings

• List three of the most common times or situations where you do emotional eating.
• For each one, add details including what might be going on or causing you to eat.
• For each one, write a plan for how you can take care of the real issue instead of reaching for food. Watch for times to use this today.


• List three of the most common times or situations where you do emotional eating.

- after a social outing when I feel I don't compare well to the others at the gathering
- when I feel I am being obsessed and rigid about eating and can afford a slide into delicious decadent food meaning high sugar, fat and calorie
- when I am angry and I just don't care and I indulge in some self-destructiveness to express that I just don't care

• For each one, add details including what might be going on or causing you to eat.

#1 - wanting to be good at everything and not liking feeling less, less intelligent, accomplished, fashion-savy etc
#2 - when I want to be able to be moderate and enjoy the sensual pleasure that the taste of the decadent foods bring, instead of realizing that my best bet to reach my goal weight and fitness would be to not even enter the arena of sometimes indulging, as at this point, moderation is not an outcome once I begin to indulge.
#3 - I am trying to substitute the effort of

" making the choice to build a life you don't need to regularly need to escape from"

and getting satisfaction from that rather than feeling the release of letting myself indulge in feeling and acting full-slide wrath.





• For each one, write a plan for how you can take care of the real issue instead of reaching for food. Watch for times to use this today.


Same response - my first step is to explore my thoughts, while focusing on changing just one thing at a time - my sleep routine - and doing more of the actions of this challenge on the next time around.

100 More DWL - Day 41 Food and feelings

This is VERY SIMILAR TO my last post

• List three of the most common times or situations where you do emotional eating. • For each one, add details including what might be going on or causing you to eat. • For each one, write a plan for how you can take care of the real issue instead of reaching for food. Watch for times to use this today.

1 - Procrastination still is an issue, which I am very good at often encourages me to eat rather than do something! (I still agree with MAWMAW101 Phyllis on this one).
Solution to this it to try to link to item 3 and look at my list and just do them and if I am hungry eat something when the job is finished!
Today I have started my lists and avoided putting off jobs, this is why I am also doing this now :-)

2. My job situation with my MiL still sometimes makes me feel there is 'no escape', despite knowing I am doing the best job possible for us both. e.g. Walking around the rooms behind her as she wants a walk. Solution Try to focus on the positives and forget the 'harder bits' and remember they do not need to include food! Recently she has slept through the night a few times and I appreciate that. I LOVE MY JOB and am really proud to be doing the best I can for her, me and all the family.

3. Slight disorganisation - I still never feel as organised as I want to be, and sneaking a 'treat' can make me 'feel better' or so I think, linked to number 1 too, I think perhaps I NEED TO BE KINDER TO MYSELF AS I AM DOING A GREAT JOB REALLY Plan to create some lists of activities I want to do each day, general and specific, in a book which I can't lose!
I am proud today 11.5.19 I have done all on my list and a few more!

Edited by: DSJB9999 at: 5/11/2019 (08:51)

DAY #41 FOOD AND FEELINGS - ROUND 2

I'm not so sure I would refer to food as "my friend"! It does, however, provide a way to bury my emotions. Plus, as Linda points our, INSTANT RELIEF appeals more than facing emotional needs and we certainly have come to live in a world that demands "instant". I still have the lists of emotions provided by Linda. I even printed them. Then stuck them in the back of my book where they have remained ever since! Time to get them up front where I can ponder them more.

Three Times or Situations Where I Do Emotional Eating:

1. Social Settings - I have a tendency to get bored easily then I start to fidget; I start to notice how uncomfortable the chair is that I am sitting in; I don't know what to do with my hands; the environment is too noisy; I don't feel relaxed; I've run out of things to contribute to the conversation (as if anyone really cares what I think! see what I mean?!); my anxieties rise and the sabotaging thoughts start to enter my head. I can end up feeling trapped.

Solution - I have been more and more diligent about my social activities and have limited them considerably. I realize this is not the best solution. I think what really starts the ball rolling, so to speak, is the noisy environment and uncomfortable chairs. I need to make sure that I can be in an environment where I am physically comfortable.

2. Family Gatherings - I love my grandkids, but mealtime is anything but relaxing when we are together! Then there are the weekly dinners we have with my father. He is not a conversationalist and he eats extremely slow. It is a painful experience for me and my DH.

Solution - I need to continue to work on timing the meal when the grandkids are involved. Do they need a snack to hold them over? Don't make the meal too fussy. At home is better then at a restaurant where we have less control. I also need to let loose of some of my "food rules" about only offering healthy food that they won't eat. As far as eating with my dad goes, I will work on slowing my own eating down more and I can have coffee or tea available to sip on after I'm done eating to help pass the time.

3. Tired - When I am tired I know without a doubt that my resistance will be low. I can be tired because my day has been too busy and over-scheduled or just because it is late at night and I am, well, just plain tired!

Solution - I continue to work on making by schedule less packed with things to do; to make it more balanced; to learn to let go of that "must do" thinking. I have started heading to bed one hour earlier then I used to do. Also, pre-planning meals really helps me not grab just any old food around (which is usually less nutritious).

For today the hours are flying by and I have been working on catching up with emails and Spark lessons. This means that I am going to run out of time for that "To Do" list. I will need to accept my choice and let go of the Pressure Emotions (desperate, irritated, frustrated).

Three situations

- when I'm anticipating an upcoming event. For instance, if I know I have a social event that evening, its as if the whole day is not mine. I know there will probably be food there, so I should be modest in my intake leading up to it, but somehow that gives me a needy feeling and makes me want to eat more than I normally would during the day.

- in the evenings just before bed...and I've tried my best to look at the emotion chart and see what could be going on. It's tough - none of the emotions seem to fit perfectly to explain why I'm satisfied one moment, then heading for the pantry the next. Closest I can come is the "empty" emotions...Bored...deprived....hollow...un
fulfilled.

-after an event that involved some effort and stress, and is over now (like preparing a huge holiday family meal and planning the get together, then doing cleanup)

What can I do about this? I don't know -- just keep trying to be aware of what is causing the desire to eat when I'm not hungry. Maybe even having the emotions chart on the front of the fridge a couple of days to force myself to look at it when I'm foraging.

How do you find such wonderful pictures/graphics - so good!

DAY #41

Day 41 - Food and Feelings


• List three of the most common times or situations where you do emotional eating.
• For each one, add details including what might be going on or causing you to eat.
• For each one, write a plan for how you can take care of the real issue instead of reaching for food. Watch for times to use this today.

Bored and lured to the kitchen
Cause: Uninterested, lazy, feeling down, depressed,
Plan: Pull out that “To Do” list and get busy and tackle it

Evenings and watching tv
Cause: Suggestive food commercials trigger eating
Plan: Turn off commercial tv & Keep 100 calorie snacks in pantry

After emotionally draining family social events
Cause: Emotion overload from all the activity and personalities drain my energy
Plan: Limit the time spent there when I attend these or don’t even go

"....... I was a few weeks in and actually acknowledged the feeling of not being able to use food for my old, usual reasons. It felt so weird to acknowledge that. It was like, "well, I can't eat recreationally tonight, so what am I going to do with my time?" I can't eat, now what?""

So true - it's like giving up alcohol, or cigarettes, or drugs - except that we still have to eat some food to live.

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 4/29/2019 (16:30)

1) Feeling lonely or sad (feeling not good enough, feeling that others don't make efforts to stay in touch, needing more verbal interaction with my family members)
2) task avoidance (chores at work and home, that I just don't want to do, but they "should" be done)
3) boredom (wanting to do something, not knowing what, not having the energy to make the effort)

Strategies for #1 - do a nurturing activity like a face mask, manicure, watch something funny, contact a friend
2) just do the stupid task. . . maybe convince myself to just start it or do it for 15 minutes (like power cleaning for 15 minutes)
3) read, reach out to someone, do a craft

The problem is these things are usually more difficult than finding comfort in food. This is such a hard habit to break. One time, when I was really following my program to the letter, I was a few weeks in and actually acknowledged the feeling of not being able to use food for my old, usual reasons. It felt so weird to acknowledge that. It was like, "well, I can't eat recreationally tonight, so what am I going to do with my time?" I can't eat, now what?

Edited by: JANNISSE1 at: 4/29/2019 (15:49)

Day 41 Feeding feelings?
1. bored 2. TV 3. procrastination or eating avoidance
~ ~ ~ Solutions ~ ~ ~
Identify then express or write about emotions don't eat to eschew
10 min of activity or exercise (usually go longer)
Tips bit.ly/24oiwG3 bit.ly/2OrwOQL bit.ly/2veiiDj wikihow.com/StopProcrastinating

Edited by: AURA18 at: 4/30/2019 (11:01)

• List three of the most common times or situations where you do emotional eating.

1)At work when I'm tired and/or bored.
2)Away from home when being different becomes too difficult!
3)After something good!

• For each one, add details including what might be going on or causing you to eat.

1) Not being able to walk away, feeling trapped, feeling drained, wanting time to pass = wanting to pass the time and go home!

2) Other people are trying to please me. I don't want to be difficult or upset anyone. I want them to like me and not remember me as being a pain! At some level I see my food choices as being a bit tricky for others, and I end up eating things I would prefer not to.

3) I often feel like celebrating an achievement with food! This is, I think a habit. Maybe it's to do with stress levels and cortisol having used up energy. But also perhaps just what I've always done. "When we get home we'll have tea and cake" Food tells me I've been ' good'or something.

• For each one, write a plan for how you can take care of the real issue instead of reaching for food. Watch for times to use this today.

1) I've recently started using fruit infusions in my water bottle, which are a nice treat. They're a bit expensive, but cheaper than buying flavoured water. Also allowing myself to 'take 5' when possible and not feel I have be DOING the whole time. If I am at a really loose end I can clean the house where I work.

2) I think when I go to stay with family I need to plan and take some food with me. Food that will keep my blood sugar balanced - maybe some homemade high protein trail mix, avocados! Focus on only avoiding stuff that really upsets me (sugar, white rice etc) Take plant milk and special hot chocolate powder! I am going to visit family in May so this is on my mind). Friends are less of a problem because they know me and my quirky eating!

3) Celebrating or coming down from a high without cake/food treats? This one is a big one.....I know that things like having a bubble bath don't work because I can still eat before/during/after!
The only new thing I can think of is to create a new habit: come home, make tea, then write about what I've done, ie journalling. I'll give that a try.


Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 4/29/2019 (13:03)

Day #41 Food and feelings
Three areas of using food instead of facing my feelings are:

—calls to certain people, doctor, repairman who didn’t finish a job, some of my relatives, etc make me feel anxious
Solution: just make the call and get it over with

—procrastination is an on-going problem of mine and food is a way to keep putting off what I have planned or need to do
Solution: do the hardest thing first if possible which means at least I’m doing something.

—having an idea or being excited about something and receiving criticism makes me feel intimidated or sometimes angry and hurt
Solution: talk to people I trust about my feelings; go ahead with the plan if I want to; trust myself to know what is best for me!

Day 41 - Food and Feelings

• List three of the most common times or situations where you do emotional eating.
• For each one, add details including what might be going on or causing you to eat.
• For each one, write a plan for how you can take care of the real issue instead of reaching for food. Watch for times to use this today.

1. At work when I'm exhausted or after a difficult class. I'm feeling taken advantage of or angry at my situation or just plain over worked. Frustrated.

Let out a deep sigh. Vent to someone. Go outside and take a short walk. Do a part of the job that brings me joy.

2. After work, when I'm tired and still need to make supper.

Prep meals ahead of time so fast food doesn't seem so appealing. Think about the calories and the nutrition. Remind myself of my goals.

3. Sitting around at night watching boring TV.

Read a book; exercise; come on SP; do a puzzle; or go to bed early.

4. When I'm feeling like everyone else has a more exciting life, more money, more friends, more time with their children, a spouse who can do more things than mine can, etc.

Plan a vacation or extend invitations to make my life as exciting. Find activities that DH and I can do together. Ask him to play games. Journal about the good things in my life.

5. When I want time alone. I stay up later than everyone else and this is when I eat.

Leave the house and find time to yourself at a park or library.
Use a different room to have alone time.
Go to bed early.


These are all good ideas:
portion control
healthy snacks
close the kitchen after one snack
drink water
go for a walk

100 More DWL - Day 41 Food and feelings

Emotional eating or using food as a friend happens to all of us at times. This type of eating serves a purpose, usually appeasing emotional needs or thought patterns. It also fixes things such as low self-esteem or feeling like a failure as well as emotions ranging from anger to despair. Keep learning how to identify and express your emotions rather than shoving them away with food.

Today

• List three of the most common times or situations where you do emotional eating.
• For each one, add details including what might be going on or causing you to eat.
• For each one, write a plan for how you can take care of the real issue instead of reaching for food. Watch for times to use this today.

I haven't done any emotional eating since last November when I developed my laser-like focus on my goal. It is something I had done previously. a great deal. When I was grieving, lonely, depressed, angry, sad or anything I perceived as a negative emotion, I would attempt to postpone the feelings by stuffing them down. I used food to numb the pain. All I did was create a vicious cycle of emotional eating, depression and more eating. Since then I have learned to journal, or blog or talk through the feelings.

I don't do it now, but should the situation arise again, I will do self-soothing with music, lotion, writing or some activity I enjoy doing that gives me pleasure.

Today

• List three of the most common times or situations where you do emotional eating.
when feeling depressed
when feeling bored
when feeling worried
• For each one, add details including what might be going on or causing you to eat.
to console myself ... food is always there for me
to have something to do when I don't feel like doing any thing else
to have something to take my mind off my worries
• For each one, write a plan for how you can take care of the real issue instead of reaching for food. Watch for times to use this today.
write out my feelings instead of eating them... music helps too.
find something else to do that does not include food if I'm not hungry
music or reading or a movie can help take my mind off worries, as well as writing about my worries in a journal.

Day #41 Food & Feelings


Emotional eating or using food as a friend happens to all of us at times. This type of eating serves a purpose, usually appeasing emotional needs or thought patterns. It also fixes things such as low self-esteem or feeling like a failure as well as emotions ranging from anger to despair. Keep learning how to identify and express your emotions rather than shoving them away with food.

I read the day's lesson and have a general idea of my answers to the assignment questions, but then when I turn on my computer and read all of your answers I see there are many other possibilities! Thank you everyone for sharing.

• List three of the most common times or situations where you do emotional eating.

1. Bored #1 - sitting around at night watching boring TV. This is especially difficult when DH pulls out the snacks ever night at 10 p.m.

SOLUTION - Get up and do something else such as read a book or go to bed early.

2. Bored #2 - life is too full of tasks and not enough fun. I just realized this one recently.

SOLUTION - Make sure you periodically schedule a fun and/or nurturing activity.

3. Bored #3 - social settings with superficial chit chat instead of meaningful conversation. I don't like large group events for this very reason. I can usually say Hello and How Are You to everyone in 15-30 minutes and then there seems to be nothing left to talk about. After all, who wants to be serious at a party?! So I turn to food.

SOLUTION - Do not attend events like this or set a time limit on how long you want
to stay and tell DH about it. Also, I have to stop worrying that leaving
early will offend the host/hostess ( you know how that goes - "Oh, are
you leaving so soon?" ). I need to take care of myself!

This is one I got from reading the responses here -

4. Feeling Trapped - There have been times and there still are some times when I find myself in a situation in which I feel trapped with a person. Something was said or done that upset me, but I have no where I can go to get away from this person or any way to end the situation. For example, at lunch not long ago a friend related something she had done which I felt was wrong on several levels, but she refused to see it any part of what she did as being wrong. I fumed during the entire lunch and soothed myself with food. I was trapped! It isn't as if I could get up in the middle of lunch and say "Well, I have to go now. Thanks for meeting me for half a lunch!".

SOLUTION - This one is hard. I haven't been able to come up with a solution. The
things this friend says and does frequently pushes my emotional
buttons. DH has suggested I start to limit the time I spend with
her which saddens me, but might be necessary.

5. Not Feeling Listened To - This can be related to the example above, but there are other times in my life when I try to express my feelings, thoughts, ideas and have them totally disregarded or not even acknowledged that I was heard and understood.

SOLUTION - When I don't feel like I'm being heard I need to learn to speak up and
say so!

Doing these lessons with all of you has really helped me recognize some of the emotional trappings in my life. Just being able to identify them and tell myself "Oh, Oh. Watch Out!" has been a big help and step in the right direction for me.

When one of those trigger moods hits, I don't always recognize the drive to eat at first.

Stress, whether it's over work or over relationships, easier to bury the feeling (temporarily) with food than face the situation squarely and deal with it.

Loneliness, not as much anymore but during those first months of widowhood food did indeed become my friend.

Anger, usually looking for something to crunch at that point.


For any of these, remember to HALT and ask am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired? Food can truly only help the first one.

Edited by: AURA18 at: 4/29/2019 (15:02)

Day 41 Food and feelings

• List three of the most common times or situations where you do emotional eating.
• For each one, add details including what might be going on or causing you to eat.
• For each one, write a plan for how you can take care of the real issue instead of reaching for food. Watch for times to use this today.

1 - Procrastination which I am very good at often encourages me to eat rather than do something! (I agree with MAWMAW101 Phyllis on this one).

Solution to this it to try to link to item 3 and look at my list and just do them and if I am hungry eat something when the job is finished!

Today I have started my lists and avoided putting off jobs, this is why I am also doing this now :-)

2. My job situation with my MiL sometimes makes me feel there is 'no escape', despite knowing I am doing the best job possible for us both. e.g. Walking around the rooms behind her as she wants a walk. Solution Try to focus on the positives and forget the 'harder bits' and remember they do not need to include food!
Today have started creating a list of things to actually do with her so we walked around the garden looking at the plants and talking about the colours before it started to rain.

3. Slight disorganisation - never feel as organised as I want to be, and sneaking a 'treat' can make me 'feel better' or so I think, linked to number 1 too, Plan to create some lists of activities I want to do each day, general and specific, in a book which I can't lose!
Today I have started the list with some ideas from my spark friend Christine and have also written a list of things to achieve today and tomorrow!
I deliberately avoided the chocolate box 2 times today and only took 1 Rich Tea biscuit from the biscuit tin and not the more synful biscuits! I am very pleased with this

Day 41 Food and feelings July 28, 2018
Emotional eating or using food as a friend happens to all of us at times. This type of eating serves a purpose, usually appeasing emotional needs or thought patterns. It also fixes things such as low self-esteem or feeling like a failure as well as emotions ranging from anger to despair. Keep learning how to identify and express your emotions rather than shoving them away with food.
Today
• List three of the most common times or situations where you do emotional eating.
Work
Living arrangements
• For each one, add details including what might be going on or causing you to eat.
Getting home later than normal as traffic and living farther away from work
Stress of others in house and not able to eat like I was
• For each one, write a plan for how you can take care of the real issue instead of reaching for food. Watch for times to use this today.
Need healthy snacks
Need to do portion control
Need to find a way to get exercise in
Maybe not eating all meals with son and his family
Get back to journaling food
Eat foods that will keep me full longer
Identify my feelings esp. when not a meal-

Day #41 Food and feelings
Three areas of using food instead of facing my feelings are:
some phone calls; lists that I procrastinate over; and being put down or not appreciated.

—calls to certain people, doctor, repairman who didn’t finish a job, some of my relatives, etc make me feel anxious
Solution: just make the call and get it over with

—procrastination is an on-going problem of mine and food is a way to keep putting off what I have planned or need to do
Solution: do the hardest thing first if possible which means at least I’m doing something.

—having an idea or being excited about something and receiving criticism makes me feel intimidated or sometimes angry and hurt
Solution: talk to people I trust about my feelings; go ahead with the plan if I want to; trust myself to know what is best for me!

Day 41 Food and feelings

I recognize today's lesson from Linda's other book - Food is my friend etc. Familiar territory re-visited from a different angle - this is great!

The bit that I highlighted in the book (I like that about e-books!) is where she writes about our 'friend' Food: "But at the same time you're comforting yourself or entertaining yourself with food, you secretly know this friend is ruining your life."

This is where I know I've managed to overcome some of my old emotional eating habits. I DO still acknowledge Food as my friend, but I no longer accept the lies it tells me! I don't let it ruin me.

A bit like a real human friend who might have some toxic aspects, I've learned, pretty much, to manage it so that we can have a harmonious relationship.

Today, for example, because it's Saturday, after work I am going to meet my friend, Chocolate for a tea-break. I am now investing in more money to buy a smaller quantity of a high-quality, locally made, raw chocolate which does not do me harm, but brings me a lot of pleasure.

Today, Linda asks me to:-

• List three of the most common times or situations where you do emotional eating.
• For each one, add details including what might be going on or causing you to eat.
• For each one, write a plan for how you can take care of the real issue instead of reaching for food. Watch for times to use this today.

(1) after work, when I'm tired and have a build-up of frustrated feelings - I'm seeking relief. Sometimes I come home, change into my comfy clothes, make a cup of tea, log onto Spark. Sometimes I come home, change into exercise clothes and do some exercises (usually with a cup of tea!) It depends what time of day it is.

(2) travelling, I feel bored, lonely, uncomfortable away from my familiar surroundings.
I pack up food to eat, take plenty of water, allow myself to buy a coffee, take a book and some music to listen to. Plan opportunities to walk.

(3) When I feel a bit down and wanting to isolate myself.
Sometimes I need to have a pyjama day. Or go to the library and choose a pile of books (for a feeling of being gifted something), and snuggle up for a day of reading and resting.
Sometimes I need to make the effort to go out and be sociable - but I don't force it. Getting outdoors for a walk is always helpful.

The common factor in these three examples is going for a walk = moving + getting outdoors.




Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 7/28/2018 (13:15)

Day 41 Food and feelings

Emotional eating or using food as a friend happens to all of us at times. This type of eating serves a purpose, usually appeasing emotional needs or thought patterns. It also fixes things such as low self-esteem or feeling like a failure as well as emotions ranging from anger to despair. Keep learning how to identify and express your emotions rather than shoving them away with food.

Today

• List three of the most common times or situations where you do emotional eating.
• For each one, add details including what might be going on or causing you to eat.
• For each one, write a plan for how you can take care of the real issue instead of reaching for food. Watch for times to use this today.

Link to Day 40
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
team_messa
geboard_thread.asp?board=200
58x211
94x69016766

Link to Day 42

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/
team_messa
geboard_thread.asp?board=200
58x211
94x69020960

Edited by: FOCUSONME57 at: 5/12/2018 (12:39)