Group photo
Author:
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/24/20 9:11 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 84 - Expectation square

The timing of this is perfect.

I will need to take this to my paper journal, though.
Hopefully when I do this book again I will have managed to adjust my expectations and responses to disappointment.


~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/23/20 6:47 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 83 - No more deprivation

“What does my weight deprive me of?” Good question. Thank you, Linda.

Poor Me
Because of my food allergies, dietary choices and Covid we have not eaten in a restaurant or take out since sometime in January. I get tired of cooking. Most of the time it is fine but every once in awhile I get tempted even though, for me, the risk outweighs the reward.

What does my weight deprive me of?
Lots of things. Hikes I would love to do, clothes I would love to wear and self confidence.

I am not sure I can go back to eating the way we used to. There are some things I will never be able to eat again. Gluten, for one.






~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/22/20 8:12 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 82 Last straw eating

One thing?
I have two.
Deep breathing (grounding) and my journal.
These are keeping me semi-sane while my world continues to get crazier.


~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/21/20 7:00 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 81 - Unhook the chains

Chain of events. I would rather not post this here. I will say that this weekend I managed to keep the damage to my food plan to a minimum even with a chain of events that felt very bad... intense. But I managed to stay close to my food plan. Now if I could stop soothing with food, that would be helpful but for now I will take it as progress.

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/18/20 6:56 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 80 - Get a new title

I don't usually call myself names.
My self beating is usually around not being "enough".
Smart enough, thin enough, young enough...
I am working on just being me is enough.
Being kind to myself is tough.
I am worthy, I am deserving, I am whole.

Wandered off... back to the exercise.
A new name for me?
I am a strong, healthy woman. (old lady, dame, elder, crone... all fit but have a negative connotation.) (Nana) (Gran)
Not sure how to do this.

Daily life.
As a strong, healthy woman, I make time for self care. I exercise daily and choose healthy, nutritious food. I find healthy ways of dealing with my emotions. I have reconnected to my creative energy.


Wow... Day 80! emoticon

Edited by: ITS_MY_TURN_NOW at: 9/18/2020 (06:56)
~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/17/20 7:57 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Gill,
Have a wonderful time!!! emoticon
May your Chalet get away be everything you need and want it to be.
Hugs,
Julee



~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/17/20 7:50 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 79 - Live as a "healthy" person

I love this exercise!

Mainly because it feels like where I am in this journey. I need to shift my focus from losing weight to wellness, as a whole. A healthy person. A whole person. Nutrition, exercise, addressing health issues, dealing with my emotions without eating, connection to my family and the community, learning, growing and creativity. All of me. I have trouble losing weight. My body does not let go easily. Neither does the rest of me. There are many facets to me, I have lived for 60 years and have accumulated 60 years of experiences both good and bad. I am working toward a better version of me. ( I love the gif that another team member posted!) A woman that has lived for 60 years and has made peace with her mistakes and missteps, both real and imagined. This is hard work but I am getting there. I will draw this out in my journal. Thank you, Gill and Linda.

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 21,373
9/17/20 5:26 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Chalet holiday starts on Saturday 19th - my friend is coming to pick me up with all my gear. Then I'll be there until the following Saturday morning. I am SO looking forward to it.

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




 current weight: 117.3 
121
119.25
117.5
115.75
114
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/16/20 6:58 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 78 - Ditch the critic

“No matter what you say or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person.”
Spangle, Linda.

My inner critic is incredibly resilient. I am getting better at catching it before it goes too far but she is still there, making sure I question my worth. Nobody is harder on me than I am. I am very good at beating myself up. So, one step in front of another. I continue to challenge my inner critic but she is tough.

"Progress over perfection." (Can't remember who to credit.)
"I am worthy. I am deserving. I am whole." Deepak Chopra


~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/16/20 6:44 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Gill - LOL I am so grateful for that camper. It is really small by comparison to most campers that we see. It works for us and right now, it is allowing us to escape the craziness and go to quiet places. We have reservations for one more trip to the mountains, the first week of October. Hoping the leaves will still have some color and be on the trees. Looking for some more waterfalls before we hunker down for the rest of fall and winter. Have you taken your beach chalet escape, yet? Was it wonderful? Refreshing? Take care, dear lady. emoticon

Waterfalls. One of the reasons why we keep going back to the ADK. emoticon




Edited by: ITS_MY_TURN_NOW at: 9/16/2020 (07:00)
~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 21,373
9/16/20 4:22 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have camper envy!

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




 current weight: 117.3 
121
119.25
117.5
115.75
114
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/15/20 8:27 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 77 - The healing power of rituals

I love this!
(I have said that here, a lot lately. lol)

I like the meditate before making dinner idea and the tea time with a book.
There are several books I am reading that would be perfect for this. Maybe in the morning? But my morning routine is already quite full. hmm. Maybe quiet time with herbal tea and a book as part of my evening routine.

One of the reasons we bought our camper was so that we could bring a little bit of home with us and have our own kitchen when we travel. Of course now, with the pandemic, I am also grateful for the small bathroom!

Edited by: ITS_MY_TURN_NOW at: 9/15/2020 (08:27)
~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/14/20 6:48 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 76 - Emotional safety

Ahh spaces.

I have a home office. A room to myself. I am grateful for this space but it is a mess. emoticon
That probably says more about my internal state than I want to admit.
It is full of things that matter to me. Books, photos, art and craft supplies, more books, etc. Today I will clear a bit to create an "ahh space". I have a futon that needs a pillow and a throw. I have been wanting to move some plants in, not sure what I have been waiting for. Time to get to it. emoticon


~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/11/20 7:22 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 75 - Small wins

I can do this!

Wins for yesterday
Drank 4 pint glasses of water
Ate mostly plants
Restarted my meditation class
Did my stretches and gentle yoga
Caught up with 100 DWL


~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/10/20 8:26 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 74 - Watch for rainbows

I love this!!!!

In addition to the other stuff, I am working on a gratitude journal.
Noticing the good things that happen. My baby granddaughter's smile, she fills my heart with joy, sunny days, the leaves are just starting to change, the joy I get from opening a new book and coffee... there is nothing like the first sip of the day.

Especially now, with all that is going on in the world, finding things that make us smile is more important than ever.

I am caught up! emoticon

Edited by: ITS_MY_TURN_NOW at: 9/10/2020 (08:27)
~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/10/20 8:15 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 73 - All-or-nothing

"Embrace the gray."

Hmmm.

I am learning to "embrace the gray" with regard to my behavior but right now, I need the structure of some absolutes. I gave up trying to be perfect years ago but I still struggle if I have to decide everything in the moment. Like I said... it is easier to live with NO SNACKING.

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/10/20 8:10 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 72 - Sneak eating

I used to do this a lot. It didn't count if no one saw me.

I am not snacking right now. I am working with meal timing. I find it easier to stick with absolutes like "no snacking" instead of sometimes I can have a snack or only when I meet certain criteria. Just easier with NO SNACKING. LOL

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/10/20 8:04 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 71 - It's too hard!

"I can do hard things!"

I am very good at making detailed plans that are very hard to live by. I am currently trying to loosen my food and movement rules to make it easy for me to live in a way that is healthy on many levels, including my emotional and physical wellness. For instance, 30 minutes of movement a day without absolutes as to what constitutes movement. I have been dealing with a pinched nerve in my neck for the last few months. When I couldn't even participate in a zoom Qigong class without pain, I got discouraged and gave up. Well, I am back to 30 minutes of movement with one rule. I have to respect my body and pain when choosing movement or exercise for the day.


~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/10/20 7:53 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 70 - No good or bad

"...allowed or not allowed..."

I am really good at beating myself up for mistakes, both real and imagined. I am working on changing those patterns. Judging myself far more harshly than I would judge anyone else. Still have work to do .

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/10/20 7:49 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 69 - No cheating allowed

"...choose or choice..."

I choose to have a treat. (Thank you, Gill.)

I am playing with the NO S way of eating. I do allow myself to have "treats" on S days. I am choosing to not eat bread, chips or sweets that rest of the time. It seems to be working, we will see how it plays out in the long run. I never understood the "cheat day" thing. That way of eating would have sent me into an avalanche of eating choices that would make me miserable emotionally. Which brings me back to the "cheating" on my food plan makes me feel bad and cycles with emotional eating. ugh. Reframing is a struggle sometimes but I am working on it.





~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/8/20 7:17 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 68 - I had a "pause"

"Spend a few minutes thinking about what got in the way of your original eating plan. Then when you've learned from that event, mentally erase the board and get on with your life."

"It's the erasing or discarding that's important."

Thank you Linda and Gill.

A pause.

The hiking example was really good for me. I have strength and stamina issues. Hashimoto's messes with both but I have not been exercising much in the last couple of months because of the pain from a pinched nerve in my neck. I gave up. sigh. When we go hiking and I get winded my immediate thoughts are "I am too old" , "I am too heavy", "I will never be strong enough, light enough..". If I say it out loud, because I am apologizing for slowing him down, he is good at telling me to stop and pointing out the things I am doing to fix it. But my internal dialog is not kind to me. SO I keep working on it. I have started exercising again while respecting my body and neck issues. There is no reason I can't hit my step goal or do some yoga or lower body and core strength training. So I am back to it.

Hiking is my head clearing, happy place. I need it to manage stress. emoticon

I wandered off track. emoticon

Figuring out the "why" of what I am doing to myself is a focus for me, right now. I am trying to rewrite old stories that have kept me from changing the things I need to change. The biggest is my aversion to exercise. I will look for any reason to stop or not start and I use the slip as a reason to quit. I can use the white board idea for this as well.



~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/8/20 6:55 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 67 - Never say "I blew it!"

"Isn't that interesting. I wonder what that was all about" I love this!

I am really good at beating my self up. I have done this. I already blew the day, the moment ... whatever and I just keep going. sigh. The car example is a great one. I think it will stick in my head. LOL Hope so. Learning to be kind to myself is an ongoing process. emoticon

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/8/20 6:48 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 66 - Don't even start!

I like the idea but I tend to rebel. So if I get parental and bossy with myself, sometimes that backfires.

"What do I need to run from?"
The idea that I can have just one. Most sweets are manageable for me. Except for cookies. Chocolate chip cookies being the worst or best example of something sweet that I would eat more than one of. Now chips... are my downfall. DH and I have agreed to a weekend bag of chips. NOT the huge party size bag but a regular bag which is still multiple servings.

My biggest problem is emotional eating and controlling my response to stress eating. Medicating with food. Being gluten free gives me a reason or excuse, in most social situations, to pass on being pressured into "just one" by other people.

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
9/8/20 6:32 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have some catching up to do after our latest camping trip.
It was fun and relaxing. I am happy to be home but we are already planning our next trip to the mountains! emoticon

Day 65 - Stimulus narrowing

Love both of these, Gill! " I choose to resist! " and "Stop whining."

I am guilty of cleaning up my kid's plates occasionally but my youngest turned 26, not too long ago, so it has been a long time. But I can turn down a treat, or even if someone suggests a food, and it will "haunt" me. Sometimes for days. When it last that long, I tend to give in. Whining. Need to work with that.


~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/27/20 6:43 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 64 - Instant tools for triggers.

I love Gill's, "I choose to resist." I am all about re-framing old stories. That is the focus of my journey, at the moment. Weeding out the stories that are keeping me from changing the behaviors that are self sabotaging.

In the past I have brushed my teeth, at the end of a meal. It is a very good idea. I could also swish water, if I can't get to my toothbrush. Maybe a breath mint? Going to bed would work in the evening.

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/26/20 12:24 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 63 - Buffers

I am actually already working this one. LOL
CHIPS...CHIPS...CHIPS
They cannot live in my house. I will eat them so my husband and I compromised. One small bag of chips (potato, bean, corn) can be eaten once a week on Saturday. LOL

Not having any chips, ever, was actually anxiety producing for me so this is what I settled on.
From there, I have decided to do a variation on carb cycling. So far I have lost almost 2 pounds and it has only been a week. I am hopeful.


~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/25/20 7:41 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 62 - Non-food triggers

Emotions. Emotions. Emotions.

I am working on not eating my emotions but for the sake of completing this exercise...
I (used to) eat when I felt "out of control". I am getting practice in learning to manage and prevent the "out of control" situation. Right now, I check in and ground at least 3 times a day. More if I need to. I have a timer on my phone set to go off every four hours. Practice. Hoping that it will become automatic.

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/24/20 8:22 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 61 - Food triggers

Probably the smell of foods. Some foods. Some cooking smells. Bacon cooking. Pizza ( I don't even like pizza.) The weird part is after I eat the meal, some smells no longer smell good and actually smell bad to me. Bacon, fish and anything that has ketchup left on it, like a plate used during a meal.

TV commercials, in this country, are ridiculous and the reason I don't watch much cable TV anymore. Fast food commercials are endless. But the visual is sometimes enticing so I avoid them. It helps that I cannot eat gluten. It helps a lot. The joint pain, I would suffer from eating gluten, is NOT worth any momentary enjoyment I would get from eating it. Now if I could just apply that thought process to everything else.

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/21/20 2:52 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 60 - Create a stop sign

I have tried signs, many times. They don't work for me. I stop seeing them after awhile.
I am working on pausing... checking in with myself and breathing exercises. Dealing with my emotions instead of eating them. I can't believe I made it to day 60!!! I can do this. emoticon

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/20/20 9:54 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 59 - Heart hunger "insteads"

Hugs
Hot shower
Working with my plants (indoors and out)
Candles
Reading
Flowers
Music
Dance

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/19/20 8:25 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 58 - Heart Hunger

"Anytime you want to eat but don’t know what you want, think heart hunger."

"Heart hunger usually stems from empty emotions, such as feeling depressed, discouraged, or lonely. It can also show up when you’re bored or restless, as well as times when you feel hurt, disappointed, or let down. Sometimes heart hunger will relate to yearning for things such as attention or appreciation.

“What’s making me feel empty right now? What am I missing or needing in my life?”
“Will eating change this?”

Spangle, Linda. 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful on Any Diet Plan (p. 127). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

I don't usually copy so much directly from the book into my journal. Today's entry is personal. Medicating my feelings with food is an ongoing struggle for me. I am learning to manage without eating but it is hard. Eliminating snacking is helping me to recognize my behavior in real time so that has been helpful. One step at a time. I can do this.



Edited by: ITS_MY_TURN_NOW at: 8/19/2020 (08:25)
~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/18/20 10:57 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 57 - Head hunger "insteads"

Thank you for sharing this, Gill...
"Journal your feelings. Write the words, “I want to chew on the following…,” then list as many things as you can think of."

and this...

"One of the most effective things, I think, is probably being about to 'sit with the feeling' and not respond to the discomfort by eating. This was what CAT125 posted on our Day 57 thread back in 2015

"I don't have any insteads. I just wait it out."

I really do think this is the ultimate goal for emotional eaters - being able to stay with the feelings and not stuff our mouths with something to make the feeling go away." emoticon

"Insteads" haven't worked for me. I am learning to sit with or be with my feelings instead of eating them. I love the journal idea. Writing what I need to chew on instead of medicating with food. Going to try this today.

Edited by: ITS_MY_TURN_NOW at: 8/18/2020 (10:58)
~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/17/20 7:05 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 56 - Head hunger

"What do I want to chew on?"
"Will eating change this issue?"
"Eating simply postpones what really need to do in order to cope with life issues."

Chips. Chips Chips.
Crunchy and salty.

Frustration. anger. overwhelm.

Need a new coping mechanism. Learning to "pause", which is tougher than it sounds. emoticon

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/14/20 7:08 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 55 - Food is the consolation prize

Food as comfort, as something to soothe whatever is the emotion/situation of the day. That is my struggle. Finding alternatives has been unsuccessful. So I am not working with a counselor to try and untangle the stories I tell myself. Hopefully I will be able to rewrite a few. For now, I avoid snacking which is sort of a blanket fix. If I can't snack, I can't eat for emotional reasons, unless it is a meal.

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/13/20 11:35 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 54 - Eating to feel better

1. Move your body.
2. Get some rest.
3. Distract yourself.

Instant energy plan
Drink water.
Go for a walk.
Dance
Take a nap.


~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/12/20 7:59 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 53 - Food is my best friend

Food becomes my friend when I am tired, overwhelmed, or lonely.
The middle of the afternoon is usually when it all gangs up on me and I reach for chips or something salty and crunchy. sigh. Flagging energy, at that time a day, makes it harder to resist.

I could start dinner earlier but I am already trying to be done eating by 6:30.
Not snacking and no food after 6:30 is the way I am trying to live.
The additional stress of this pandemic is too much sometimes. I am working on it.
Trying to live with the reality of our lives is a bit much sometimes. Anyway, managing without food would be drinking water, dancing or movement of some kind, calling a friend or family member.

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/11/20 10:59 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 52 - Food is an instant fix

I don't use it to avoid...I don't think.
I use food to soothe and comfort. So if I am upset or nervous or processing other people's emotions, I reach for food. Tired, while making dinner or before dinner if I wait too long.

(I tend to absorb other people's strong emotions. I am getting better at asking myself if this is mine but I don't always catch it.)

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/11/20 10:52 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 51 - What is emotional eating?

"Emotional eating: Anytime you reach for food when you aren’t physically hungry or needing nutrition"

(Spangle, Linda. 100 Days of Weight Loss: The Secret to Being Successful on Any Diet Plan (p. 112). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.)

Why am I eating?
Is this hunger or a desire to eat? - What is going on here? What is making me want to eat right now? How can take care of my needs without medicating with food?




~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/11/20 10:46 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 50 - 10-minute solution

Something is better than nothing.

10 minutes 3 times a day or even just 10 minutes is better than nothing!


YAY!!! 50 days emoticon

Edited by: ITS_MY_TURN_NOW at: 8/11/2020 (10:47)
~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/6/20 7:33 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 49 - Just do something

"Just do something; then you're started."

3 days.

Celebrate doing something.

Just do something ideas.
am yoga
take a walk
squats
25/25/25
pick a pile of stuff and sort/toss/put away
use the pomodoro timer on your phone and something on your list.
prep some veggies
draw something
sew something
meditate

We are going camping. YAY! Be back on Tuesday. emoticon

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/5/20 8:15 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 48 - You gotta want to.................
hmm...
I don't want to...
The whys here are not clear to me, other than I may be hiding behind the weight. But that is a conversation that I will have with my counselor. Thank you, Gill.

I can't lose 50 pounds.
I can't hike as far as I want to.
I can't maintain a 10000 step, daily average.




~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 21,373
8/4/20 11:24 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




 current weight: 117.3 
121
119.25
117.5
115.75
114
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/4/20 9:34 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 47- Kick the can't

Ok, let's see...
I can't lose 50 pounds.
I can't hike as far as I want to.
I can't maintain a 10000 step, daily average.

*I can't lose 50 pounds.
(sleep apnea and Hashimoto's complicate this)
Maybe I could ignore the stories in my head that tell me it is too hard because of SA and Hashi's. Or rewrite the stories in my head. Yes, I have Hashi's and SA, my metabolism is affected by this but maybe if I can continue to move more and increase my exercise, I can lose the weight given the food changes I have made and a tighter control on carb intake. Losing the weight would improve my SA.

*I can't hike as far as I want to.
Maybe I could if I "trained" for it. I own an elliptical. I can increase my steps and work on balance. I am fighting my own stamina issues but maybe I can help that with some supplements and regular sleep.

*I can't maintain a 10000 step, daily average.
Maybe I can if I work up to it and make it a priority. Hitting my daily step goal has been hit or miss lately. Well, for a really long time. emoticon I am already working on this one. My goal for August is to hit my step goal every single day!

emoticon I like today's assignment. Need help re-framing my "stories". Been working on that for awhile now. Old stories die hard. LOL I can do this!!! emoticon

Edited by: ITS_MY_TURN_NOW at: 8/4/2020 (09:40)
~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/3/20 12:04 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 46 - If not food, then what?
These are not in order of importance because I am not sure how to rank them. I know I need time with me. Time to explore my spirituality and creativity. Inner work, growing and creating things.

My family is number one and always will be. I am too far from my "kids" and my husband and I are together a lot (he is working from home these days) so it is time to take care of me.

Important to me
family - husband, children, daughters in law, grandchildren
extended family
creating
learning
studying herbalism
wellness
spirituality
hiking
camping
gardening
food

Edited by: ITS_MY_TURN_NOW at: 8/3/2020 (12:05)
~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
8/3/20 11:42 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Gill - Thank you. You are a dear. emoticon My granddaughter arrived safe and sound on Thursday morning. She was 22.5 inches long (the nurses measured her 4 times to be sure. lol) and 9 lbs 4 oz when she was born. She is thriving. They are home and settling in. My daughter is the toughest of my children (3 boys and Kate) and the strongest human I know. I am so very proud of her. She is also 5 feet tall and carried her very big baby for 14 days past her due date. emoticon She is amazing, my daughter. My granddaughter is beautiful and sweet. I miss them both very much. I hate this pandemic and the suffering is it causing, on so many levels, for so many people around the world. I feel a bit selfish because my missing them is not on the scale of other's suffering. So I should probably stop whining. I will have to just get on with taking care of myself and DH until I can see them in person. Take good care of you, dear lady. emoticon


PS. Making peace with food and my relationship to it is why I am doing this journal. My inner child wants to throw up her hands and go find something else to do. LOL But I am going to keep working on this. I can't stop eating so I just need to find a way to make peace with the process. Maybe I can find a way to simplify it so it is not so time consuming. sigh emoticon emoticon emoticon

Edited by: ITS_MY_TURN_NOW at: 8/3/2020 (12:06)
~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 21,373
8/2/20 11:13 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thank you for being honest!

" I am really, really tired of it being the center of my life. I have to think about it and I do not want to"

I feel like that this afternoon when I know I have 'meal planning' on my to-do list. And I'm only planning for ME - I still seem to have a lot of shopping, meal prep, clearing up to do! It's never-ending! Well, yes, it IS never-ending.

I didn't realise your daughter had been going through such a hard time - how heart-breaking not to be able to be with her. I'm glad to know that the baby girl arrived OK - I hope your daughter is OK and heals quickly.

Edited by: SWEETENUFGILL at: 8/2/2020 (11:14)
Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp




 current weight: 117.3 
121
119.25
117.5
115.75
114
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
7/31/20 8:46 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 45 Food - important or not?

I wish it wasn't important.
I wish I didn't have to be the person that has to plan and cook the meals in this house.
We don't eat out. We are about 700 miles from our nearest relatives. We are in a pandemic.
SO that means I cook our meals and we don't share meals with other people. I am really, really tired of it being the center of my life. I have to think about it and I do not want to. I would like it to be unimportant. I mean our traditional holiday meals are full of foods that I no longer want to eat. The gluten free birthday cake we had to celebrate my husband's birthday, last week, was tasty but left me bloated and unhappy.

How do I make food unimportant when I have to plan, buy it, wash it, store it, cook it and then eat it? That requires time, thought and energy. I am not feeling well today so that is probably coloring my view of the world.

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
7/30/20 9:53 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 44 - It's not the right time

As I write this, my daughter is 800 miles away being prepped for a C section after 32 hours of labor. My granddaughter will be born today. I am praying and worrying at the moment. Hopefully I will be able to make sense with my head full of other stuff. Here goes...

For me is it not about the "right" time, I sort of live in a perpetual "diet" space. In the last 10 years I have eliminated gluten, soda and most of the sugar from my life. We eat minimal corn, soy and processed food. We eat mostly organic, free range and wild caught. Locally grown whenever possible. I am working on nutrient density in my calories, lots of color and plants. It is easier at this time of the year.

But I am not perfect and I have an issue with emotional eating. Medicating with food. I eat really well and then I don't. A bag of organic chips can set off a whole range of bad choices all of them "legal" by my "food rules" but still too much fat or carbs or calories. Organic red grapes are so good but they set off sugar cravings. sigh. So right now I am back to working on timing. IF except on ST or hiking days. Meal spacing and no food after 6:30 and more movement. Qigong, yoga and steps today.

I want to be a healthy, strong Nana by this time next year. Because of this pandemic, I might have to wait until her first birthday to meet her, so I want to be healthy and strong when I do.


~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
7/29/20 11:10 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 43 - Choose to, not have to

I choose to:
Take care of me by incorporating exercise and nutritious food into my life.
Move more.
Pay attention to what and when I am eating.

I am going to work on re-framing my thinking.

~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
7/28/20 10:50 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 42 - Make it matter

All caught up!

The ways the being overweight bothers me:
I do not feel good about myself. 8
I struggle with my health issues, some of which would be helped by losing the extra weight. 8
I have trouble hiking very far. 10
I don't like the way I look in clothes or out of them for that matter. 8
I hurt. My back, my hips, my neck. 10

They all matter. I get overwhelmed and give up. Autoimmune disease and sleep apnea complicate the process. sigh


~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
ITS_MY_TURN_NOW's Photo ITS_MY_TURN_NOW Posts: 6,764
7/28/20 10:42 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Day 41 - Motivation is a choice

Still playing catch up...

I wish I could find some motivation in a junk drawer!!! LOL

Get up and make it happen.

Motivation is a choice.
I did yoga and attended my zoom Qigong class this morning.
I have established a fairly consistent (30 minutes a day) movement routine over the last 3 months. Camping this weekend made a mess of it and I am stiff and hurting today. Not sure why I keep having to learn this lesson over and over. (I hurt less when I move more.)

Motivation...
I would like to add more ST into my daily movement and hit my step goal more often.
Dividing up the steps and hitting small goals during the day might be helpful.
Setting a reminder on my phone could help, too.
Not waiting for the first day of the week or month... or the beginning of a new round of whatever challenge I am working at Sparkpeople, start now!!!
Posting my goal on a sticky note.


~ Julee ~
ET - Western NY

“We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we've been and choose who we want to be next."
~ Dr. Who. (Jodie Whittaker)


98 Days until:  The end of the year.
100
75
50
25
0
Page: 1 of (2)   1 2 Next Page › Last Page »

Report Innappropriate Post

Other 100 days of Weight Loss by Linda Spangle Journals - you can keep your personal journal here Posts

Topics:
Last Post:
9/19/2020 8:48:10 AM



Thread URL: https://sparkpittsburgh.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=11714x21194x63629135

Review our Community Guidelines