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LOSINGLINNDY's Photo LOSINGLINNDY Posts: 30,538
1/6/14 12:48 A

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I HOPE YOUR HAND IS RECOVERING WELL. THE LAST TWO MONTHS HAVE BEEN DIFFICULT FOR ME, BUT I AM BACK NOW.

I READ ALL YOUR ENTRIES FROM THE 30'S AND 40'S. I CAN TELL YOU PUT A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO YOUR RESPONSES.

Linn
Just do it no matter what!
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CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
11/30/13 7:10 A

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I'm still reading the lessons daily but still don't want to use my hand too much so it can heal better. So not writing about the lessons, yet.



Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 11/30/2013 (07:10)
Christina



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11/21/13 8:54 A

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emoticon and keep up the good work emoticon

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.

Thomas Jefferson



2,273 Days since:  binge free
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CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
11/20/13 1:45 P

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Can't write a lot b.c of the surgery so can't journal... but I AM reading the lessons and still not eating sugar!

Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 11/20/2013 (13:45)
Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
11/10/13 12:49 P

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Day 41

"Motivation is a choice. "

Yes, up to a point I agree. I have a lot of power with regard to what I think and do and I can allow or disallow myself to think negative thoughts - up to a POINT. And I can chose what I focus on and how I talk to myself.

Tricks and ideas:
- sticking notes with slogans on my wall. For example 'free your hips' to help me with my posture (walking upright allows more movement in my hips). Or 'I know this works!" meaning that if I eat no sugar I will get good results.
- Reminding myself of what I want, mentally. Thinking of my longer term goals.
- Thinking about the negative impact that binges for example have on me, on my mood, my relationships, my thoughts and behaviors and emotions and realizing I DO NOT WANT that.
- Something I like to do is fantasize and plan and 'dream' about what steps I'll take towards my goals when I'm in bed, before I fall asleep. I think about what type of foods I'll eat and make mental lists of healthy recipes I could use and about other things I can do to improve my health.

I motivated myself today to pick up strength training by writing out exercises from the 'Fitness plan generator' and using the planner function at SP to remind myself to start doing those exercises in december once I recovered from the surgery on my hand.


Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 11/10/2013 (12:51)
Christina



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11/9/13 4:18 P

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Day 40

* When I was a small child I got very very ill and I hardly ate. I remember feeling better for the first time, in the afternoon, and eating some vegetable soup my mother made.
It felt very good to eat after having been so ill.

* I really enjoy eating alone and taking my time to focus on the food and the taste.

* I loved eating in the Mexican restaurant in The Hague with my husband and also on later occasions.

* I really enjoyed it when we started to eat out in the 'India gate'.

What made the eating in the Mexican restaurant special was that it was a holiday for me and my husband. It was also a holiday that hadn't gone very well, my husband had flu while we were there and spent a lot of time in bed, the little house we rented had a heating problem and smelled of smoke, and the weather was awful and cold. So we were so glad once my husband got better to have this nice experience eating out.
We really enjoyed their vegetarian dish, so many different items on our plate, all things we never make at home. The baked banana. The avocado. The spicy rice and beans. The sour cream.

Don't know how to plan such a meal at home. Or how to reproduce the experience.

Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
11/9/13 4:13 P

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Day 39
Some of the foods I ate today

1/4 of a pizza
spelt bread with cheese
green smoothie
banana
breakfast with yoghurt and nuts and pear and flax seed

The breakfast has chewy elements in it and also there's the softness and cool of the yoghurt. I like how the oats have become soft but not mushy. The sweetness of the defrosted cherries and the pear makes it special. It's nice that not every spoonful is the same. Some of them are sweeter than others and some are more chewy than others. I feel proud when I make such a breakfast because it's tastes great AND I know it's doing my body so (much more) good (than the breakfasts I used to eat).

I may want strong tastes, like 'very sweet' or 'very fatty / salty' when I binge. It's because I have strong feelings and it's like I need strong tastes to match that, or maybe, distract me from the feelings.
And I want 'a lot of it', to feel full so I can be numb and maybe also so the pain of being stuffed takes the place of the emotional pain and turmoil I'm in when / before I binge.
I want things like ice cream and (soft) chocolate, like chocolate cake because it goes down easily and fills me up and I think sweet foods are to me like comfort, in particular to compensate for sadness.

Handling it in other ways... oh my. Taking a walk or washing dishes sometimes helps.
Or writing stuff down and / or taking action on the issue that's wrong.
Sometimes it's a nap I need, to relax or to just be out in nature.
AND I am also finding that simply not eating the trigger foods (SUGAR) helps me to not need them.


Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
11/9/13 4:06 P

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Day 38

Situations and places where I feel that I have power

When I teach a guest lesson
When I teach a massage class
When I work with a client
When I do the household, actually do it
When I'm helping word a situation or dissolve a conflict.

Situations and places in life where I feel that I don't have power

When people turn their back on me
When I try to meet demands (that others or I myself make of me) and I feel I can't do it.
When I want to help someone or myself and I can't.
When someone is in pain or ill and I can't do anything about it.

I don't know what I ccan do to feel powerful without using food. There IS power in not eating over such a situation or such feelings though.
The one thing that comes up is that I can and need to train myself in acceptance and letting go. And maybe be more focused on my own inner self and on what I want and need.
But how to do that in practice?



Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
11/9/13 4:01 P

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Day 37
Foods I love

Ice cream
chocolate (anything with chocolate really)
Cauliflower with mashed potatoes and mock meat balls
Pizza
French fries
my healthy breakfast
cherries
plums
peaches
nuts, brazilian nuts especially.
greek yoghurt
desserts
cheese

I enjoy eating out. I like how it's relaxing to do that. Loving desserts may have something to do with that. And with the fact that I never eat desserts at home. Someone else makes them for me and that's great.
I love foods with cocoa and sugar because they're very addictive to me, I think.
I really like the fatty and salty taste of pizza and cheese though I know it's not good for me. I like to 'conquer' a slice of pizza. I maybe like it also that I can eat it by hand.
I like yoghurt for it's taste and ice cream maybe also because of it's flavors AND because I often eat it with my husband, it's a treat to go to the parlor.
Cauliflower was a food I got to pick on my birthdays as a child when I was allowed to pick what food we'd have for supper. I think I also ate it when I first could eat after having been very ill as a child.
My healthy breakfast is like a work of art, or a medication: so many healthy ingredients that taste so great all together.




Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
11/9/13 3:55 P

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Day 36
Hah! That will be fun trying to catch other people having their eating pause but I don't think I'll bug them with questions! Or try to teach them anything. Most of the people I have in mind would not appreciate that.

I'm not going to set a timer for 20 minutes. I really want to be true to my belief in 'eat when hungry and stop at enough'. I don't want to let my eating be ruled by something other than this, and a certain regularity. Not a clock not counting calories or weighing and measuring, thanks.

Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
11/9/13 3:52 P

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Day 35
I want to try this out more often - making an 'eating pause' - but I need to remember it while I'm having supper. I wonder how I can do that.

In fact I did this in a way today when I wasn't very hungry for supper. I ate one plate and started to take more food and then just stopped. The dish is still on the table, haven't even put it away yet. It holds no attraction to me right now and that is pretty special for me really because I often overeat at supper.

Christina



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11/9/13 3:50 P

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Day 34
I did that a few times at supper this week, I think two times actually.
Stopped when it was comforatable. I liked the feeling afterwards and felt proud about not overating but in the moment it's pretty hard.
When I am full I often feel 'better' even though it's uncomfortable in my stomach... That is strange really. I maybe feel safer. Feeling full to me may mean 'safe'. Having enough food somehow makes me feel safe.
I also overeat because I like the tastes and eat too fast so slowing down and chewing well may help me enjoy the taste of fewer bites.
Part of it is also that if I am hungry or think I'll get hungry (again) soon (after a meal) I fear that. This is because I have often had hypoglecemia (more so in times when I ate a lot of sugar) and I really fear that awful feeling of being dizzy, being unable to concentrate, feeling weak. I don't really have it a lot any more but I guess it's in my 'system'. But I'd better prevent that by taking healthy foods with me (as I usually do these days, an apple, some nuts and water) than by overeating until I'm very full.



Christina



LOSINGLINNDY's Photo LOSINGLINNDY Posts: 30,538
11/6/13 10:50 P

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You are making inroads on this concept. Keep of the good intentions.

Linn
Just do it no matter what!
Mojave Desert, CA
Pacific time zone
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CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
11/2/13 2:53 A

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Day 33

This is a very tough one for me. I have an idea I almost always overeat at meals. To stop at enough is very hard. I think it's a psychological thing. I hang on to eating, to the meal.
It's like only then do I 'have pleasure', 'feel good'.
Which doesn't make sense of course. But still.

Marna Thall has a five point fullness scale which I think may be better.

It's a reward for sure to eat just enough and then feel light and fit afterwards - there were A FEW TIMES (grin) when I tried it.

I don't have the time or the rest to work on this one, but reading the lesson makes me realize that this is maybe one of the biggest issues I need to work on

Two action steps I can take right now:

1. Make 'Stop at enough!' a part of my goal board so I will frequently be reminded of this goal.
2. Pay attention to this goal weekly: send myself reminders per planner. I have an 'other goal' already that asks 'overate' so I can have an idea of how often this happened. I will change this or add another goal that says: 'Stopped at enough?'. That's a better way to record it!

Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 11/2/2013 (03:16)
Christina



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11/2/13 2:41 A

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Day 32
This lesson resembles lesson nr. 11.

My mealtimes, more or less, are:

8.30 am
noon
3 pm or 4 pm
7 pm
and maybe a snack at 10 pm



Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
11/2/13 2:39 A

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Day 31

I feel that I am hungry, most of the time. I don't look at the clcok first but if I suspect I want to eat / am thinking about eating without being truly hungry then I do look at the clock and wait until 3 hours have passed after my last meal - most times.

I don't have stomach growls.

I intend to be more aware of hunger signals and to respond to them sooner so that the occasions when I get very hungry (and I'll overeat) become fewer.

Christina



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11/2/13 2:36 A

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Day 30

I like the idea of postponing eating, be it not to the last minute. I'm going to try to postpone or skip the bread and chips that are served before a meal in restaurants. I may need to eat some fruit or soup at home first then so as not to become too hungry.

If it's cookies or sugary food I'm offered my intention is to not have that at all.

Christina



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10/29/13 4:15 A

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Day 28 and day 29

Day 28
I don't think I often 'eat food because it's there'.
But let me say it: 'I don't eat food just because it's there'.

The only occasion I can think of is when I'm at my parents and they place very enticing stuff on the table.
But I don't ever - well, maybe once every few years? - eat things like potatoe chips. I rarely have soda, maybe once a year? I don't LIKE doughnuts!

So this is not a big problem for me I think. I am used to eating different things than most people do... both because I did Fit for Life a long time and because I'm a vegetarian. So that makes me more critical of what's in front of me.

Day 29
I basically eat candy only or mostly during binges and then there's no counting!
Nuts are in a jar in the kitchen and I take out a handfull (which I've measured and is about 1 oz) per day.
A problem for me can be appetizers and a particular type of chips they offer at a Thai restaurant when we visit that (not often). And bread that's served before a meal in a restaurant
Because I'm hungry, often, at such occasions, I tend to eat that 'because it's there'. (Ah, so I do do that sometimes then!).

So from now on I will try to be even more conscious of that, maybe eat some fruit before we go out to eat, and skip the bread or chips.

I'll eat my next portion of nuts with a spoon! I may even try a fork! LOL


Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/29/2013 (04:16)
Christina



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10/27/13 6:34 A

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Day 27.
Another tough lesson in the sense that I don't know how to do it. When I read the book before I started my 100 days I had not realized that so many of the lessons are for persons who do 'moderation' type eating. Never mind. I still enjoy the book a lot and who knows, I may one day still try to 'eat everything in moderation'. But not now. Eating a sugary dessert would send the cravings sky high.

At home I never eat dessert except on days like Christmas, or New Year's Eve.
I have desserts only when we eat out (maybe once a month or so).

It has happened though that in a restaurant we like, we get a 3 courses in one deal: you can't pick out dessert but have to eat what they offer that day. I make a resolution now to only eat it if it's something I truly like.

So I guess my special occasions are when we eat out (and only if I really like the dessert) and on holidays like Christmas and New Year's Eve.


Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/27/2013 (06:34)
Christina



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10/26/13 5:42 A

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Day 26.

I don't eat my 'favorite' foods (see my list in the previous post) these days. And so far I'm fine with that. I may miss the 'joy' of eating sweet foods and chocolate but the reward for not eating them, namely feeling at ease with myself and safe(r) from binges and emotional roller coasters is bigger.

I do recall one time getting chocolate muffins in the store for a binge and doing my best to, as some authors say, really taste them. I noticed the muffin was dry. I was disappointed but indeed, ate it anyway and then continued to binge. Sadly.

I like the idea of not continueing with a food that's disappointing though. I will try to find time to make a list of all the ideas and tips from this book and hang it on a wall where I frequently see it.

Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/26/2013 (05:43)
Christina



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10/26/13 5:40 A

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Day 25

The idea of having a large bowl of ice cream EVERY NIGHT is unthinkable for me! Are there really people who do that?

I have a hard time with this exercise because all my trigger foods contain sugar and Im not eating that right now - for 100 days, lol.

My favorite foods...
Chocolate cake
Chocolate muffins
Chocolate cookies of AH
Chocolate from Cote D'Or
Chokotoff
Ice cream (preferably with chocolate, I'm getting soooo boring). Like Vienneta.
All kinds of cake, like apple cake
Chocolate chip cookies
'Sea fruits' (chocolates)
Bonbons (chocolate).
Ritter sport (chocolate with hazelnuts)
Coconut cake with chocolate.
Chocolate mousse
Tiramisu.

I think that's enough for now!
What's interesting is that I am about equally fond of each of those foods but I only have them when I binge, mostly AND I only have three or four types. The others I just hardly ever have....I ususally go for chocolate muffins, chocolate cookies, Ritter Sport or Chokotoffs.
Interesting. If I ever try moderation rather than cutting sugar out, I could try to have those 'other foods' in moderation. I like the idea of 'only of Fridays'.

One of my problems is also that I do not have a 'standard' way of eating. I change around my methods and diet so often, so far, that I don't have a 'normal' that I can change.
Be it that now I'm using the dietician's food plan (that we made together) and have been doing this for a longer period of time.

If I were eating sugar I think I would have some of the foods I rarely eat from the list.
Like chocolate cake and /or mousse. A nice dessert.
And have it only once a week or every two weeks or so. Smaller portions? I could have half of what I'd 'normally' (hah) have.

As it is I simply don't want to have 'small portions' of those foods. And I don't trust I could have only a small portion. I don't think that this is 'just me', I think sugar and chocolate are addictive - to me anyway.





Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
10/24/13 9:17 A

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Day 24
A meal that was really satisfying for me.
What comes to mind is having cauliflower with mashed potatoes when I was a child. My mom would let me pick what we'de eat for supper on my birthday and that was my choice.

Usually for me a meal is satisfying if I eat it when HUNGRY. When not hungry I don't feel satisfaction. But maybe that's satiety not satisfaction.

Another food that comes to my mind is my trigger binge food. Chocolate cake. My mouth waters just when I think about it, right away. It gives me a feeling of 'I'm allowed'.
So I guess I'm longing for the feeling of 'being allowed' (to cut myself slack, to not go beyond what I can reasonably do, to stay in my comfort zone, to 'not care', 'to enjoy').
I have tried a few times to truly TASTE the cake and noticed a few times that it was dry and that I didn't like it as much as I think I do...
Still that's what I yearn for and what I pick when I feel lousy / terrible and say 'WTH' and go for trigger foods in the store.

So it's a somewhat elusive / weird concept for me 'satisfying foods'. I tend to think what is meant is just eating with attention and really enjoying the food. When hungry, that could be a carrot, or beans. When not hungry - well, my taste buds would want chocolate cake. But it would probably not REALLY satisfy me. So I still think that 'satisfaction' really is about eating when hungry.... that, OR I don't get it, at all! grin.

A last thought: I always enjoy my breakfast of greek yoghurt with oats and apple and cinnamon and nuts very much. I never seem to stop liking it. And I usually eat it with full attention. So that may be my 'satisfying food'.

Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/24/2013 (09:18)
Christina



LOSINGLINNDY's Photo LOSINGLINNDY Posts: 30,538
10/23/13 11:08 P

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I read your reports tonight and feel motivated by all that you have accomplished. I appreciate your vulnerability and honesty in what you have to say. The topics you are postponing seem most appropriate for you right now as you are focused on eliminating sugar from your diet at this time. Awesome job!

Linn
Just do it no matter what!
Mojave Desert, CA
Pacific time zone
BL Black Panther Fall Team, Leader
BL Leader Team, Co Leader
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WINDY01's Photo WINDY01 Posts: 1,465
10/23/13 9:53 P

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Good job, Christina!

I just read your "Day 4" because I just wrote mine. I like your boundaries. I'm back, and thanks for the support while I was wandering! emoticon

We only fail when we quit trying!


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CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
10/23/13 4:00 P

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Day 23 today.
I have no idea what an Andes mint is... I am trying to come up with an alternative to chocolate because my goal is to avoid sugar. I could try some 'sugar free' chocolate some time. But I'm not going to go out to get it for this assignment. It's too much of a trigger food for me for that. So I'll do this some other time maybe.

Christina



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10/22/13 4:39 A

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I have been doing the assignment for today already in the pasct weeks, not realizing it was a lesson! I wrote about this in my blog yesterday: I CAN be aware of the food, taste, texture and so on also while doing other things. Which is great. I am beginning to enjoy focusing on my food. Not all the time, but a lot more than before.

Christina



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10/21/13 8:16 A

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Day 21.
This is another assignment I will save for another day: preparing for a 'mindful eating meal'. I am eating in our caravan / trailer tonight and I don't have silverware there! (Nor at home, really, lol). But we don't have music there, etc..

I WILL however do my best to focus (even more) on eating mindfully. Chewing my food well, noticing the taste.

Christina



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10/20/13 6:32 A

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Day 20!

I don't really put more food on my plate, I think, than I want. In fact with lunch and sometimes with breakfast too (and I've been wondering if this is good) I get something to eat, then get some more, then when I feel satisfied I stop.
Maybe it'd be better, or interesting to try for a while, to prepare the whole meal at once and then see if I want to eat it all.

I might try this. I'm not sure. I have my hands full right now just doing what I'm doing, not getting the sleep I need. I may try it later. Maybe try it for a whole week. I'll make a list of ideas from this book that I'm not doing now but may try later on.


Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/20/2013 (06:33)
Christina



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10/19/13 12:41 P

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Day 19.

YAY tomorrow is day 20 this means one fifth of the 100 days! Not that I am so looking forward to ending this endeavor - just glad to realize I got this far!

I wrote a lot in my blog today about this lesson. I will do more weighing and measuring. But just to get more of an idea about calories and sizes. Not because I feel that weiging and measuring is an end in itself. Just a means.

I also intend to look at the meal plan offered in 'Shades of Hope' and compare it to my own food plan. Also, just to get informed.

Christina



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10/18/13 3:36 A

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Day 18!

I think that really, lesson 17 en 18 are about portion control, or maybe that's not the right word either: it's about being okay with stopping eating.
(That sounds funny 'stopping eating' - WHY is there no word for that - that I know, anyway?). Maybe it's 'stopping, or quitting, to eat'.

Okay, okay. I will try to leave a tiny bit of food on my plate tonight.

'Het is NIET zonde om voeding te laten liggen'. (Had to say that in Dutch to make it have impact: I said that it's not a waste to leave food.). 'Het is helemaal in orde om voedsel te laten liggen'. 'Ik laat met gemak voedsel liggen'. (It is perfectly all right to leave food on my plate. I can leave food alone with ease'.)

I wrote in my blog already about how my parents and other elderly people went throught the 'Hunger Winter', in 1945-1946 in WWII when the German occupiers cut off the transport of food and fuel to the western part of our country, which resulted in a famine that caused the death of 20.000 people.
I think the Hunger Winter caused my mom to starve, and later to diet for the rest of her life, never again becoming thin.
So this had a lot of impact on me and on my thinking about food.

I also think it's 'unnatural' for us to leave food behind. I was in the woods yesterday and started picking up chestnuts. Now it's a tough job to peel and cook them (though they taste very nice). Marveling about the abundance of fat nuts lying about on the ground. I always pick up more of them than I need - just can't pass the opportunity apparently of free special food.
I think it's in our nature to collect food and keep it and eat it, as we developed in circumstances where food was scarce.

New messages: 'Ik eet precies wat mijn lichaam nodig heeft'. I eat precisely what my body needs.
I make it a habit to eat only what my body wants'. 'Het is mijn gewoonte om zoveel te eten als mijn lichaam wil hebben'. 'Ik eet genoeg - en niet meer'. (I eat no more than enough).


Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
10/17/13 7:20 A

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Day 17

Ways I can prevent having exces foods around:

- Cook less. In particular, potatoes. - I could cook MORE veggies as I could eat them for lunch the next day...
- Buy less. Do even more in the area of meal planning. Maybe go grocery shopping more often. I have to go twice a week anyway, I could buy less in the weekends and get what I still need on the second round. Be it that we only go to the cheapest story in the weekend... hm....
- We stopped wasting bread when we started taking a daily portion of it out of the freezer, so that's good.
- I also intend to put leftovers away sooner, and more often.



Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/17/2013 (07:20)
Christina



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10/16/13 2:15 P

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Day 16.

I wrote about my thoughts regarding having 'just two bites' of a food to 'emotionally soothe yourself' in my blog. I have my doubts about this...!

I cannot think of a food that would make 'feel better' because I don't really believe that food can ever change my emotions. Okay, maybe sugar. But that is not food, it's poison / addictive substance, I tend to believe.

However I am thinking that maybe, in some way, some time when I have NOT committed to not have sugar, I may test her idea of having just two bites without guilt or remorse. I may be able to handle two bites without getting those huge cravings for more.
I could maybe try it now. But I don't want to. I would rather continue to practice eating no sugar. So far I'm fine. I'm not in agony over not eating it, it's not as hard as I thought it would be. Having it and then wanting more, and more, now THAT is hard.

I must say it's an intrigueing lesson because giving food away (to WHOM?) or tossing what is left would be a challenge for me.

So, I'm not actually doing the assignments today... but I think it is interesting just to think about these things.

Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
10/15/13 7:56 A

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Today is day 15, I didn't find the time yesterday to post about day 14, so I'll do that now.

Day 14.
I hear from my dietician too that it's very important to eat enough during the day so you won't have cravings and hunger in the evening. So I'm doing my best. I used to, back in the days when I did Fit for Life, (this was years, really) eat only fruit, all morning until noon.
Now, I have a green smoothie and a breakfast with oats, nuts, fruit and either yoghurt or soy / rice milk. I like it but I sometimes wonder if it's enough.

I don't need to think about options of late afternoon snacks. My standard snack is a green smoothie with nuts and sometimes a slice of bread. It works fine so far.
The snacks L. Spangle mentions would not be enough for me, I think. But then I have to wait until about 7 pm before I can have supper.

Day 15
I LOVE the idea of having just two (or three, come on) bites of a favorite food and will keep it in mind. I won't try it with any of my trigger foods such as chocolate or cake though as my method for those 100 days is to not have sugar.
I may try it next time I have pizza! Or fries.

I hope I will remember today to pay close attention to the first two bites of the food I eat today.



Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/15/2013 (07:56)
Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
10/13/13 11:47 A

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Day 13.

Times of day when I plan to eat:
8.30 am
12 pm - 1 pm
4 pm
6.30 pm
if needed, 9.30-10 pm

I realize that where it goes wrong is the afternoon snack and supper.
I often 'forget to eat' as Linda Spangle says, in the afternoon. I am busy, or I am out of the house, or I try to postpone eating, or I decide to walk the dog first and then get home too hungry. So this is one mealtime / eating moment I need to be more careful with. I will look into setting an alarm for 4 pm.

Supper is often too late because...
- when husband cooks he is slow in starting.
- I don't have energy to cook and postpone it
- I don't know what to make (even though I do plan meals, sort of).
- I don't start in time with the cooking because I am busy or unwilling to start. This happens mostly on the nights when my husband comes home at 6.30 pm. Strange, but when he's home earlier it's easier for me to start preparing the meal.

Sooo.... I've been trying to do batch cooking so on those 'late days' I don't have to cook but can simply heat up a healthy frozen meal.
I could also set an alarm in the morning to go off when I need to start preparing dinner.
I shall make that into an 'other goal' so I will remember to set the timer. Or I'll use the SP planner for that.

Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
10/12/13 10:42 A

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Day 12!

I do not agree fully with Linda's idea of healthy foods - I don't include meats and whole grains on that list.
Apart from that I very much agree that good quality 'fuel' is so important.
I like her distinction between 'fuel' and 'filler'.
I also like her idea to focus on appreciating the taste of 'filler foods' instead of using them as a main fuel source. I've been practicing this for a long time already.

I will take a list of the foods I ate yesterday. That was an 'unusual day' in several respects because I'd taken a sleeping pill the night before, and felt very groggy in the morning so I didn't make a salad. Also unusual in that I had a small binge at night.
I'll take the day before yesterday as an example, too.

YESTERDAY
food: green smoothie
food: breakfast with yoghurt and oats, a few raisins and cinnamon

Food: can of ratatouille vegetables with brown beans, 2 bowls.
Food: 1 slice of bread with potato salad
Filler: 2 spoonfuls of potato salad

Filler: decaf cappucino

Food: 1 banana
Food: 1 thin slice of spelt bread with peanut butter
Food: small handfull of nuts

Food / filler: mashed potatoes
Food: frittata with zucchini, tomatoe and egg and some cheese
Filler (for overeating): 1 slice of spelt bread with cheese

Filler: chickory coffee with milk
Filler for small binge: 2 slices of spelt bread with cheese
Filler: 1 slice of spelt bread with peanut butter

DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY:
Food - green smoothie
Food - breakfast with yohgurt and fruit and oats and walnuts

Food - 1/2 appel
Food - Salad with beans and endives and cucumber and apple and remoulade sauce
Food - 1 slice of spelt bread with cheese, potatosalad and tomatoe
Food - 1 small slice of bread with butter

Food - Remainder of salad with pototoe salad
Food - 1 slice of wheat bread with cheese

Food - 1/2 cup of mushroom soup,
Food / filler - potatoes with butter
Food - 1 tomatoe with remoulade sauce
Food - some spinach
Food - mock meat with cheese in it
Filler - 1 slice of spelt bread with cheese and potatoe salad

Filler chickory coffee with milk
Food - 'dessert' of a frozen banana with half an apple
Filler ? - 1 slice of spelt bread with potatoe salad.


Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/12/2013 (10:48)
Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
10/11/13 7:01 A

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I did ask my husband for a compliment, that's an accomplishment! He said 'you look good'.
I asked if this was about what I was wearing, but no, this was about ME...! lol

Day 11. Two purposes of food.

I love what she says about how we need to make at least three (and then a few) fuel stops per day and that the quantity of the fuel must be good. It's very much in line with my own idea that I should NOT let myself go too hungry (nor get too stuffed, btw).

I've been trying out for a while already to figure out the best meal times.

Here's an attempt:

breakfast between 8 and 9 am.
lunch between noon and 1 pm.
snack at around 4 pm.
supper around 7 pm.
maybe a small snack at about 10 pm.

I'm also reminding myself of what the dietician told me: to eat more during the day so I will have less cravings / urges to binge and overeat at night. She said she eats a lot of bread during the day (because she's hungry) and then has mostly vegetables and a little protein at night at supper, and then has no urges to eat later at night. Interesting. I would not want to eat a lot of bread but it's still useful to try out eating more during the day.

Another comment I have is that I ALSO find it extremely valuable what I learned from Oolala53 and the No S diet: it's quite important to have only x moments of eating per day. If you start eating, you are likely to continue. I feel so much better now that I have distinct times or 'time windows': I have a meal and then I'm DONE and go do something else, and often don't even think about eating until I notice I'm hungry or my stomach is empty / growling.
The No S diet says to have only three (large) meals per day; that is not something I want to do as I'd get too hungry and that will again triggere binge eating.
But it is VERY useful to say 'I will eat during a meal, and not eat outside of it, period'.

Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/11/2013 (07:07)
Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
10/10/13 11:55 A

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Day 10! I'm thrilled that it's day 10 now.

I wrote a bit about lesson 10 in my blog today. I will ask my husband to give me a compliment but, I can't say I find it easy!

Christina



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10/9/13 2:52 P

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Day 9.

I actually did talk to my husband today and said that if he wants to support me with my efforts to get healthier and slim he could try to make bean burgers and help with the batch cooking more often. His reponse was positive (though he didn't make any clear commitment (yet!). I know he's very busy these days though).

'What I want from you'

If you see me eating something that is not on my plan, give me a hug.
When I'm making progress, give me nonfood gifts or rewards and compliment me on how I look.
When I'm struggling or gaining weight, ask me how you can help and tell me you care about my struggle.
When I'm making progress you can't see, ask me how my efforts are going and give me nonfood small rewards.
When I've maintained my weight, tell me you're proud of my efforts and compliment me.

Not sure I'm willing to read it out loud or post this on the fridge. But I will make an effort to talk about it with my husband.
Doing this lesson made me realize that I'd lik a small nonfood reward, but we don't have money to spend on 'extra's'. Maybe come up with nonfood rewards that are free... Like a massaage or taking over a task in the household... But no. My husband is quie stressed and already doing his best to support me.

Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/9/2013 (14:54)
Christina



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10/8/13 10:57 A

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Day 8.
Things that people are always welcome to do in regard to my healthy eating efforts:
- give me a compliment on how I look or how I'm doing.
- ask me how I'm doing
- cheer me up, for example by reminding me of how far I've come
- offer me gifts to encourage me!
- not get trigger foods in the house
- help me make healthy foods! I'd love it if my husband would more oten make a green smoothie instead of waiting for me to make us one, and in particular if he helped to make bean burgers and do batch cooking.

Things that I don't ever want:
- the food police act
- tell me to stop nagging about my weight and weight loss efforts
- blame me for my food addiction
- criticism about what I eat or choices I make
- make fun of my eating method

As I wrote in my blog today, my husband is very supportive, I'm fortunate.
One thing is that in an argument, he did blame me once or twice for my food addiction and said I talk too much about the weight loss thing. I can understand though and given how supportive he is the rest of the time, we're more than fine, I think.



Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/8/2013 (10:59)
Christina



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10/7/13 4:21 P

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Sugar is a toxin. But you will win the battle with that demon. You CAN do it! You ARE making it a success! emoticon

Linn
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CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
10/7/13 7:56 A

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Day 7
I'm supposed to say 'I can do it'. To be honest, I don't want to.
I have a strong resistance to it. AND in Dutch, translated, it sounds like a dorky sentence.

I don't KNOW if I can do it. - Hmph! As I write this down I realize what nonsense this is! I know that from childhood on I had a belief that losing weight is very hard, a lifelong struggle. This is a belief I got from watching my mother struggle.
However it is of course so that I CAN DO IT!!! I may not actually DO it, but I CAN do it... so that's important to remember.

Okay. Now that I got that out of the way let me state the two slogans I came up with and wrote on sticky notes that I hung on my walls:
- 'I know this works!'
- 'I'm making this a success'.

But I will add 'I can do it', too! :)

The great thing about 'I know this works' for me is that it DOES seem to be so. Today for me is day 14 of not eating sugar. (I do eat foods that have a little sugar in them if I can't find a brand without it, but the idea is not to eat trigger foods like chocolate, ice cream, cake and so on).
AND - today is also day 14 of not having any big binges! I had one 'small binge', but no big ones.
This seems to prove, so far, my theory that if I cut out sugar, I will not nearly be as tempted to binge.
IT WORKS!!! emoticon
Of course, the final judgement will be at the end of the 100 days - then I'll have had 14 weeks to test this idea. But it does seem, after 14 days, that it really, does, work.
I also KNOW this works in the sense that even if I don't see very clear cut results in the form of no binges, weight loss, clothes that fit better etc., I still KNOW that it's just so much healthier, better for my mood and my body to not have the poison that sugar really is.

Christina



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10/6/13 3:56 A

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Thank you!

Day 6: protecting my program.
A good moment to ponder this because I'm visiting my parents today and that's always a challenge with regard to food.

As I said in my blog, I will just say 'no thanks' instead of 'not just yet' because for me, that works better.

I did protect myself already by saying to my father, yesterday when I phoned him to say we are going to visit: 'I'm not eating sugar right now' so that may help; otherwise he'd probably offer me some big sugary dessert.

So high-risk times to me are going out to eat, visiting my family, and evenings.

1. Going out to eat. Set an intention before we go, to skip dessert. Maybe ask if I can take it home so my husband can eat it, if dessert is included in the meal price. Focus on having a nice decaf coffee after the meal, or something else that fits my program.
Focus on the main dish and enjoy that.

2. Let my parents / family know in advance, if appropiate, that I'm not having sugar.
Set a clear intention to watch portions.
I've had chances to practice already by just saying NO to everything they offer beside the meal; they'r notorious for offering a lot of extra's. So I'll just keep saying no, no, no! No, thanks. I will not even consider having any of those, it's a straight decision: no thanks.
I'll take fruit and nuts with me so I can have some of that should I get hungry.

3. Evenings... oo la la. The only things I can come up with right now:
- What I do already is 'treat' myself with a cup of chickory coffee with milk that I really like, instead of having food at night.
- Go to bed earlier.
- Read a nice book or watch TV with husband (with a cup of tea) instead of looking for comfort in food.
- Remind myself that I would like to be hungry for breakfast the next day.
- If I do eat out of hunger, clearly limit the portion. My body doesn't need a lot of fuel before it goes to sleep.
- Decide to 'park' issues when I feel upset or negative at night. Tell myself I'll go to sleep now and let it rest until later.


Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/6/2013 (03:58)
Christina



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10/5/13 3:20 P

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Your wider road expands your program just enough, not too much to still be effective. You have give your goals much thought.

Linn
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CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
10/4/13 5:44 A

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I did all the things on my list for Day 3.

Day 4.
Narrow road:
- no / limited sugar
- exercise 40-60 minutes per day
- in bed before 10.30 pm
- strength training, 10 minutes, 3x a week
- no more than 5 'eating moments' per day
- two green smoothies or 1 green smoothie + a salad per day

Wider road:
- no / limited sugar
- 30 minutes of exercise per day
- in bed before 11.30 pm

*
- make sure I have the mornings off
- nap / reiki daily



Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/6/2013 (02:48)
Christina



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10/3/13 6:49 A

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Day 3.
Got very little sleep last night AGAIN. So I figure that my motivation gets tested thoroughly in this first week! grin.

Made my list:
* Wash dishes
* Nap and do reiki self treatment
* walk both dogs (mine and neighbours) again later on today
* work on writing assingment for numerology

I already did nr. 1 and 2.

I should be honest. The thing I feel LEAST like doing is sticking to 4 or 5 moments of eating per day and to 'eat when hungry, stop at enough'. I'm not even sure I CAN 'do those anyway'.
But, just for today, I will focus on eating when hunry and stopping at enough.

Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/3/2013 (06:51)
Christina



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10/2/13 1:37 P

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Day 2
I like the distinction between in terested and committed. I think that for me to stay committed I need to make sure I don't set my basic goals too high.

How I will stick with my program no matter what.

No sugar: the only thing I can come up with right now is to 'just' (ha, ha) not have it. Or no more than two or three bites. That's about the treshold for me.
I hope in the next days to have the time to write a list of my reasons why I'd better not have sugar. Most of all, I'm so tired of the roller coaster: having some, then craving more, then bingeing on it, then getting sick, then cutting it out, then going through big withdrawal... and have it start all over again. I think I may be better off, and my health and my body too, if I 'just' don't have it. It's less bothersome than to keep on trying to have 'a little' and then go down that same terrible road again.

Exercise: I intend to do 30 minutes every morning. And that's what I have been doing most days since about March when I got a diagnosis of arthritis. Most days I LIKE to go outside and take a walk or a bike ride in the fresh air. When winter comes with ice and snow I hope I'll be able to go swimming again (when my bursitis in my shoulder is over). Or join a gym so I can exercise also when it's slippery outside.

Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/2/2013 (13:52)
Christina



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10/1/13 2:01 P

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Day 1.
Fears or negative behaviors that have hurt my success in the past.
- "I can't do it". Indeed I've so often tried-and-failed...
- "I can't be strong - it's dangerous, if I show strength it will call out attack."
- I guess a fear I have is that if I don't have food / trigger foods to fall back on, I will get totally overwhelmed, washed away by life, by events, by people who walk over me and that I can't ignore. Maybe overeating / bingeing is my way to 'ignore' (at least temporarily!) these things.
-I don't believe in myself, that I 'can do it'.
- Negative behaviors are that I reached for (trigger) foods when life is or seems hard.
- That I cleaned my plate and empty the pan or dish also if I'm no longer hungry.
- That I tend to say 'I don't care' when life feels hard and just eat (and eat).
- That I eat when I'm angry / furious.
- That I eat when I don't know what to do (usually in communication issues).
- I'm trying to come up with more but I come back to the fear that 'I just can't do it'.

New endings:

- I used to believe that I can't do it (can't lose weight, can't eat in a healthy way) but now I leave it open and am willing to assume I can do it.
- I used to eat when I don't know what to do (in communication) but now I realize that this doesn't help and I try to come up with solutions.
- I used to eat when I was angry but now when angry I will try to take deep breaths and count to ten OR take verbal or other action to change the situation.
- I used to say 'I don't care' when life felt hard and just eat and eat, but now I will count to ten and take a deep breath and realize that if I stop right there, it's better than to say WTH and go on (over)eating.

[I must now first go for my bike ride or it will be too late at night - will finish the assignment when I come back... Will think about it on the bike! lol ]
[Okay, did 32 minutes on the bike in the dark, with my husband this time].

- I used to clean the plate AND the dish or pan also if I was not hungry but now I sense if I'm full or not and when full, I leave the leftovers be, either on my plate or in the dish.
- I used to reach for trigger foods / food when life was or seemed hard, but now I try to deal with the problem and/ or do something that relaxes me or soothes me not involving food, such as taking a nap, a bath, reading, washing dishes, taking a walk.
- I used to believe that I can't do it (lose weight, be consistent, have healthy eating habits, be strong), but now I - wow, this is hard. I would be lying if I said I believe I can do it... so... now I am open to a different outcome... now day by day I am working on healthy habits... now I prove to myself day by day as I go along that I can do it.
- I used to say I can't be strong and that it's dangerous to be strong but now I say I can be strong and I will enjoy it and it will benefit me. No one has the right to attack me. I will find ways to be respected.
- I used to fear that if I don't have food / trigger foods to fall back on, I would get totally overwhelmed, washed away by life and events, and people would walk over me. I used to fear that I need food to ignore these things. But now I will no longer try to igore it, I will recognize and acknowledge it that I feel overwhelmed by life and events and that people walk over me. Now I find ways to stop that. - There's a bit of doubt here too, I'm tempted to add: 'if I can'.

Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/3/2013 (09:26)
Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
10/1/13 12:25 P

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My 10 reasons - not just 'to lose weight' but to make this 100 day effort, following my 'simple rules'.

1 To be healthy / healthier & prevent health complaints such as diabetes, cancer, heart complaints, bone problems.
2. To feel fit
3. To heal from fascitis plantaris and be able to walk for hours again.
4. To look better.
5. To feel free of the guilt and the thoughts in the morning about 'what I ate last night'
6. To feel and be stronger, mentally and physically.
7. To live longer and be there in a better way for my loved ones.
8. To heal from binge eating and have a normal eating pattern.
9. To be able to dance and use a trampoline.
10. To be more in touch with myself. When I'm full / numb I can't be in touch with my deeper self.
11. To be done with the roller coaster of bingeing on sugar / chocolate, then stop having it, going through withdrawal, feeling good and fit for a while, only to have it starting over again.
12. To be free from sugar hangovers. To not have those hours / days in which I feel depressed and irritable (or worse!) just because my body deals with sugar withdrawal.
13. To find myself.
14. To be more stable. In my moods, in my eating.
15. To be able to truly appreciate food more.
16. To no longer waste food (by overeating, and also by not eating healthy foods when I'm in 'what the heck' mode).
17. To be better able to help and support others.
18. To overcome food addiction.
19. To free my husband from the burden of a food addicted wife.
20. To learn to tackle emotions and events in themselves; not through a food 'haze' that distracts me.

I intend to write every one of those reasons on a little note card and embellish it with drawings and images, to use as a sort of 'oracle card deck' to draw one card / reason per day to meditate on.

Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
10/1/13 11:38 A

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Day 1.
My 'best diet plan':
I intend to stick to a few 'simple rules.

1. No or limited sugar (limited means: no more than two or three bites).
2. Exercise for 20 - 30 minutes daily, if possible 40-60 minutes per day.

Extension of those simple rules:

3. Go to bed on time on most days and do my best to get enough rest. 'On time' on a good day is at or before 10.30 pm, on a 'regular day' it's between 11 and 11.30 pm.
4. Eat when hungry, stop at enough as well as I can.
5. Have no more than 5 eating moments or 'eating windows' per day: basically three meals and two snacks.
6. Do my best to enjoy the food, chew and taste well.

I am using a food plan designed together with my holistic dietician: it has about 1700 - 2200 calories per day.
Monitoring for me will be monitoring (per 'other goals' at SP) the 6 guidelines mentioned above.

Scale: I will not weigh myself until new years day unless my dietician suggests otherwise.


Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/1/2013 (12:41)
Christina



CHRISTASP's Photo CHRISTASP Posts: 1,620
10/1/13 10:56 A

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This is the thread in which I intend to write about the lessons I'm doing.

Today, October 1st, 2013, is my first day. But I must first manage to get this team forum in order before I can sit down to do lesson one! emoticon emoticon

Edited by: CHRISTASP at: 10/1/2013 (10:58)
Christina



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