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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 16,463
10/24/20 7:35 A

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Thank you to all of you for taking the time to read and comment about this article. It has so much good to say !! Take care and God bless, Deb :) emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast
Portland, Or
Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team
ML/WL co leader of the Rowdy Rebels Spring 5% Challenge 2019
Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder


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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 27,927
10/23/20 5:35 P

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Thank you, Deb. Such wise advice.

Miller

"I forgive myself and set myself free." ~Louise Hay

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be." ~unknown


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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI Posts: 33,625
10/23/20 4:29 A

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Thank you for sharing that. I hope that a lot of people not only read it, but learn from it.

Kris

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
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Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me
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I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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PATERMAS1's Photo PATERMAS1 Posts: 6,628
10/22/20 10:25 P

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Thank you to all you Sparkers emoticon emoticon .

Co-Leader, Dealing with Depression Team

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ? Maya Angelou

“The art of medicine is long and life is short; opportunity fleeting; the experiment perilous; judgment flawed.”-Hippocrates, The Emperor of All Maladies

When the power of love
overcomes the love of power
the world will know peace.
--Jimi Hendrix


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SPARKKITTY2016's Photo SPARKKITTY2016 Posts: 10,995
10/22/20 6:43 P

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OKAY----
This all applies to me:

If we've ever found ourselves feeling taken for a mug, completely emotionally depleted, attracting people who aren't very healthy for us, pinning our decisions on whether they please others, feeling lacking when we compare ourselves against other people, having no time for what we need and enjoy, putting up with and shutting up about shoddy behaviours, really cruel self-talk, always seeing, hearing and understanding others but not ever feeling seen, heard nor understood, then there's an element of self-respect that we might want to lean into.

looking for friends to connect with, get to know, and encourage each other along this journey. :-)
Blessings
~Kathleen

BL Crystal Tigers Sparktastic Summer Slimdown'


Kentucky - EST hisencouraginggrace.wordpress.com hisencouraginggrace.wordpress.com


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CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 13,579
10/22/20 5:30 P

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This is the perfect message for me

Lost 65 lbs and maintained since 2006.


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IAMAGEMLOVER's Photo IAMAGEMLOVER Posts: 51,108
10/22/20 4:46 P

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I so needed to read that. emoticon

I love SparkPeople

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I am responsible for my own happiness.

My name is Bonnie I live in CT DST

I went from 258 to 126 pounds and have maintained it since 12/28/12.

Too Blessed to be Stressed.






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SYLPHINPROGRESS's Photo SYLPHINPROGRESS SparkPoints: (109,567)
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10/22/20 10:27 A

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Thanks for this excellent piece, Deb. It contains so many important reminders and, sad to say, some things that had never occurred to me. As the BLURT Team says, however, I can forgive myself for that. Each day is a new start.

LAURIE, NYC

When you do the right thing, you'll hold your head high.


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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 16,463
10/22/20 8:57 A

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We all need to practice self respect and so often we don't pay attention to ourselves in necessary ways. I hope that you enjoy this article on SELF RESPECT from the B.L.U.R.T. Foundation as much as I did:

We're repeatedly taught about showing respect to others; to listen properly, to compliment, to be sincere, polite, encouraging, to show up for them, hold space, to congratulate, thank, and be helpful.

Somewhere along the line though, the notion of self-respect gets a little lost and there's a disparity between how we treat others and how we treat ourselves.

If we've ever found ourselves feeling taken for a mug, completely emotionally depleted, attracting people who aren't very healthy for us, pinning our decisions on whether they please others, feeling lacking when we compare ourselves against other people, having no time for what we need and enjoy, putting up with and shutting up about shoddy behaviours, really cruel self-talk, always seeing, hearing and understanding others but not ever feeling seen, heard nor understood, then there's an element of self-respect that we might want to lean into.

Self-respect is:

Being honest about who we are and what we need
Making space for things that bring us joy
Taking our own advice
Always choosing the kind choices for ourselves
Asserting boundaries
Spending time with people who respect us
Nurturing our mental and physical-selves
Forgiving ourselves for the mistakes we've made
Learning from said mistakes
Understand and upholding your non-negotiables
Speaking about ourselves in a favourable way
Calling people out when they speak over us when we're talking
Keeping our emotional, physical and mental energy topped up
Self-trust
Saying 'no' when we mean 'no'
Speaking up and not putting up with being mistreated
Building two-way support systems

The thing with self-respect is that it teaches people how we'd like to be treated. If we're always accepting less than we deserve, that's where the barometer tends to fall in terms of how other people learn to treat us and that does such a disservice to the essence of you. It diminishes, devalues, and destroys self-confidence, autonomy, how tall you might stand, what you stand up for, and when.

If your self-respect muscle has atrophied then it'll take mindful, diligent, conscious and repeated action, but it is absolutely a muscle that can be strengthened over time. And, you you matter as much as any other - truly, madly, and deeply.

Lots of love,
The Blurt Team


Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast
Portland, Or
Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team
ML/WL co leader of the Rowdy Rebels Spring 5% Challenge 2019
Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder


 current weight: 118.6 
145
138.25
131.5
124.75
118
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