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ANNMHAN's Photo ANNMHAN Posts: 444
5/27/20 8:34 A

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Thank you all for the support and kind words!!

Ann Marie Hough
Eastern Nebraska
CST (Central)


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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI Posts: 33,220
5/27/20 5:37 A

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I'm really pleased that you are here - not the circumstances, just that you are here.

Abuse is never acceptable, and having to deal with it is very difficult.

One thing has come to mind - perhaps now isn't the time for building any relationships with another man. Instead focus on 'friends'. I'm really glad that you have a Therapist who is helping you and that your Dr is also in the picture. I hope that he/she is also monitoring you closely re tweaking meds as and when indicated, especially given your self-harm thoughts.

Take care, and keep in touch,
Kris


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CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 13,567
5/26/20 7:53 P

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So glad you joined SP and chose this very safe place to vent today. A dear friend just gave me sort of an affirmation to practice. Whenever negative thoughts come up, recognize that they are there and imagine they are a nasty imp sitting on your shoulder and brush them off.
Keep coming back for al, the support we can offer.

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IAMAGEMLOVER's Photo IAMAGEMLOVER Posts: 50,690
5/26/20 6:51 P

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I am sorry to hear that you were abused.

I love SparkPeople

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I am responsible for my own happiness.

My name is Bonnie I live in CT DST

I went from 258 to 126 pounds and have maintained it since 12/28/12.

Too Blessed to be Stressed.






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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 16,408
5/26/20 12:35 P

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Hi !!

I am so sorry to hear of your trials. Abuse is so hard to rise above. Divorce hearings are great places for bringing up old wounds and past hurts and letting them resurface to have to be dealt with again. I am so sorry that your past is full of the hurtful. I agree with Miller, you are doing great with the affirmations and getting together with your therapist to help you work things out. Covid just makes matters worse. Trying a new anxiety medication can only help too. Journaling can make a huge difference, so keep up the terrific work. I can relate to your pain. I have suffered with abusive relationships too and can understand some of what you are going through. Keep talking to your therapist and working through the tears. Relationships can suck. We are here when you need to talk or vent. That is what this team is for. I hope that things get better for you soon. Take care and God bless, Deb :)

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
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ANNMHAN's Photo ANNMHAN Posts: 444
5/26/20 12:05 P

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Thank you for your kind words!

Ann Marie Hough
Eastern Nebraska
CST (Central)


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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 27,127
5/26/20 12:04 P

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I'm sorry that you're struggling so much and I'm also sorry to read that you were abused. That is such a hard thing to endure and to deal with afterwards. It sounds like you have a lot of distressing stressors and then Covid adds another huge layer of stress, I'm know, as it kind of feels to me like the world has turned upside down since the pandemic.

I'm glad you have a therapist and that your doctor is being proactive in adding another medication for the anxiety attacks. I admire you for journaling and for using affirmations to help you through this very difficult time. Those are both great things to do.

Hang in there and don't give up. I've found, after a lifetime of treatment resistant depression and anxiety disorders (along with my abuse of my own), that if I just hang in there and wait, things always get better.

Wishing you better and brighter days ahead.

Miller emoticon emoticon





Miller

"I forgive myself and set myself free." ~Louise Hay

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be." ~unknown


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ANNMHAN's Photo ANNMHAN Posts: 444
5/26/20 11:39 A

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As a teacher, this COVID situation has my depression out of control. I rejoined SP in April to help me stay on track with my weight loss progress. I was doing great until May rolled around. I am not sure what happened. I was casually seeing someone, but he decided that he was not ready to date after being married for 30 years. An old friend popped back into my life (he is an old crush too). Things are going great with him until I had my divorce hearing. My ex was very emotionally and physically abusive, so my past wounds tore back open. He struck a trigger, not intentionally; which I explained after we both calmed down. The look on his face said it all. He could not believe knowing my past, that I dealt with the abuse as long as I did.

I have not been eating like I should, or getting in my fitness this month. My self-care went out of the window. I have spent my therapy sessions in tears trying to restitch my wounds. My doctor added another med for the anxiety attacks. For the first time in 20 years, the self-harm thoughts are powerful. To control those, I repeat my affirmations and do a lot of journaling.

I just needed to vent this morning. Thank you for reading!

Ann Marie Hough
Eastern Nebraska
CST (Central)


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