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KGLOVER71's Photo KGLOVER71 Posts: 1,233
5/20/10 10:02 P

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My favorite thing about kindergarten is the invented spelling. When we studied the letter P, we would have a "P" picnic. The kids would bring things from home that started with the letter P, then we would have a picnic and write about it. Pickles, pizza, peaches, pasta...well, it never failed that we got a lot of peanuts. And let's just say that when kids are spelling "peanuts" they don't hear the t at the end. The writing hanging in the hall was x-rated.

Kim

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KGLOVER71's Photo KGLOVER71 Posts: 1,233
5/20/10 9:56 P

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I used to teach kindergarten and I swear there was a new funny every single day.

One day I was teaching the kids about Columbus. When we were finished I asked someone to tell me what he did, and a little girl said, "He sailed across the sea to find Miss America."

No wonder Columbus was so motivated.

Kim

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ROX5CAR's Photo ROX5CAR SparkPoints: (145,844)
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5/14/10 1:36 P

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When given the option of a candy bar or granola bar in a written question, and why you should pick that option,

A student wrote,"the granola bar because the chocolate has too much shuger in it." Totally cracks me up. So cute.

Roxy
Hebrews 12:1 "...let us run with patience the race that is set before us."

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MSTECHTEACHER's Photo MSTECHTEACHER Posts: 1,419
5/13/10 8:16 A

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Makes sense to me!!! haha

~Suzanne~

Treat the Earth well. It was not given to you by your parents. It was loaned to you by your children.

- Kenyan proverb

Sometimes I get tired of my own bitching.


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PURPLESPEDCOW's Photo PURPLESPEDCOW SparkPoints: (296,861)
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5/13/10 7:57 A

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Years ago after a lesson on capital letter writing, I moved on to Social Studies with my LD class. We had been studing Georgia. I asked the question,"What is the capitol of Georgia?" The student replied, "G."

Beth, Georgia Eastern Time Zone
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CD2716064 Posts: 4,711
5/12/10 2:43 P

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getting to know my 6th graders at the beginning of this year, one girl told me she wants to be a homicide detective when she grows up that way you know "I can't find out who killed you when you die."

CHRISTIE_UIOWA's Photo CHRISTIE_UIOWA Posts: 3,761
5/11/10 9:24 P

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the other day I told a child in my class (shes almost 4...and she's also my boss' daughter) that I liked her new outfit.

her response??
"Thanks..it was five bucks!"

She's definitely her mother's daughter! :)

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VIOLET1019's Photo VIOLET1019 Posts: 1,956
4/18/10 7:15 P

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I teach 1st grade and a few years back I had a student who just didn't want to do any work, especially writing. So one day he's sitting at his desk just writing. Not bouncing around, not avoiding his work, just writing. Well, a little while goes by and now he doesn't have his writing out any more. So I go over to him and ask for it.
Instead of writing a narrative like he was supposed to, he had written down some song lyrics. So I said to him, "I'm glad that you were writing, however, I didn't ask you to write the words to Super Freak." He looked at me and said "How did you know?"
Needless to say, I took that paper to everyone I could think of and we had quite the laugh over it.

~Carrie

"It is what it is and it will be what you make it."





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-AIRYN-'s Photo -AIRYN- Posts: 2,389
4/18/10 7:11 P

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I had a student randomly inform me in the middle of class that he is a "full-blood gangsta."

I teach in an urban HS and he is a senior in a 10th grade math class (for the 4th time) and most def is not a gangsta.

**Goals**

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ROBINRS's Photo ROBINRS Posts: 1,833
4/18/10 5:17 P

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A student came in Wednesday and the first thing she said was "Don't call Mom!" I asked if something happened on the bus - no. At home - no. but she repeated don't call Mom. So, you know what I had to do. That night Mom called me back. the girl had told the bus driver not to pick her up the next day because she was planning to be sick. Mom assured me the girl would be at school and she was. Never did find out why I wasn't to call Mom.

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4/18/10 6:02 A

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Roxell: I just looked at the video you posted the link to that had the little boy upset because he wasn't a "single lady'. This reminded me of my brother. He was the youngest and only boy. If my mom said " You are a good boy." He would start crying saying " I am not a good boy, I am a good girl!"
I don't know how he survived his three sisters but he did!

ROXELLS_WARRIOR's Photo ROXELLS_WARRIOR Posts: 3,851
4/17/10 1:59 P

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"When Christopher Columbus discovered America, he didn't know that the Native Indians already named it after some other guy. But they named some cities after him instead to make him feel better."

~ Roxell ~
bit.ly/christianity-101
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.


STOP! STOP! STOP! Go get a BIG GLASS OF WATER before reading further! ~~This has been a public service announcement. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.~~




CHRISTIE_UIOWA's Photo CHRISTIE_UIOWA Posts: 3,761
4/9/10 10:28 P

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oh, and today I was reading a book with my preschoolers....the book was about all different types of trucks. I read the page..."this truck cleans up litter on the street"....and then asked the kids if they knew what 'litter' was....one of them then replied, "its what cats go to the bathroom in!!"
emoticon

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CHRISTIE_UIOWA's Photo CHRISTIE_UIOWA Posts: 3,761
4/9/10 10:26 P

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oh I just saw the one with the kids in the back seat and the little boy crying....Ill have to check out the other one! :)



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ROXELLS_WARRIOR's Photo ROXELLS_WARRIOR Posts: 3,851
4/9/10 2:13 P

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Which one, Christie? There are two! I just edited my post and separated them so it would be clear :)

~ Roxell ~
bit.ly/christianity-101
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.


STOP! STOP! STOP! Go get a BIG GLASS OF WATER before reading further! ~~This has been a public service announcement. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.~~




CHRISTIE_UIOWA's Photo CHRISTIE_UIOWA Posts: 3,761
4/7/10 1:59 P

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emoticon that video is hilarious!!

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ROXELLS_WARRIOR's Photo ROXELLS_WARRIOR Posts: 3,851
4/7/10 12:57 A

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OK, slightly off topic but the last post about "Single Ladies" and young children made me want to share these...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikTxfIDYx6Q

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb9eL3ejXmE&
fe
ature=related


Edited by: ROXELLS_WARRIOR at: 4/9/2010 (14:12)
~ Roxell ~
bit.ly/christianity-101
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.


STOP! STOP! STOP! Go get a BIG GLASS OF WATER before reading further! ~~This has been a public service announcement. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.~~




CHRISTIE_UIOWA's Photo CHRISTIE_UIOWA Posts: 3,761
4/6/10 11:32 P

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not exactly a funny quote, but today one of the little girls in my class was pretending that one of the long blocks was a guitar, and as she "played" the guitar, she sang "all the single ladies"...hahaha....her mom says she must have got it from the chipmunk movie.

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RACHELB81's Photo RACHELB81 Posts: 644
4/6/10 7:53 P

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I love this thread!

My kindergarteners were printing out a sentence they typed and the printer ran out of paper. There were 3 students standing by the printer- I pulled out the tray to put more paper in and one of the kindergarteners said, "Wow! We're the ONLY ones that get to see this!"

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
My Blog:
rsh81.blogspot.com/
Hoover Hustle 5k 31:07


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ROXELLS_WARRIOR's Photo ROXELLS_WARRIOR Posts: 3,851
4/6/10 2:46 A

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Sounds like he's looking for the male equivalent of the MRS. Degree! :)

~ Roxell ~
bit.ly/christianity-101
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.


STOP! STOP! STOP! Go get a BIG GLASS OF WATER before reading further! ~~This has been a public service announcement. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.~~




MSTECHTEACHER's Photo MSTECHTEACHER Posts: 1,419
4/6/10 2:15 A

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We are currently stationed in Vicenza, Italy and unfortunately I am not teaching, but I am working at the Education Center. So I receive an email from a soldier/student last week letting me know what school he wants as his home college and also the degree plan he wants to pursue...a Bachelorette of Political Science! emoticon

~Suzanne~

Treat the Earth well. It was not given to you by your parents. It was loaned to you by your children.

- Kenyan proverb

Sometimes I get tired of my own bitching.


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-AIRYN-'s Photo -AIRYN- Posts: 2,389
4/5/10 3:58 P

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I teach 10th grade math and I had a group of students inform that I was not allowed to get a cat b/c then I would turn into the cat lady like the science teacher they all hate. I guess I am glad that they are looking out for me...

**Goals**

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CHRISTIE_UIOWA's Photo CHRISTIE_UIOWA Posts: 3,761
4/5/10 3:29 P

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this morning, as my preschoolers were playing at centers during free choice, one of the kids was randomly singing the song 'Bad Boys' (also the same child that was talking about the movie 'The Perfect Storm' last week....yeah....apparently his parents let him watch whatever??) so I asked him where he heard that song...and he said, "COPS!" ....and proceeded to say, "I want to get under arrest". Granted, he was just being silly when he said that, I still cant believe that his parents let him watch some of the stuff that he talks about!!!

AHHH!! SOME PEOPLE'S KIDS!!! haha

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TOMTIE's Photo TOMTIE Posts: 37
3/29/10 5:33 A

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My kids did a Natural Sciences test, where I asked them which are the particles in the atom nucleus.
One student wrote: Electrons, neutrons and... proteins.

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KORYCHEER Posts: 179
3/25/10 12:15 P

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Okay, this has been fun! The story that I have is from a friend of mine that I really wish she would have published somewhere. It goes like this:
Student: "Ms. Godwin, Ms. Godwin, I've got to go pee!"--followed by class full of laughter.
Ms. Godwin: "Please don't say that. Please say I've got to go #1".
A week later:
Student: "Ms. Godwin, Ms. Godwin, I have to stink."
Ms. Godwin: "We don't say that. Please say I've got to go #2".
A week later (give or take)
Student: "Ms. Godwin, Ms. Godwin, hurry up, give me a number, I've got to fart!"
Ms. Godwing (almost on the floor dying at this point): 4--F-A-R-T. 4.

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ROXELLS_WARRIOR's Photo ROXELLS_WARRIOR Posts: 3,851
3/22/10 5:08 P

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"the brown james" that is TOO funny!!

Today an 11th grader said she is "horrified" by the national health care bill passing because now she'll have to wait in line too long at the clinic.

(Yes, sweetheart, it's all about you.)


~ Roxell ~
bit.ly/christianity-101
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.


STOP! STOP! STOP! Go get a BIG GLASS OF WATER before reading further! ~~This has been a public service announcement. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.~~




FAERYBRIDE's Photo FAERYBRIDE Posts: 51
3/22/10 3:51 P

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I teach Grade 12 English, and this year on Feb. 13th, my class was very chatty. I finally asked them what was going on, and one boy said, "Miss.. we just realized this is our last Valentine's Day in school. Can we please exchange cards tomorrow because it's the last time we can do it without it being creepy." Well, didn't they all bring in cards for each other. I got them Power Rangers cards - I think they liked them :)

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RACHELB81's Photo RACHELB81 Posts: 644
3/22/10 3:14 P

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My kids were doing an Ohio webquest and the last question had them clicking on a list of tourist destinations/events. They had to tell me where they would go and 3 things they would do there. One of my little girls clicked on the Cleveland Cavaliers page and wrote she would go to a cavs game. She also wrote that she would really like to meet "the brown james" while she was there... (labron james)
emoticon

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
My Blog:
rsh81.blogspot.com/
Hoover Hustle 5k 31:07


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HEALTHYKIDS2 Posts: 98
3/21/10 5:00 P

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I was teaching kindergarten when a girl came up and said that another boy had said a bad word. Knowing this kid and his parents I was quite surprised. I asked her what word. She said the "z" word. My reply: What is the "z" word. She said "zit!"

Funniest part is that I now have these same students as third graders and they still remember that day as well. Now they get how funny it actually is.

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IRISH_AGUIRRE Posts: 8,842
3/12/10 8:59 P

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Venus - LOL!

Thanks, Roxell. I'm still smiling from that one, too.

VENUSEKT Posts: 36
3/12/10 3:14 P

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A conversation in one of my Special Ed classes (6th graders):

Richie: Jose, you're an idiot!

Jose: Mrs. B! Richie called me the "E" word.

"When life gives you lemons...stick them in your bra. Couldn't hurt. Might help."


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ROXELLS_WARRIOR's Photo ROXELLS_WARRIOR Posts: 3,851
3/12/10 11:06 A

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Becky, that just made my day and I wasn't even there! Thanks for sharing. You DO have cool friends! :)

~ Roxell ~
bit.ly/christianity-101
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.


STOP! STOP! STOP! Go get a BIG GLASS OF WATER before reading further! ~~This has been a public service announcement. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.~~




IRISH_AGUIRRE Posts: 8,842
3/11/10 10:30 P

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This morning, our friend (a children's book author/illustrator like my DH) spoke at our sons' school for author's month. She is a "paper engineer" - she can "draw with scissors" & makes really cool things, in addition to her drawings. Toward the end of the assembly for the upper grades (3-5), a boy from one of the special day classes turned around to face my DH & me and said to us with true joy, "You have very cool friends." It was so cute! We were really touched. I have known this boy for 6 years - he has a very difficult time sitting still & remaining quiet, yet he was great through the entire 40 minute assembly. I'm still smiling from this.

TECHSUN's Photo TECHSUN Posts: 592
3/10/10 11:31 P

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I agree that goats probably exist. emoticon I once got that our first president was Jorge Washington.

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JESSSPARK's Photo JESSSPARK Posts: 130
3/10/10 2:02 P

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My favorite was from an essay about ESP (I teach the chapter on sensation and perception in psychology). One student wrote that she believed in vampires, witches, and goats.

I told her that I agreed that goats probably exist. ;)

She clearly meant to say ghosts! Still makes me smile.

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ROCKETQUEEN24's Photo ROCKETQUEEN24 Posts: 16
3/10/10 12:51 P

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I was grading the 8th grade entrance exams for the high school where I work to determine who would go into honors,etc. The topic for the essay was "Explain an after school activity that is beneficial for students and why". A girl was writing about cheerleading and wrote "Cheerleading causes Socialism"... clearly meaning "Social skills". It was definitely one of the more amusing parts of my day.

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MSTECHTEACHER's Photo MSTECHTEACHER Posts: 1,419
3/10/10 2:51 A

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Very funny Stacy! Now my questions are...where did it come from, where did he find it, did he bring it from home and...(dare I ask...), did you recognize it???? hahahaha emoticon

~Suzanne~

Treat the Earth well. It was not given to you by your parents. It was loaned to you by your children.

- Kenyan proverb

Sometimes I get tired of my own bitching.


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IRISH_AGUIRRE Posts: 8,842
3/9/10 9:36 P

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Oh my! Both great ones!

STACY517's Photo STACY517 Posts: 154
3/9/10 9:23 P

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Well it's not so much as what someone said, but what happened. Today was our big FCAT day, the first year of standardized testing and it's a pretty stressful ordeal. Well after everyone went to the bathroom and ate their snack a little boy comes up to me with something in his hand and asks "Mrs. S, what's this?" no joke he was holding up a nude colored thong for EVERYONE to see! Without trying to cause any commotion before the test I told him "Oh I don't know, just put it on my desk and I'll figure it out later." Holy crap do you know how many times I giggled while looking at that thing (which was now removed from my desk) and at planning proceded to show my whole team and the principal the "surprise" that was found in my room! Everyone had a good laugh to ease out a stressful day!

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ROXELLS_WARRIOR's Photo ROXELLS_WARRIOR Posts: 3,851
3/9/10 3:17 P

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One of my H.S. students wrote this in response to "What is a healthy choice for a snack?" ...

"Anything that doesn't have a wrapper, except for bananas and oranges because you have to unwrap those before you eat them or you will never like to eat fruit again."

~ Roxell ~
bit.ly/christianity-101
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.


STOP! STOP! STOP! Go get a BIG GLASS OF WATER before reading further! ~~This has been a public service announcement. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.~~




IRISH_AGUIRRE Posts: 8,842
3/9/10 12:53 A

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So cute! So sweet! My boys feel that way about "their Brina."

CHRISTIE_UIOWA's Photo CHRISTIE_UIOWA Posts: 3,761
3/7/10 1:30 P

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So last night I babysat for a kid in my class (he turns 4 in a couple weeks) and his older brother...hes in kindergarten. While last night as all three of us are laying on the couch watching cartoons, the older one says, "babysitters are nicer than mom's and dad's." hahaha


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IRISH_AGUIRRE Posts: 8,842
3/5/10 12:45 A

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That one about loving everyone made us all laugh.

ROXELLS_WARRIOR's Photo ROXELLS_WARRIOR Posts: 3,851
3/4/10 10:55 P

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Irish - I love that book! They are real letters, too.

Three of my favorites:

Dear God...

How did you know you were God?

It must be hard for you to love everyone in the whole world. I only have one brother and I can't do it.

Thank you for my new baby brother. But what I prayed for was a puppy.

Edited by: ROXELLS_WARRIOR at: 3/4/2010 (22:57)
~ Roxell ~
bit.ly/christianity-101
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.


STOP! STOP! STOP! Go get a BIG GLASS OF WATER before reading further! ~~This has been a public service announcement. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.~~




MISSYLEE7's Photo MISSYLEE7 Posts: 413
3/4/10 3:37 P

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I was chatting with my class of 5 year olds one morning, sharing their news stories from the weekend. One child, a very fair skinned, blond, blue-eyed boy, was rather quiet so I encouraged him to share something with the class. He seemed at a loss for a moment and then a thought flashed across his face. "I've got a new dad!" he declared. For a moment I was at a loss but I gathered myself and said "Oh, what's he like?" Pause for further thought. "He's black" came the reply. The boy's mother and seven siblings had the same fair colouring as the boy and I imagined the visual impact alone the man would make on the family. "Can you try to tell us something about him?" I persisted bravely. More thought. "He can run faster than our dog" he stated and then added triumphantly: "But not the big 'un!".

CHRISTIE_UIOWA's Photo CHRISTIE_UIOWA Posts: 3,761
3/3/10 11:03 P

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haha I forgot to add this one last week....

So, the local library has a children's reading program and once/month, one of the library workers will come to our preschool room and do a story-time and activities with my class and bring new books for our room, etc..

One of the kids in my class had asked the library worker when Smyles (the library's dog mascot) would come to visit again....and she said, "He will come visit your preschool again in the fall..." Child's response?? "We dont go to preschool..." So, she said, "Oh, what is it then??" He replied, "College." hahaha :P

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IRISH_AGUIRRE Posts: 8,842
2/26/10 3:34 P

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So cute!

CHRISTIE_UIOWA's Photo CHRISTIE_UIOWA Posts: 3,761
2/26/10 3:01 P

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Today one of the kids in my class was playing a Dora the Explorer game at our computer center....(that game seems to often cause the computer to freeze). He said, "christie, the game isnt working"....so I replied, "oh, is it frozen again??" his response..."no, its warm...I felt it."

hahahaha

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IRISH_AGUIRRE Posts: 8,842
2/24/10 5:52 P

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Love 'em!
Today at our faculty meeting (I teach at a church-based university), our opening devotional came from a little book, Children's Letters to God. I can't remember any of the quotes right now, but they were so good!

MISSYLEE7's Photo MISSYLEE7 Posts: 413
2/21/10 8:16 A

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I read a couple of jokes recently, here, on the Spark People site. They are 'in the mould' of the thread and I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

Teacher: What are you drawing?
Little girl: God.
Teacher: But nobody knows what God looks like.
Little girl: They will soon.

00 -- 00 -- 00

Teacher: Whales are very big but eat the smallest creatures in the ocean.
Little girl: A whale ate Jonah.
Teacher: Jonah might not have been telling the truth.
Little girl: When I get to Heaven I'll ask him.
Teacher: Perhaps Jonah didn't go to Heaven.
Little girl: You ask him then.

IRISH_AGUIRRE Posts: 8,842
2/21/10 12:15 A

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OMG! Mum & I just got a good laugh out of these.

MOTIVATEDSANDY Posts: 12
2/20/10 9:17 A

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At recess, a kindergartener came up to her teacher as I (fifth grade teacher) was standing next to her. The sweet little girl told her teacher that "Johnny" called her the "B" word. Since Johnny was known for his potty mouth, and a call home would have to happen, and, unfortunately the "B" word could be booger or brat, the K teacher asked, "honey, exactly what did he call you?" She replied, "Mother F#@%&r" That is wrong in so many ways. Maybe she missed "B" day in kindergarten!



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SK8ERSMOM Posts: 204
2/19/10 8:46 P

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Subbing in a 4th grade Math class. They were working on measurements and had to write down two things that were about 6 feet. One of the girls asked if I was that tall and I said no (I'm only 5 ft) and then she asked if the air vent above me was 6 feet from the floor. So I said that no, since I was only 5 feet tall and the air vent was more than one foot above me. So she asked if she could write that 6 foot would be Mrs. Q plus a ruler!

CHRISTIE_UIOWA's Photo CHRISTIE_UIOWA Posts: 3,761
2/18/10 11:42 P

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Becky---thats TOO funny!! emoticon

today, as i was reading to one of the 3 year-olds in my class, she randomly interrupted my during the story to hug me and say, "I like you..."
hehe...i can never get enough hugs from my kids!

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IRISH_AGUIRRE Posts: 8,842
2/18/10 5:57 P

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My DH is painting a mural in our sons' school library. As part of the "make-over," he rearranged the tables & chairs into a "nicer" layout. (They are now in a U-shape, instead of scattered around.) I was in the library this morning, and one of the 2nd graders said, "Look! They totally messed up the tables!" I had to giggle.

TOMTIE's Photo TOMTIE Posts: 37
2/18/10 4:10 A

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I teach a class in Basic Natural Sciences this term and yesterday they did a test on the first two chapters. The question was: " What is the simplest difference between an acid and a base?".
The answer I wanted was "The pH value". One of my very interested and talented lads went up to me and asked if the answer he'd written was correct. He'd written "the sweetness".
He meant that an acid was more sour than a base.
Hilarious to any science teacher...
I started to giggle and it ended in me laughing out loud and falling off my chair which made all the young boys laugh so hard, we had to take a break from the test.

Edited by: TOMTIE at: 2/18/2010 (04:12)
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MRSSPEED's Photo MRSSPEED Posts: 4
2/17/10 1:27 A

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I teach a 4th/5th grade blend. Well today I wore heels. I never wear heels. I had a few of my 4th and 5th grade girls tell me that I looked hot. Oh my gosh...I needed that today!

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CHRISTIE_UIOWA's Photo CHRISTIE_UIOWA Posts: 3,761
2/16/10 9:55 P

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well one of the 3 year-olds in my class dropped the F-BOMB today...does that count?? emoticon

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SK8ERSMOM Posts: 204
2/7/10 5:19 P

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I was subbing in a Kinder class on Friday and when I had a small group sitting at the reading table with me, one of the little girls said, "I like your earrings. They look like the top at my church". (I had crosses on!)

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2/7/10 7:43 A

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CUTIEPIEESH10's Photo CUTIEPIEESH10 Posts: 136
2/6/10 4:30 P

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I teach 4 year old kindergarten at a daycare and I'm lucky enough to have my director's daughter in my class. Well we were talking about the sense of sight and we talked about how some people can't see as well as others and have to wear glasses or contacts to help them see. Well I wear glasses and contacts but mostly glasses. One day I wore my contacts and my director's daughter looks at me and is almost crying when she says to me "Ms. Emilie, you know you can't see as good as I can't. Why didn't you wear your glasses!" I looked at her almost laughing and told her that I had my contacts in today. She replied " Well good, cause I didn't want to have to take care of you if you ran into a wall!" HA HA HA!

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