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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/28/20 3:58 A

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Hi Koshie.

I don't have rough days emotionally simply because my ex-husband was verbally abusive for 30 years. He was totally jealous of me - if I received a compliment from a man or woman , he would insinuate that I was having an affair with both of them. And over the years, this worsened. The accusations got worse and more sordid all the time. He was poor at money management and would spend beyond his means and expect me to pick up the tab. He belittled me in front of his family on many occasions and in front of strangers.

I have never been happier. I don't feel lonely at all. It's wonderful to be able to come back home to a non-toxic environment. It feels like a safe haven now.

Moskito is still training me 3 days a week and he also trains my DS twice a week. He has told everyone that I am his godmother. And looks out for me all the time. That's the sweet part of him. The other part of him is still prevalent - the one that designs new torturous programs every quarter and I started my new program in January and as a result , I have reverted to my old "I am going to kill this boy" mantra. That mantra will reduce in February and leave me by the end of March.....by which time , it will be time for my new program for the second quarter!! emoticon

I still walk/jog on the treadmill, cycle on the recumbent bike, run on the elliptical trainer and row on the stationary machine every Tuesday and Thursday. And I walk/jog in the Lake Gardens nearby on Sundays. I also cook my curry dishes on Sunday and freeze these to be used for the week to come. And on a daily basis, I get Jenna, my helper to cut up vegetables, onions, garlic, ginger etc etc. and I whip up 1 or 2 veg dishes to go with the curry. Not too bad except if I travel on work. Then I will just buy back some food, order in or just go out with friends for a meal.

My condolences to your friend on her loss...it's always sad to see your sons (stepson, included) go before you do. All said and done, you have made sure that your kids grew up responsibly in all areas. emoticon my kawan.

Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/27/20 9:53 P

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Hi Prema!
How's it going? Is the helper improving? Do you ever have any rough days emotionally simply because you got divorced? I imagine it is a big change and one must sometimes worry simply about being alone.
You don't talk about running anymore.... and rarely about what Moskito is putting you through. And I wonder why this is.

If you are married, nesting can be SUCH a problem! MM and I never agreed on what looks nice. It is difficult to care when you are continually stymied. Perhaps this is what the friend's friend faces. I remember my Sister-in-Law complaining about my brother's lack of input or response to her nesting efforts when they were married only about 5 years....he didn't seem to care! And I laughed and said "Close your eyes. Now, you've been to my place.... Picture my living room in your mind. Wander mentally into the dining room and kitchen and powder room. Okay, now open your eyes and look at YOUR place! See how nice your home looks? And how bad MY place looks? MM CARES! Count your blessings!"
On the other hand, if you aren't married, it can be hard to scrape enough money together to afford nice things. Still, "pigsty" is a level that most of us can avoid with minimal to some effort! This woman probably had a privileged upbringing and simply doesn't know how to take care of herself and her things! I must admit, I had to learn to do housework, and I don't particularly like doing it! I certainly spent effort teaching my children to clean up after themselves and I expected them to spent time on the house in general also as their contribution to family life. I taught them cleaning and cooking and laundry and mending and small house repairs. I taught them gardening, and lawn and tool maintenance. They were good kids. Now they're good adults.

One of the ladies at exercise just got back from a funeral for her step-son. emoticon He was on a motorcycle and was killed in a collision. Only a couple years ago, one of her sons died. emoticon I feel SO fortunate that my kids are making better life decisions....
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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/26/20 8:37 A

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Hi Koshie. I have always said that you have a far bigger heart than many people I know personally. For you to be worried about your black woman friend, and for you to feel as moved as you did when Teresa referred to you as her best friend, it means that I am totally right.

These days I have discovered that there are more women who do not invite people to their homes because they have not invested in their own homes. They ave not taken the trouble to turn a home into a haven where they can relax at the end of the day and where close friends can congregate from time to time. I have a friend's friend who lives in the proverbial pigsty....she is an absolute mess! Totally!

And I must thank you for your very kind words. You have a very good heart and you take a lot of trouble for people whom you care about. You are a good daughter, sister, mother, friend, cousin, MIL, etc etc.
There will come a day when people will recognise these traits in you and will want your hand of friendship. Who knows - it may be too late for them, by then.

Have a great Sunday, thank you for your friendship and I value you, too.

Beeeeeeeeg emoticon back......Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/25/20 11:23 P

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I believe that while Obama was the USA president, racism went "underground".
The backlash was electing Trump, who is SUCH a misogynist in EVERY category.... His outrageous (and I mean it, so many of us are not just offended, we're outraged!) behavior has encouraged so many of the worst elements in our society to act out. I feel vulnerable. And I a privileged white woman feel that way and I worry for the very safety of my black woman friend. I never worried for her before.

Yesterday, a wonderful thing happened to me. After exercise, everyone who wishes goes to the cafe and we all sit and gab; and in the course of conversation, Teresa casually referred to me as her best friend. I held it togeher but as soon as I left and got into my car, I started crying. How is it that as adults our reactions get so screwed up, we cry when we are just SO H-A-P-P-Y? I had some errands to do in the area, and it turns out my friend had some to do also; we bumped into each other awhile later. I blurted out that she made me cry (oops! awkward!) and she was momentarily distressed as I then hugged her and got all choked up and told her that I cried because I was so happy because...

A long conversation about the nature of friendship ensued while we both commiserated how difficult it is to make friends as an adult given lack of opportunity, time constraints, and lack of appropriate response from the people you DO try to be friends with. I for instance, have tried for 20 years to make REAL FRIENDS of the ladies with whom I exercise. Yet, despite good feelings in general, they are companions and not friends, because they haven't responded to my overtures of friendship with similar overtures. They haven't invested their time, they haven't invited me to their homes, they don't call just to talk..... without reciprocation, there is no friendship. It takes TWO to make a friendship!

Now, I actually consider you to be a friend, despite having never met you in person. You do invest. Sadly, there are limitations due to time zone and distance, but I've really felt that you've made the most of what "tools" we have to be friends to each other. And I value you, my kawan! I just wanted to say thank you.

BBBBEEGggggggggggg Huggggggggs emoticon emoticon

Edited by: KOSHIE1 at: 1/25/2020 (23:24)
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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/24/20 6:53 A

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Oh dear....Martin Luther King....how terribly sad....

In the late 70s, there was this American guy who was interested in me during my university days and when he held my hand in public, people stared at us. People of all races, Koshie, including members of my community and this poor kid was totally oblivious to it all.
I had to tell him early on that we could never have a relationship - he thought it was because of our color....it was because I just did not have feelings for him. That was challenging!

I met him again about 20 years later, and boy! did he look different. His feedback was that there was more acceptability about color in America....he had married an African-American, an absolutely gorgeous woman. And he said that America had now grown beyond racial creed and skin color.

Feels like America 10 years ago was more forward than America today. It's the same in Malaysia. We were more comfortable with people of other races before and now we are just more conscious about how different we are......how sad! We are all going backwards!

Yup...I agree....let's focus on having a great day.... a very great TGIF...

Beeeeeeeg emoticon emoticon , Prema

Edited by: PREMAMEHROTRA at: 1/24/2020 (06:55)
KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/23/20 12:20 P

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There was a large gathering of white-power Neo-Nazis and gun-rights activists on MLK Day (because a day honoring a BLACK man's efforts to unite American black and white cultures is a PERFECT day for white-power Neo-Nazis to flagrantly gather en masse sporting AUTOMATIC RIFLES!) in Virginia. The governor was so alarmed that he requested National Guard backup. And there were protestors gathered around and protesting the gathering of the Neo-Nazis. In other words: a powder-keg awaiting one tiny spark to explode. You didn't hear about it I suppose because everybody kept their cool and didn't provide the spark. Some of those guns have been confiscated at airports now, and the gun-rights activists are upset...

Yes, I've told you I own 2 guns -- a hunting rifle, and a semi-automatic pistol my Dad gave me after I was assaulted inside my home in my 20's. But I don't believe that America's right to bear arms in public included loaded automatic rifles capable of killing many dozens of people at a single pull of the trigger, (not at ALL, but) especially when borne by angry men looking to create trouble.

Well, we've got you beat! We've got an orange-skinned clown in office who needs no help at all in embarrassing and ENDANGERING our nation!

I'm NOT going to focus on that. I'm going to focus on having that good day you wished me!
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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/22/20 6:29 A

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Why were there large gatherings of protesters, Koshie? It cannot be because of the impeachment, can it?
We are hearing all sorts of stories back here - and CNN is basically covering the details of the opening statements put forth by both the Democrats and the Republicans.

Stay safe, my kawan.

In Malaysia, we are going crazy as tapes now confirm that the Prime Minister's evil wife was giving her husband instructions on what to do and telling him what decisions to make for the country. It's embarrassing!!

Have a good one today, my kawan.

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/21/20 9:48 A

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Yes, so far, winter has been very gentle with us! There's only been ONE day that has felt "cold".
It is always SPRING when we get the most snow. That's when the snow-shoveling and the dangerous driving conditions happen. That's when you MUST wear your sunglasses because everywhere is blindingly bright! And that's when your spring-blooming irises might get frozen in bud.... emoticon

We are also glad that there was no outbreak of violence anywhere due to large gatherings and protesters.....

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/21/20 5:49 A

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Hi Koshie.

Yes, very glad that Martin Luther King's Day was celebrated with so much peace and serenity.

And isn't it wonderful that the weather has been more merciful to you this year than last year? My pals in Newfoundland, Canada, tell me that parts of the country have had 30 inches of snow.And my daughter in Melbourne has been describing the storms and hailstones she has seen!

Take care and enjoy your emoticon

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/20/20 12:48 P

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Yesterday was serene the whole day!

Today, the church is closed so there is no exercise class. Fortunately the weather is nice. I hope to take a nice long walk later today when it gets warmer.
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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/20/20 5:49 A

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emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Enjoy your Day of Rest....thank you American football players. Hope the weather is also cooperating to ensure you have a restful and nice day.

Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/19/20 4:32 P

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It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. And indoors, MM will be stuck in front of the TV for hours watching (American) football. For me -- truly a Day of Rest!
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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/19/20 4:31 A

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Very kind of you, Koshie.
I have to be realistic about Jena. I will keep her until I get another helper who is more capable, and can be taught. But given my nature (soft in the heart and soft in the head, sometimes!!), I will see how much I can help her until she gets another employment.
I am also very realistic about Rosa - as I am about most people. She was a good helper although she was not without her flaws. And it may have been time for both of us to move on without each other.

You definitely have/had a daughter-in-law from hell! I can understand this as I had an MIL from hell and 2 BILs, also from the same place. Life is so much better now minus shouting and toxicity. Your stepson will definitely find the future very challenging especially if she starts giving trouble. He has to have courage.

All the best. Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/18/20 5:55 P

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I now know why you hired Jena -- you have the BIGGEST and softest heart, my kawan! emoticon You must be missing Rosa very much right now!
Just keep telling yourself that what Jena learns (hopefully, rapidly!) will be EXACTLY how to please YOU, a CEO; and this will serve her in good stead later. And just remember that you took her on and while it is a trial given her lack of skills, it is ALSO your trial to not break Jena's heart. I mean, she probably knows she is lacking in the skills department but is so desperate as to accept the job you offered anyway, hoping against hope.... She must be scared and more scared with each passing day when you must TEACH her what she should already know. A hard situation for the both of you! I'm sure you are human and will heave a few big sighs which will be overheard -- but remember to offer praise and encouragement too.
But you know this better than I do!

Today, I learned that my stepson -- who was with us during Xmas -- has consulted a divorce attorney. When the only choices you have are the ones which are bad, worse, and worst, I'm glad that he has chosen the bad and is preparing to move on and get it over with so that he and his children can have a chance at improving their lives. And I'm glad to be able to hope that I won't have to spend as much time in the future with his EX-wife as I did with his wife!

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I am just re-editing my post to say that I scanned previous posts and realized how diligent I was about NOT saying anything bad about my Russian DIL. I just want you to have a general idea about why I would say that I'm glad I don't have to spend time with her anymore. She acts like a 4 yo. She stomped around my house AGAIN this Xmas, slamming cabinet doors, to let everyone know she was offended, because -- as it turned out -- I had given her son a cold treat. For which I needed to apologize! She feels she must control everything and everyone -- even in someone else's home! She has thrown temper tantrums before; and she'll do it for days on end! She refuses to eat with us, to sit at table with us, to sit and talk with us; she stays in the guest room as much as possible to avoid us in our own home -- aftter 10 years! She is disrespectful, outright rude(!), weird, and... she is the type of person who counts the number and value of the gifts we give her and compares them to what is given to the others -- and you know what she gave ME for Xmas one year? A wooden comb. From Russia. A different year? Hard candy (when everyone knew I was dieting). From Russia. This year? A stuffed animal. But it was from RUSSIA! Like I care. I confess, I have already gotten rid of the stuffed toy because I am a grown woman and I've hated stuffed toys since.... forever!
We've made excuses for her for 10 years, but all of us are at the end of our tolerances.

Edited by: KOSHIE1 at: 1/18/2020 (18:30)
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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/18/20 4:04 A

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Hi Koshie.

As they say, miracles will never cease.....and Jena is one of the 53 year old miracles from a poor family in the Philippines who never learnt to cook.
I can cook for 5 to 8 people easily when I am at home all day like the weekends or so.....however, when this CEO returns each day from a long day's work, she hopes that everything gets done by the time she walks into her apartment.

She has at least learnt to do the housework after a week....now to teach her some ironing techniques.

Have a great Saturday and get all your R&R, my kawan.

Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/18/20 12:18 A

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ah HA! Cooking IS a very important task! How can you get to be her age and not be able to chop, and cook? Recipes exist for the non-talented! It is however, a learned skill to be able to cook for various sizes of groups of people. It was quite some time before I was able to successfully cook for two instead of 10, since I grew up helping Mom cook for our large family. With 5 boys, leftovers were NEVER a problem! And I remember quite clearly the first time I cooked a small dinner party -- just one other couple -- but had everything perfect AND a completely clean kitchen BEFORE our company arrived. I was VERY proud of myself! Why? Because I also grew up with a maid, and cleaning after myself was also a skill I had to teach myself as an independent adult. My mom also did not have kitchen organization skills to pass onto me; there is definitely a skill in being able to chop, wash the chopping boards and knives 3 times, make the tea, cook, wash the pots while you are cooking, wipe the counters 3 times While you are cooking, sweep the floor WHILE you are cooking... and not have everything burn because your attention was elsewhere! emoticon

So how did you find this lady? Were you not able to vet her skills before hiring?

I'm glad it is Friday -- because tomorrow is Saturday -- and nothing is scheduled for Saturday. Today was very full and I'm very tired. emoticon

Big hugs, my kawan!





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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/17/20 4:13 A

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Hi Koshie. I can understand your indignation...I felt the same way.
The keeping of the house clean, and the laundry washed appear to be okay. However, she will probably, in this birth, be totally non-trainable for cooking. Totally!

My son and I are the only permanent residents in my apartment. The apartment itself is fairly big but by and large, we are both fairly clean people ourselves, so the cleaning is not an insurmountable challenge. Neither is the laundry!!

The only real challenge, at any point in time, for Rosa and for any helper that works for me, is to assist me in cooking for small groups of 5 to 8 people who come for dinner once in a while.

I should be able to sort myself out by February on this.....we hope and pray!!!

Have a great TGIF, my kawan.

Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema



KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/16/20 4:25 P

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What kind of women "can't do much" at age 53? emoticon Seriously? emoticon You got to be kidding! emoticon I mean, even grandmas manage to keep houses clean, laundry washed, and people fed! What on Earth are you expecting her to do beyond that? Just how big are the mountains she must move? I don't know whether to be appalled or impressed?!

We have entered into the Winter Lull, or Ennui, or Hibernation. Everything is peaceful, at least locally. I'm glad I'm not in Washington D.C.! Nothing to do around here but cook and organize.
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Edited by: KOSHIE1 at: 1/16/2020 (16:25)
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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/16/20 6:32 A

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I have a part-time helper for now, Koshie and she's 53 years old. She can't really do much and I am sure she will find it very hard to get a job elsewhere, so I plan to keep her till month end and have her earn enough to be able to go back home to the Philippines.

In February, I will probably get another one and start all over again. So, let's s see how well this turns out.

In the meantime, good job staying hydrated. Keep at it.

And keeping my fingers crossed that winter will slowly make its way out of your life.

Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/15/20 11:18 P

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I AM trying to drink more water. I finish a bottle during exercise; and generally when I'm at my computer, I remember to fill up a glass or 2.... but otherwise I do drink LOTS of tea! Dehydration is a problem only when I'm WORK-ing. Watching TV, reading, being on the computer, even exercising isn't "working". It's when the physical and mental tasks are so consuming that I forget....

So, how's the search going? Are you well fed? Have you asked all your friends to call you if they hear of anyone?

I got my shingles and flu shots... The shingles shot is known to cause lingering soreness. MM moaned about it for a month. So far, it hurts to the touch, but otherwise, is not limiting. I'm good. And I'm noticing that sunrise is starting a couple minutes earlier now... already my spirits are rising!
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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/13/20 4:21 A

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That's the way....

Make sure you also include 8 to 10 glasses of water on a daily basis..... emoticon

Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/12/20 2:01 P

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...sipping tea as I type...
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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/12/20 9:03 A

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That's the spirit, Koshie.

Stay hydrated and keep me posted about how much better this ends up for you.

My substitute for Rosa has yet to turn up. So, it's my turn to cook and clean up etc etc - in other words, do housework that I totally detest and am too tired to handle at the end of a long day at work!

Will keep you posted, my kawan. Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/11/20 12:09 P

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(pause....)
You know, you're right! I never thought about that! I DO forget to stay hydrated when I work! When I work outside, DD is always bringing me soemthing to drink... and stays until I finish the glass and then she takes it away (she strongly hates working outside!). But when I work inside, I can be working just as focused and non-stop (I used to be fast but steady -- and now I'm slow but steady), I still don't think about drinking even though water is as close as the kitchen.....

2 Xmases ago, DD got me a giant ceramic mug from which to drink my morning tea. It holds 4 cups! -- and I rarely finish it before evening because work doesn't wait! Once I start, I tend to just keep going until I'm done. Until I'M done; sometimes the work is bigger than I am! But thirst doesn't enter into the equation.

Thanks for pointing out the water/energy equation. I'm going to have to start "working" emoticon on that!



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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/11/20 9:10 A

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Great news for today, Koshie. So glad for you.

Pack up all the decor you want and can....but minus the exhaustion. And make sure you stay hydrated when you are working....this could be one of the reasons you feel bad after a few days of non-stop working!

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Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/10/20 5:36 P

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The pain has stopped; no pain last night either (40 hours pain-free!) and I SLEPT (so needed) for 8.5 hours! That was unexpected -- I woke up at 8:30, 2-3 hours later than I normally do -- and so late that I couldn't make it to exercise!

And I feel good, BTW, thank God! The number of days a week that I sleep for 8 hours is gradually increasing. My "sleep hygiene" is not immaculate though much improved even though it did deteriorate over the holidays. It is nice to be able to KNOW that my efforts are making a difference; I'll continue trying to improve my discipline!

Plans for the day: Finish packing up the Xmas decor.
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Edited by: KOSHIE1 at: 1/10/2020 (17:37)
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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/10/20 8:51 A

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I did a Google search on your plants : Nice

The Turkey Carcass Refrigerator dish : Very Nice

The pain at the right temple : HUGE concern
Please take this very seriously, my kawan. If your brother says that you should see a neurologist, then please go see a neurologist.

And please keep me posted.

Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/9/20 7:43 P

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Yes, I have amaryllis, poinsettia, vinca, orchid, plectrantha, hybiscus, foxtail grass, and heliotrope in bloom right now. Of course, the major effect is merely GREEN, but I do enjoy the blossoms.

I indulged my creativity last night with my Turkey Carcass Refrigerator Soup. No greens went into my soup. With the exception of some leftover mashed beans to thicken the stock, only white, yellow, orange red, and a bit of purple ingredients went into my soup. Then I drizzled each serving with a swirl of heavy cream. And it was REALLY pretty and really delicious!

For the last 4 days and nights, I've had randomly occurring stabbing searing intense pain attacking my right temple for 10-30 seconds at a time. It was happening mostly at night, and very little during midday. But even so, maybe 40-50 times every 24 hours. No other symptom! I finally last night called my brother who diagnosed an overstimulated nerve and advised that I should see a neurologist since it was unlikely to go away on its own but rather to get worse. And told me not to worry since there were many potential treatments. I went to bed resolved to call in the morning..... But apparently, just TALKING to a doctor (brother) was enough to scare this pain into remission.... I haven't had a single recurrence since I spoke to him! emoticon
I'm gonna wait through tonight to see if the pain recurs -- I promised to call my brother to give him an update.... and then, I'll either call the neuro and/or call my brother! either way, even just having this last 20 hours pain-free has been such a relief! emoticon emoticon

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/8/20 6:25 A

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Busier than busy. That's how it seems, my dear kawan. You are the only one trying to keep everything organised and in order for the next day.....

The surviving plants appear to be the ones giving you the greatest amount of happiness. As always, do what you can and it's okay to let some things slip.

And as always, i will remind you to breathe, breathe , breathe and breathe again!!!

Beeeeeeeeeeg emoticon , Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/7/20 8:17 P

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"Post-Christmas" is just as busy as "Pre-Xmas." All the decorations must be taken down, wrapped, boxed, and put away. That alone takes 3 days. The tree must go out. And everything you neglected to do during Xmas because you were so busy with holiday doings must now be done. I neglected the laundry and my plants. The fridge is stuffed with little bits of leftovers that I must creatively use up. I've been busy, my kawan, very busy. emoticon
And last night, MM had a couple of friends over to listen to music. Beforehand, he required a lot of housecleaning to be sped up. emoticon emoticon While they didn't need "dinner" they did need "refreshments" so I made a big antipasti platter -- and I was so busy with housecleaning and fixing the antipasti that DD and I went without dinner. We just ate the leftovers after they left at 10 p.m., rather than wrap them up and put them way in a fridge that is simply too full!
I'm afraid it is time to make "Refrigerator Soup!"

The rest of the Xmas cleaning must wait; today DD and I spent 4 hours in the sunroom pruning, repotting, watering, cleaning..... Some plants didn't make it through 2 weeks of neglect, but the tomato plant loved it and rewarded us with some fresh red tomatoes! And I am further rewarded with the fresh, clean, moist air and lush greenery that my plants provide when they are well-tended. emoticon

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/7/20 6:40 A

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Hope you are keeping well my kawan.

Hope the year has been treating you well so far. Take care.... emoticon

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/5/20 9:24 A

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I am in total empathy with you on both children and your kind, concerned heart is coming through again and yes, something must be done now. Some intervention is absolutely necessary. And I am in agreement with you on everything except for the writing of the letter - stepson will be antagonistic towards you and so will MM.....and life is tough enough without your concern backfiring at this juncture!

Dhivia is recovering well from her tendon surgery and work starts again for her tomorrow. So, fingers crossed!
Thank you for asking.

Have an enjoyable Sunday and take care of you!

Beeeeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/4/20 7:25 P

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I think it wonderful that Moskito varies his routine.... How long a break do you have? Have you no access to continue doing at least some of your routines during break (other than running)?

We don't provide baby-sitting. Stepson's family lives far away. I think stepson is close to MM; he certainly doesn't HAVE to come visit us every other Xmas for 2 weeks!
I asked plainly what his parental philosophy was... I don't recall his words but pretty much it is to allow maximum freedom for them to grow and teach themselves. This sounds good; but.... young children NEED to be protected and taught how to fit in to society. If DGS doesn't blow his top at his little sister's provocations, then I'm sure some other little boy WILL. Girls are not boys. Not being taught to BEHAVE is dangerous for other reasons as well since she will have difficulty fitting in and making friends. Cleaning the guest room, we found snot smeared on the windows. emoticon Really. Maximum freedom? What do you EXPECT a 5-year-old to teach herself?!!! emoticon
I am shocked also because Stepson has had major difficulty his entire marriage. (As I said, DDIL is difficult.) EVERYBODY thinks she's difficult! Deliberately provocative. Sound familiar? Sound like a 5-year-old girl might be aping her mom? MM happened to comment he watched DGD run through a whole series of negative expressions that her mother makes..... I guess Stepson "can't see the forest for the trees" -- that he sees his daughter for who he wants her to be (an individual) rather than as a product of her upbringing. And yeah, failing-to-parent is a type of parenting style!
I really feel the need to somehow create a very carefully worded letter to my stepson warning him of the stress I see in his son regarding his sister, and telling him somehow that a parenting style that doesn't include teaching their daughter restraint from acting provocatively (snot on windows) is probably not the best style for their daughter. Yet I think there is no letter I could write on this topic that would be well-received. Still, I ache for this little boy who has already received therapy for anxiety; and I ache for this little girl knowing how she will be received by her classmates and then she'll act out (provocatively) and things will just spiral down.... emoticon

How is Dhivia?

Edited by: KOSHIE1 at: 1/4/2020 (19:26)
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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
1/3/20 5:50 A

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Koshie, surprisingly, I have been managing well. Quite well, under the circumstances. However, I will still be looking for a permanent solution.

I find that there's a difference in the behaviour of children towards their parents who regularly baby-sit their children (grandchildren) and those who don't babysit at all.
I also find a difference n behavior between young parents who enjoy a close relationship with their own parents and those who don't.
There used to be a difference between Asian and non-Asian parents towards the role of grandparents....much less difference now, because many Asian parents these days have very non-traditional views of their elders!
And there is also a difference in treatment for the first-born (very anxious parents!) and treatment with subsequent children.

You, for no fault of your own, are suffering the consequences of the behavioural patterns shown by your stepson. I wonder if he is really close to his own father....and if he isn't, then I am not surprised if he thinks that your gentle handling of his son is tantamount to you and his dad belittling his parental skills, in one way or another.
In this sort of situation, both the parents of your DGS and your DGD will face a tough time when the young 'uns become teenagers!!
His parents have chosen to ignore your DGD's behaviour, probably on the basis that she's way younger than her brother.....big mistake!
emoticon

Anyway, I have started on a new programme with Moskito (he changes the programme on a quarterly basis) and I will be leaving soon to nurse an aching butt and painful hamstrings. It will take another 2 weeks of exercise for me to get by without much pain!!!

Have a great TGIF and I hope the weather stays kind to you.

Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema




KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
1/2/20 6:08 P

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emoticon In the meantime, find a quick, casual eatery! emoticon

Christmas and New Years has been a full time. My DIL is difficult. My step-son is defensive. The DGD is provocative -- she tries to elicit anger from all of us by SO much of what she does -- at all of 5 years of age(!); and DGS (10) has improved his behavior greatly from past visits, but displays a large amount of anxiety. We ALL watched his sister provoke him repeatedly 2 nights ago while both parents did nothing to intervene. To my surprise, he kept his temper and did not lash out; but he was reduced to dispair and almost to tears. And neither parent acknowledged this. At least, this is how I interpret what I see.
Puzzlingly, yesterday, when DGD was provoking anger with someone else, I began to gently pull her away from the situation toward her father, who had called for her to "come." My normally placid step-son became momentarily enraged with me, telling me she was "just 5 years old!" I clearly really don't understand his parenting philosophy!
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Edited by: KOSHIE1 at: 1/2/2020 (18:09)
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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
12/30/19 4:16 A

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Hi Koshie. It is an age old story. You're right about that one.

It's true that anyone in power would not concern themselves about such problems - and of course, a Malaysian will not be able to exert any pressure on a lawmaker in the Philippines to do anything for her. My hands are completely tied and she has to bear the brunt of trusting the father of her unborn baby. One hopes he will do the right thing but one is also realistic at our age about the likelihood of this ever happening.

DeMon has no helper - he can't afford any. I passed the word around the moment I received Rosa's message. It was very obvious that there was nothing we could do for her and I had to start putting in the mechanism to get a replacement as soon as possible.
I work full-time and there is no way, at the end of a busy day, that I can return home and whip up a meal for myself. I have no issues during weekends but not during weekdays.

I will be speaking to some people soon and I will keep you posted. In the words of Gloria Gaynor...I will survive....I think....of course, I will!!!
emoticon

Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
12/29/19 4:10 P

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Sigh. This is an age-old story... and always, the woman is the powerless one; and always the children are hurt. And doesn't Rosa already have a son left behind with relatives while she works abroad? Yes, this is very, very sad. I am sad this has happened to her -- and to you. I know you have cared for Rosa for a long time, and you share her distress.
And you're the only one who might be able to help -- IF you know someone who knows someone (preferably in the government) who might be able to bring pressure to bear on the young man to actually support his child, and IF you can pull those strings..... But it would be very rare indeed to even have a man in power who cared about such problems!

As to finding another helper, perhaps you could poach your former helper from DeMon? Or perhaps she would know someone looking to make a change? Or maybe your friends who were caregivers to the pastor who died would know of someone reliable?

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
12/29/19 4:48 A

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Hi Koshie.
I realise that many people these days don't really get to enjoy home-cooked meals on a regular basis. And when a meal is laid out for them, almost everyone, even the nightmare complainer, feel grateful towards the host/chef that they ignore things like the lack of a drink.
Most people who come over to my house for lunch and dinner, usually drink water.

As for the burnt fat and protein...I had to laugh...I have done that before and I just had to laugh. It was not funny at the moment it took place....but many days later, it sure was.....

My Rosa, who left last week, just told me today, very tearfully, that she's pregnant. She had a boyfriend for the last one year and I am not mad about that - I am just perplexed that she and the boy did not use any protection. She tells me that the boyfriend has promised to support her and the baby....and she believes him!!
The rules in Malaysia are very strict for foreign workers who take up employment as domestic help. If they get pregnant, they have to return home.

She wants to come back and continue working for me but under the current circumstances, this can be challenging. So, I have to look for other alternatives to resolve my situation.
This is really sad - after 7 years! I have always known her to be sweet and hardworking but she is not exactly the brightest spark out there! And she has been taken for a ride and I feel it's not a good idea to tell her this when she's pregnant. Well.....

I need a bit of time to resolve this issue. Let's hope I can do this before the new year starts and my work piles up!

Fingers Crossed all the way! emoticon

Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
12/28/19 11:13 A

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I loved that movie! And I like that quote! And of course Xmas was just fine even though there were things that didn't get done. I never did find all my decorations. So I switched things around and used what I had and made it look nice anyway. I finished my decorating (the 3 tabletops for dinner) right before the rest of the family arrived Xmas noon! My SIL put the silverware on the table. I forgot totally about anything to drink -- so there was that much less for me to wash afterwards -- and those that were thirsty got themselves water and used disposable cups and no one complained (...perhaps because I did look THAT exhausted!).

That evening (Xmas), I put the turkey carcass in the pot to simmer up a nice broth for soup for the next day. And I forgot about it. The next morning (and still 4 days later!), the house reeks of burnt fat and protein... Chagrin. Make that Mortification! The first 2 days (rather warm weather for this time of year) I threw open the doors and windows to air things out and of course that took care of the worst of it, but.... these last 2 days I've just been burning candles throughout the main floor of the house. This morning, it is lots better. But now, I've got to get MM to swear that he will monitor the candles if I light them downstairs -- he spends most of his time there -- because the burnt stink sank down there too!

Our son/stepson's family came to spend about 2 weeks with us... but they came sick! Go figure that one out! emoticon SO rather than go out and do things, we are sitting around the house, taking it easy. This was FINE with me on Xmas and the day after -- I was utterly exhausted! I actually napped during each of those 2 days - that's how tired I was! But I'm actually feeling better now -- still coughing, but lots less tired -- and I feel guilty that we are just sitting around the house. I feel really bad for the kids' sakes. Especially, the GS is 10 (and kids that age are just bursting with energy) but he is behaving himself really well.

And the cold front finally moved in and it IS cold and snowing right now. We've got just a few inches accumulation. Maybe later it will be enough to drag out the sled I just bought for their visit and give it a try. We do have a steep driveway! Sadly, that is the only place nearby we could use. The mountainside is simply too rocky.

Well, now everyone else is rousing from bed, and I must go and pretend to be full of energy and make breakfast and figure out something to do for the kids sakes.


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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
12/24/19 10:07 A

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Ooooops......breathe my kawan!

Eventually, everything will pan out!

Merry Christmas Eve Koshie....all will be well in the end; if it's not well, it's not the end (quote from "Best Exotic Marigold Hotel"

Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
12/23/19 10:17 P

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...and prepare the OTHER guest room as well...
The house is not fully decorated and some guests have arrived. MM could not decide if we were waiting for the rest of the guests to arrive (for reasons unknown, it seems we couldn't simply CALL to find out their estimated time of arrival!) or if we were going out to eat or if I was cooking at home... or we'd go pick up a pizza, or just have sandwiches..... and we waited for an hour before I suggested again that we CALL for an ETA -- and ask if they ate on the road. And FINALLY I got THAT info and just said I'll pull something together quickly because we are hungry NOW... And we just ate some hot sandwiches with a side salad.
And I'm just going to shove gifts into a stocking and be done tonight. I need rest. I'll finish decorating tomorrow. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
12/22/19 5:37 A

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Okay....I won't get in your way today, my kawan....

Just remember if everything does not get done exactly the way you wanted, it's okay. It will still turn out enjoyable and memorable.....

And breathe....just breathe....all will be well, Koshie.

Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
12/21/19 11:46 A

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A busy day today. I must buy a turkey or 2, hopefully fresh if available. I must decorate the tree. ....and make a trip to the storage unit to find the decorations. In any case, I must decorate the house somehow. And I have empty boxes and boxes and BOXES to store temporarily until Xmas is over.... and I must prepare the guest room. And find time to wrap the last few gifts that must be wrapped. on top of everything else "normal" that must be done. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
12/21/19 9:24 A

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emoticon emoticon

Classic case of when it rains, it really pours for you. It's hard enough not to be able to find your most important decorations but to have the restaurant screw up the reservation and the half the ladies mess up by not responding and not turning up....who would not be miffed!

At least the foot is giving you good news....you did mention that you could wear low heels again. We were concerned about the thumb. And that was followed by Ginger wanting to be your perpetual manicurist....and that healed too.
And when the phalanges all healed, the cough made a return and at the end of our last conversation, you were going to check with your brothers and get their opinion about your condition.

Take care my kawan....and keep me posted. Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
12/20/19 8:12 P

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Did I mention that I can't find my biggest box of Xmas decorations? emoticon 17 people coming over for Xmas Day, and I can't find most of my most important decorations! emoticon Having searched the house repeatedly for 5 days and opened every box that I have packed up during this past year (in prep for selling and moving out), the only thing left is to go to our storage unit. Maybe I took it there last year?

The restaurant at which I had reserved party space for our annual exercise class luncheon lost (?) my reservation. I had to reschedule it for 3 hours later. emoticon That was yesterday. Fully half the ladies who had said they'd come at 11 a.m. never bothered to respond to either of my e-mail alerts about the time change -- and none of them came to the party either. I don't know if they couldn't make it; got lost; came at the wrong time....
So there we were, all 10 of us, sitting at a table for 20.... in the middle of the restaurant dining area.... I was majorly miffed. emoticon Two days before, I had asked to speak to the manager about the lost reservation -- and had SPECIFICALLY asked if we couldn't be seated at the ORIGINAL time in the main dining area rather than their "party room". Oh, NO -- absolutely not, that simply wasn't possible! Yet there we were -- in the main dining area -- with only half the original party members! The food was very good; but I am never going to schedule a party there again!

I don't remember if I mentioned it, but my foot is fine except for the plantar fascitis. My toes are fine. It took a full year of healing, but I can finally wear heels again. Well, the low heels! The high heels no longer fit my pain tolerance! In another 6 months, the plantar fascitis should be gone, and then we shall see if I have to get rid of all my high-heeled shoes or not!
(I was hoping for just a few more years of being able to kick up my heels... emoticon )

The only thing that makes sense at this point is that I have developed an allergy or possibly a sensitivity to cold. I do cough more outside or upon exertion. And this diagnosis fits with the coughing and postnasal drip. The one brother I called agrees. So I'm gonna try taking an anti-histamine and a cough syrup. The antihistamine should alleviate the post nasal drip and part of the reason for coughing, and the cough syrup should hopefully totally relieve the coughing and allow my "irritated cough center" to CALM DOWN! I'll keep you updated!

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
12/20/19 8:32 A

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It's Friday, Koshie,....4 more days to Christmas.

Hope you're on the road to recovery, my kawan.... emoticon emoticon

Beeeeeeeg Hugs,
Prema

PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
12/19/19 4:23 A

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Hi Koshie.

One of the perks of being a CEO is that I get driven around and I do not have to bother finding parking space every time I go for a meeting. When I finally retire. I will be driving 7 days a week instead of 2 as I do right now. My driver is an employee of the company and he has been driving me for almost 10 years now.

Rosa leaves tomorrow for the Philippines. And she returns to Malaysia on the 9th of January. That's about 3 weeks and since I will still be working during that period, there will be minimal cooking at home.....unfortunately!!

Of very great concern is that persistent cough of yours, my kawan. I honestly think you should call your brothers and confirm with them on the measures you should take, including a full check up. I really hope you recover before Christmas - no fun being down during a festive break! Please keep me posted about their advice to you. Okay??

Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
12/18/19 7:58 P

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That is such a SWEET story! You should visit more often! It sounded like a perfect occasion to forget portion control! Why is it that food cooked by someone else WITH LOVE always tastes better than anything you yourself can cook?

How is it that you have a driver? You obviously own a car. Is this a normal thing there? Is he a personal employee? I thought Rosa was gone to the Philippines.

I went to exercise Monday and today. I'm not able to make it all the way through without resting, but at least I went. I've been concerned that the coughing might indicate a recurrence of pneumonia, despite the fact that I am not coughing up any white foamy stuff. So I tested my lungs. I have excellent capacity! It definitely isn't pneumonia. Or bronchitis. or flu. or cold. or sinus infection. Post nasal drip for sure, but ALL. The. Coughing? And the fatigue? The sensation that I just can't get enough air? If I'm coughing so much I have to inhale deeply -- so you'd THINK I'm getting enough oxygen.... But is lack of oxygen a source of my fatigue? I wish I knew the answers. I should call my brothers....

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
12/17/19 5:50 A

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Hi Koshie....I was hoping...just hoping....when i started reading your posting that you were actually getting better. But the bug is still with you! Oh dear!! emoticon

As for the phone ringing, no lottery...just the maintenance guy informing that they would sort out the plumbing problem today!
And definitely, no cure ever for Cyber Bug Flu!
And right once again - at least work is under better control....

Yesterday, I had dinner with Aunty Sarah, Uncle Ghaus, and their 3 daughters (including my friend who has cancer - she flew in from England to be with her parents for a few days) and 2 grandchildren who also wanted to join us for dinner. I decided to cook them some Malaysian dishes for dinner - and Rosa who also adores both these people - asked me if it was okay if she prepared the dishes instead of me. So, she ended up preparing everything and my driver collected these and took it over to their home. I swear both Rosa and my driver are in love with this couple!! emoticon

We had lots of food - their food, my food and everything was demolished at the end of the meal...
Portion control - goodbye until the New Year again!

Take care of yourself, my kawan. Beeeeeeeeeg Hugs

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
12/16/19 4:33 P

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I'm so pleased you found out your tires were bald the EASY way!

And thank goodness you knew how to turn off the water mains to your apartment. How terrible if you hadn't found it and the floor did collapse!

But you truly and deeply have my sympathies for having been struck down by the villanous Cyber Bug. So frustrating! emoticon So aggravating! And SUCH a good reason to go directly to bed! I wouldn't want to stay awake awaiting yet another calamity! emoticon

I hope you awakened to the sound of the telephone ringing -- it being the maintenance man seeking to come and fix things. ....or the sound of the phone ringing to inform you that you won the lottery and now have no "no-money blues" from budgeting for bald tires unexpectedly. ....or the phone ringing to tell you about a real cure for the Cyber Bug Flu -- no, no one would believe THA-AT!

Just go to work and bask in things being under control SOMEwhere!

Me? still struggling with my cough and exhaustion.... emoticon

Hugggggs from the far end of a 10-foot pole!
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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
12/15/19 10:00 A

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Friday the 13th happened to me today.

When I was out with Rosa buying provisions, the dashboard indicated that my tires were having some issues...thank goodness, I was not too far from the chap who usually handles this for me and discovered that all my tires were almost bald!
emoticon

The it rains all day. And the master bathroom suddenly starts leaking at 6pm. There is no maintenance guy around at all on a Sunday night. Mains turned off as are the rest of the plumbing....we do not want the roof of the bathroom to collapse.
emoticon emoticon

And I lost the rest of my post to our favorite bug! Time to go to bed!

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema


KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
12/14/19 3:02 P

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well, I am still coughing. I just backed out of attending the cookie-exchange party tomorrow. emoticon

Reminiscing with friends? Nice! The ONLY day? So I am not the only one who finds herself busier and busier as we get older! Of course, if that was totally true, you'd be the age of Methusalah! I do envy you. emoticon

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
12/14/19 4:42 A

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Good to know that all you needed was a few nights of very good sleep to get going again.

I am getting ready to go out for dinner with my pals who, together with me, were the caregivers of the late Rev Peter Young and his wife, Betty. This was the only day we were able to sync our schedules. Looking forward to seeing them again.

Take care my kawan. So happy to hear that all is well with you again.

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
12/13/19 4:47 P

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Wrapping gifts -- and enough cleaning to avert MM's disapproval upon his return today.

I think I've been on the mend these last 2 days. I have more energy and less coughing. I've let DD do the cooking. I slept more than 8 hours FOUR days this week -- and it isn't Sunday yet!

While I was in Aspen, all we did was relax. I highly recommend it! That is really special that Rosa tells you she'll miss you!

Closer to giving hugs! .... emoticon

Edited by: KOSHIE1 at: 12/13/2019 (16:49)
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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
12/13/19 5:54 A

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I must say that your quirky sense of humor has not been impacted at all! emoticon emoticon emoticon

You are definitely getting better. I am also glad that you and DD managed to get a 12-day respite from MM....he must be quite far away to be enjoying golfing weather!

I have a lot of work to do before I complete all my critical tasks by next Thursday. I am taking off from 20th to 25th December to be with my BFF and to just relax, doing nothing major.
My helper, Rosa, leaves on the 20th for the Philippines to enjoy Christmas with her family and she returns to Malaysia on the 9th of January. She will be sorely missed as she has become quite indispensable to me....the sweetheart that she is, she told me the other day that she would be missing me lots!

Take care, keep the cooking simple and enjoy the day wrapping gifts.

Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema



KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
12/12/19 10:32 A

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You look silly!
I hate to see you looking cross!
emoticon
MM has been gone on a golfing vacation for 12 days (yay) and will return tomorrow. You know how when you're sick you tend to be messy? Let the little things slide? So yesterday, DD (she's sick also) and I spent the day cleaning and putting things away, with frequent rest periods. I got SO tired! emoticon I went to bed at 9 and slept 10 hours! emoticon I actually feel pretty good this morning, considering!

I'll be spending the day wrapping gifts, and/or possibly trying to cook things in advance.

I'd hug you back but I'm afraid I might pass on germs! emoticon

Edited by: KOSHIE1 at: 12/12/2019 (10:33)
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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
12/11/19 9:02 A

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Oh dear!

Here's a prayer for you my friend....


....Dear God, she had a great time...can you make sure she gets way better, way ahead of Christmas so that she, like the rest of humanity, can celebrate Yuletide with good cheer and happiness!!!

Keeping fingers, toes and eyes crossed for you. emoticon

Beeeeeeeg emoticon , Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
12/11/19 12:18 A

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emoticon emoticon

still emoticon

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
12/10/19 3:34 A

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emoticon that you're feeling poorly
emoticon that your doctor is not quite up to the mark
emoticon that you can only change your doctor next year when the new insurance takes effect.

What a bummer!

In the mean time, a steaming bowl of hot chicken soup infused with ginger strips, a cinnamon stick and a star anise. These 3 items must be placed in the soup as it is cooking.

Only write back when you feel better.

Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
12/9/19 1:56 P

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emoticon message received! Thank you my kawan for a welcome that put a smile on my face!

Unfortunately, I picked up a virus somewhere during the last month which over time has finally "blossomed" into a too-frequent hard cough, post-nasal drip, and a constant low-grade headache. I tried very hard not to pass it on, but now that I am home, I'm giving in to feeling poorly. It is sapping my energy most effectively! emoticon

I just don't h ave the energy for a long message. And probably won't for awhile -- this has been a long drag, getting heavier over time. I know it isn't a cold, bronchitis, flu, sore throat, or pneumonia; and I know my present medical doctor isn't up to the task of diagnosis nor effective treatment. So I'm waiting until the New Year when my insurance changes take effect so that I can see someone else. Sigh.

emoticon

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
12/8/19 4:15 A

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emoticon 5 emoticon emoticon emoticon 5

I have the biggest smiles for you today.....Your sister sounds exactly like you! And I love the way she decided to make sure the main cooks and the ones who worked the hardest deserved the break at the end of it all.

You sound refreshed and rejuvenated.....and that's the best of all. How wonderful that you are ending the year with such a huge bang!!

Welcome home, my kawan. Beeeeeeeeg Hugs,

PS : could not find a "High 5"....that was the best I could do!!

Edited by: PREMAMEHROTRA at: 12/8/2019 (04:15)
KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
12/7/19 2:37 P

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It seems like forever. All the planning, gift buying, wrapping, and packing in preparation to going to my sister's home back in Texas to see all my sibs and Mom for Thanksgiving. The cooking of a few holiday dishes to bring. The 2 day drive there AND then again to get back home. And of course, the glorious FIVE days we spent there with family! (I don't know how Sis withstood the circus in her home for 5 days, much less how she kept 40 vistitors fed all the time!) So much excitement to be there with everyone! Laughing and hugging; just SEEing them! And fortunately, NO politics!
WE used to be the babies. Now we're the grown-ups, the ELDERS(!), (but Mom is almost the last of her generation left); and all our kids are grown. The first great-grandbaby was celebrated and loved on by all. The second great-grandbaby is on its way!

And of course it was exhausting. As women, we did most of the cooking and cleaning.... SO... Sis decided we women -- just her, Mom, and 2 sisters -- were going to have the chance to get away from it all and relax in Aspen, her treat, a few days after Thanksgiving. This corresponded to the day immediately following the long drive back home to Colorado for me -- but how could I pass THAT offer up? So it was get home and repack the suitcase and fall asleep and then hop back into the car the next morning and spend 4 hours drivng to Aspen all in short order... (whew!) to spend 4 days doing NOTHING. Glorious nothing but relaxing. Playing cards and dominos. Eating out every meal. Drinking wine at our leisure. And long talks. We are talking "the perfect women's weekend" here! I've never had a vacation like that before -- one with the specific object of doing NOTHING. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!

I got home yesterday, exhausted from crazy speeding traffic on the twisty mountain highway of I-70. And today is a glorious Saturday, awaiting me -- a fully rested me!

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
12/3/19 6:12 A

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emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon ... emoticon

You sound good. In fact, you sound better than good. Very glad for you.

Have a safe trip and hope you feel rejuvenated at the end of tomorrow's trip.

God Bless and Beeeeeeeeg Hugs,
Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
12/2/19 10:37 P

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older definitely! Better? at times....
travelled 2000 miles. A fabulous family holiday! Home now and tired! emoticon
AND I leave again for 5 days tomorrow morning!

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
11/25/19 9:55 A

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This is truly amazing.

Late last year and sometime this year, time seemed to have taken charge of your life and left you breathless.
This time around, you are in full control of time.

Am very happy for you. Have a safe trip, my kawan. I look forward to hearing from you when you are able to do so.

emoticon ... beeeeg emoticon , Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
11/24/19 9:22 P

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Okay, I've been working very hard these last few days getting everything ready... and I'm done. The gift are wrapped, the luggage is packed, the promised food has been made and frozen and packed, the plants are watered, the sunroom and kitchen cleaned and cleaned AGAIN, Ginger has received plenty of attention and her cage cleaned and a pet sitter has been trained.... Oh and I've freshly bathed, and washed and set my hair, and lotioned up my body where needed. Cars are gassed; phones are charged; dishes are washed and the trash has been taken out! All laundry has been washed. I'm ready to go! (I can't think of anything I'm missing...) And it is only 7:15 p.m. and I leave tomorrow at noon! emoticon emoticon emoticon
Well, this is a first! Me already ready! emoticon
Something will come up. It's bound to!
Meanwhile, I am going to go to bead early and emoticon

You won't hear from me except possibly very briefly for 2 weeks. emoticon

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
11/24/19 5:55 A

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Koshie, my kawan, despite the many challenges around me, I am totally and truly blessed.

On Thanksgiving, I have many things in life to be thankful for including the friendship of a lady whose manicurist/pedicurist.....who lives in a cage...and has an optimistic personality like her favourite person ever!!

Take care and God Bless, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
11/23/19 11:14 A

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You are a blessed woman!
emoticon

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
11/23/19 6:44 A

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emoticon and more emoticon . And she's still staying cool!

Here's a pic of the birthday dinner that Natalie (Vishal's girlfriend - standing right behind him in the pic) and I organised. 4 other friends could not make it for dinner because of other commitments and met up later for drinks...



Have a good Saturday and Happy prepping. Beeeeeg Hugs, Prema

Edited by: PREMAMEHROTRA at: 11/23/2019 (06:44)
KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
11/23/19 1:15 A

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I like your social calendar!

I am planning my exercise group's annual Christmas party. So far, easy peasy!

time crunch begins NOW. must get everything done at once in order to leave Monday morning for Houston.... emoticon

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
11/21/19 8:19 A

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Wonderful, my kawan!!

Vishal is having dinner with his father tonight and I reminded him to stay calm and not to get into an argument with his father.
Tomorrow, he turns 28 and I am hosting a dinner for him, his pals and Rosa at this Chinese restaurant they all like because the roast pork is fabulous.

Dhivia removed her stitches today and she went through it like a trooper. I will be calling her tomorrow to find out exactly what the doctor said and all that she needs to do for the next couple of months.
Keeping my fingers crossed that she will have no more pain hurdles to cross!

Here's to you having better and better days, Koshie. Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
11/20/19 7:23 P

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....just another nice nice day!
to be followed by another nice day since it shall snow tonight and we'll be hunkering down around the fireplace!
emoticon emoticon

BBBbeeeegg Hugs!

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
11/20/19 3:36 A

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Hi Koshie.

I am also sore today as Moskito upped the weights and the number of repetitions. And our resting interval between sets has also been reduced, so abs hurt, shoulders are on fire and I have lost all feelings in my upper arms (slight exaggeration, but very slight only!)

The classes are going well, Thanksgiving is taking place the way you like it, a relaxing break with mum and sisters will be happening and you are handling Christmas way ahead of time.

Don't be suspicious. Just give thanks to God. Each and every day. And enjoy yourself.

Beeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
11/19/19 10:16 P

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It must be painful to know how your sister is feeling. Your mum? Well, she IS clueless about all humans, so her not knowing what's going on with her daughter is par for the course.

I am sore today! We worked our core on Monday, and OH-my-aching-ribs!
There were 10 people at class! I haven't had that many show up in a long time! Felt good! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
I lead again tomorrow and I don't know how top what I did!

I completed the wrapping of gifts necessary to take along when I leave for my sister's home to celebrate big-family style Thanksgiving. YAY! emoticon This will save me a lot of expense and hassle avoiding shipping these gifts, and it just feels good to be ahead of the game this time of year!
And my sister Ritie invited my Mom, my other sister, and me to come with her to Aspen for 5 days. Apparently there's no plan other than to relax and enjoy each other's company -- and I'm definitely ready for that! Unfortunately I'll have to drive there, but it is just 4-hours away, so that should be just fine!

I don't know what's going on -- everything is going swell and smooth sailing and peaceful and easy.... should I be suspicious? emoticon

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
11/19/19 5:38 A

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Doing well, my kawan.

My DD is doing much better than before - she's more calm about her injury and only has her down periods occasionally. She was down quite a bit just before and just after the surgery, but now, I can see her trying hard to dig deep for herself.
It has been almost 11 months since her painful journey started and I must commend her for trying to be cheerful about it. Throughout this period, her boyfriend has been the most supportive person I have ever seen in my life. Kudos to both of them!

The one who is a worry is my sister. Her blood pressure is up and it's clear she is unable to manage both her adopted children. The younger of the two children, a girl of 15, is verbally and physically abusive to her mum - and my sister refuses to do anything about it, apart from wanting to return the child to her biological mum! Which is kinda crazy since the mum has not seen her biological daughter from the start. My sister is also not quite lucid in her thinking process when she speaks and is therefore quite confusing, according to my cousins.
My mum has no clue about what's going on!

Everything else is going okay, my kawan. Thank you for asking.

You take care and have a good one, today. Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
11/18/19 10:36 P

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How are things going with YOU?

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
11/18/19 5:27 A

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How wonderful that you are not feeling stressed up. One huge step in the right direction towards your health maintenance. Well done, Koshie. You should be very,very proud of yourself.

I have Vishal's girlfriend and his old schoolmate coming over for dinner. So I am planning to scoot off home and finish the cooking with my Rosa.

You take care of you and a big HI to your very special manicurist!

Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
11/17/19 11:11 P

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busy yes, but not stressed (YET!)! This is the first time ever that I've had time or been organized enough in advance to have the presents to wrap AND the time to wrap them!
emoticon


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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
11/17/19 2:59 A

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You are going to be one very busy gal, my kawan.
Buying and wrapping gifts, getting the house ready and cooking.....WOW!! Make sure you take care yourself, get the others to do their part, and just HAVE FUN prepping!

Have a great Sunday. Beeeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
11/16/19 1:34 P

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Yes!
And I'm getting a head start on my gift wrapping because I can hand deliver them on Thanksgiving.

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
11/16/19 6:49 A

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Koshie, you are going to have a Thanksgiving and a Christmas exactly the way you wanted! Now, isn't that amazing...isn't God amazing...you get 2 wishes in the span of 2 months!

My dear kawan, it says a lot about you when others choose to WANT to come and spend Christmas with you, including the ex-wife. There are people out there who enjoy your company and appreciate all your efforts...and I hope this year, everyone demonstrates the appreciation by pitching in and making everything even better.
What a wonderful ending in 2019 for you!
And of course, come January.....I hope the glad tidings continue for you.

This is a wonderful posting today. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
11/15/19 9:11 P

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The fires ARE scary. It is amazing how far smoke from big fires can travel!

I DID shop on 11/11 (one store) and I am pleased that I found some nice things there that I can give as gifts. I've never gone out on Black Friday, nor shopped Cyber Saturday either. I've always preferred the family time.
THIS Thanksgiving will be more family --- we are traveling to my sister's home and will be gone for a week. She invited everyone and most of us are coming -- so she wrangled a "family discount" at a nearby hotel. I'm looking forward to seeing my siblings!

Also, it turns out we will be hosting a large family (MM's) Christmas also. I love large family holidays! It's just the 3 of us who live here, but we will be having 14 family members over. We've got the most space for gatherings. This will even include Ken's ex-wife! A bit of an odd situation, but I like her. And she actually hangs out with me while here!

Anyway, while the last few steps of this event were shaping up (first, one step-son asks if he can bring his family for Xmas, then the ex asked if she could come since all her children will be here, then Ken's sister and BIL are coming up to see their daughters who live nearby... and well, we might as well have them over too(!) AND their childrens' families...), I was told that my great-niece's response upon finding out about where she'd be spending Xmas was "Yippee! We're gonna have a NORMAL Christmas!" Thank goodness, she said the "yippee!" part, because I wouldn't necessarily know how to take her comment otherwise! I do like to decorate the house as lavishly as I can for Christmases -- and abruptly, I finally feel my efforts are appreciated! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
It's the nicest compliment I've had in quite while!

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PREMAMEHROTRA Posts: 22,182
11/14/19 5:53 A

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Hi Koshie.

Dhivia lives in Melbourne and the fires happened in Sydney. Too far away for her to feel any effect. Thanks for asking.
My girlfriend who lives in Sydney sent me some pictures and it's really scary. I suppose it's pretty much like the fires that broke out in California.

Did you get your gift during the 11/11 sale? Or do you plan to do the Black Friday one and the Cyber Monday sale? I keep reading about just how crazy this period can be....
Exercising like a emoticon will help you stay absolutely emoticon to complete all the purchases you need.

Have a good one, my kawan. Beeeeeeeg Hugs, Prema

KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
11/13/19 8:56 P

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exercised like a emoticon

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KOSHIE1's Photo KOSHIE1 Posts: 17,384
11/12/19 7:08 P

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yeah, we got a lot of cold going on! emoticon

I read the fires in Austalia are fierce -- how's Dhivia?

I'm trying to prepare for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Monday, DD and I did a little shopping and I'm pleased to be able to say that I found what I believe will be a gift happily received by one of my DILs -- and she is a particularly tough one!

Otherwise with the cold, we are just hunkering down at home. Nothing of interest going on.

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