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WHITE-2's Photo WHITE-2 Posts: 435
5/14/18 3:39 A

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I'm so sorry for all the loss and the hard times you have been dealing with and are still facing.

I cannot really answer your question about coping with aging and loss.... My parents are both 89 years old and in a nursing home and I can relate a lot to your feelings, but I have no solution other than maybe try to be minful, I am following a mindfulness training now and that is doing me good.

With regard to overcoming bingeing, I wrote down the guidelines I got when I was in therapy for BED and posted them in a blog on a separate account, you can find them here:
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.a
sp?id=SIMP
LICITY%2DNOW


I agree that the very first thing to do is to begin to eat at set times. Decide how many meals and snacks you want to eat and on when you will eat them and then begin by trying as well as you can (this leaves room for falling down and getting up) to stick to the set times. If you feel like eating in between the set eating times, distract yourself and tell yourself you only need to wait until the next eating moment - in the beginning it's good to chose for 5 or 6 eating times (3 meals and 2 or 3 snacks) per day. This way you get used to not eating when it's not time to eat, and over time your body will adjust and get hungry 'on time'. This worked much better for me than 'intuitive eating'; waiting to get hungry before I ate as it confused me and my body was giving off crazy hunger signals.

I'd suggest to first practice this 'eating at set times' for 1 or 2 weeks - not restricting how much or what foods you eat, or at least not being very strict about that - before you then decide on what amounts you will eat of which foods. One plate of food per meal and half a small / breakfast plate or one third of a plate for a snack is a good rule of thumb. Be aware that I am talking about European sized plates! So they are smaller than in the US.
Add in sufficient veggies (at least 5 serving spoons, could be soup or salad with lunch), 3 fruits and 1 oz nuts per day.
You can also allow room for treats if you feel that will help you but again, decide on how often you will have a treat (in therapy we could have 3 treats per week, like for example an ice cream, a 100 gram bar of chocolate or 1 piece of cake) and what kind of treat (taking portion sizes into account).

It can be helpful to write down what you eat (not using a tracker and not counting calories as that can add to the obsession over food and weight), just jot in down in a notebook or use your cell phone.

Edited by: WHITE-2 at: 5/14/2018 (06:02)
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OHMEMEME's Photo OHMEMEME Posts: 979
5/13/18 10:07 P

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Welcome back to Spark. This is a good place to refocus on getting healthier in many areas of life. I am sorry for your loss and sadness. That is a lot to deal with.

My advice for stabilizing eating is to start by setting routine times to eat all meals and snacks if you need those. Do not deprive yourself of whole lot right now and just stabilize. Small steps...



A decision made about how much to weigh is a decision made on how to live. (KANOE) I have decided.


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BONNIEJEAN51's Photo BONNIEJEAN51 Posts: 190
5/13/18 3:23 P

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Last time I was on Spark was around 2014. I had lost 90 pounds. Then life got really bad and I regained 45 pounds. Mother died of lung cancer. Brother died of non Hodgkins lymphoma, father died, best friend hit by car and died and then my husband was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, an incurable blood cancer. In the past 18 months he has had surgery, radiation, chemo and a stem cell transplant. My cousin who is a best friend also has multiple myeloma. I've been trying to be strong and supportive but am just so tired of trying. No kids. Just hubby and me. I really want to get binge eating under control because I need to be healthy to take care of him. Right now he is doing ok so it's a good time to focus on me, but I'm just so tired of life. I could really use some positive, uplifting thoughts and ideas. How do people cope with aging and seeing so many loved ones die? I'm going to counseling so I have some support there. Thanks

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