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CALLY60's Photo CALLY60 Posts: 26
5/16/10 8:36 A

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I agree with Diane573, just talk to him about his behavior.

I too have a husband with Bipolar and when he gets mad, and cusses over some object that displeases him, then I just go into another room til I cannot hear him anymore.

You can even get in your car and drive around or go to a park for a few hours or visit people. The important thing is to take care of yourself.

Some years ago, when my husband went through heart bypass surgery, a friend told me to be careful and I did not know what she was talking about, but not long after my husband came home from hospital, he got agitated about the garden hose. He was in the garden trying to situate the water hose and I was suppose to turn it on located around the house, we did not know the hose had a kink in it and he was getting very mad at me for not turning it on and I yelled at him the water was turned on. I do not get mad easy and he started calling me names and I knew that I needed to make myself get mad so I did, and I took my anger out on him with words and headed to the house to go inside and by the time, I got to the steps to go inside, my anger words were not making any sense whats so ever, I just made myself too mad.
Starting out my mad words reflected on how much he put me through with after surgery problems.
So later on, he came to me and told me he was sorry he did not know what I went through after his surgery and hugged me and I forgave him. I had the upper hand again. My friend had warned me that he could be strong again after the surgery and to take care of myself in case he gets violent.
I told my friend about what I did and said and we had a good laugh about it.




Edited by: CALLY60 at: 5/16/2010 (08:53)
DIANE573 Posts: 24
5/15/10 6:51 P

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I am sympathetic to your problem. My husband is negative about my illness. He tells me I should control myself and talks to his friends about how difficult it is for him. this anger is very hard for me. I know you are crying out because you are so worried. Please keep in mind he cannot stop his behavior when mania has struck him. After a time has past and he is more stable you can talk about the consequences this has caused. By doing this you may not feel so desperate and he will feel more stable too. Please don't assign blame and anger. My husband does this and I don't know how much longer I can listen.

Edited by: DIANE573 at: 5/15/2010 (19:29)
BYTHEGRACEOGOD's Photo BYTHEGRACEOGOD Posts: 585
5/1/10 11:28 A

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Having bi-polar can be a volatile situation. Being manic a person thinks they can do all things and be all things. They feel like superman. When they come down and go the depressive mode they will almost feel suicidal. So I would walk on eggshells so to speak. If it doesn't get better, than plan an escape if possible. I hope this helps.

Catherine

Team leader for the Coordinated Harm Reduction team
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KERRYANN67's Photo KERRYANN67 Posts: 2,392
4/8/10 2:01 P

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HI all. My husband is being released from the hospital following a severe manic episode with psychotic components. He has only been there for five days or so this time, and he does seem much better when I talk to him on the phone. But he is still quite irritable. He has new meds added to his already 1500 mg Lithium, and appear to be helping a lot. However, I'm so angry and frustrated with him right now for the things he did while manic. I know it's not "his fault" but I feel like he created this tornado in our lives, and when I was having such pain and anxiety over it, he was just gone (at the hospital.) It made me deal with everything alone.

I suffer from a panic disorder and depression, but I was not prepared for bipolar. It is so different and so much worse, for him and for me.

I feel like I've done a lot of growing up since this happened and can rely on myself more. But the loving person I married just does not seem to be even slightly regretful that he hurt me so much. He's still just all excited to come home and wants to kiss me and sleep with me and be intimate. I feel more like hitting him and kicking him out of the house.

How do I move forward through this, everyone? You who have this disease may be better able to help me understand.

Remember that the little things we do each day matter.



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