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8/26/12 8:23 A

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Good Morning:

Yesterday I went through Vic's things in the downstairs bathroom. I couldn't believe what he had stashed there. Oh, well, more stuff to donate to the charity shops. The house got cleaned from top to bottom and that always makes me feel good. I've got to reset my goals, for though I love a clean house, I don't need to have the insides of the windows cleaned, all the knobs, phones, etc sanitized weekly, and so forth. I got some help and started on the garage. Didn't do too much but it was a start and that felt good. A friend took me to lunch and another will take me out today. That is good.

I guess this isn't exciting stuff, but getting it out of the way is progress. I WON'T leave my kids with this. When I die there will be precious little to worry about.

Sending hugs to you all.

Gail

Gail, Madison, WI USA
JET150's Photo JET150 Posts: 9,425
8/22/12 1:42 P

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I too am sorry to hear this is all so difficult Gail. Send me a SparkMail if you would like to know what to expect from WRS. I don't want to burden you with a lengthy email if you have already figured out that piece.
And I don't know, but maybe it would help your kids grieve if they could help with a little bit. They may need to take care of you a little.

Jeanette
Madison, Wisconsin


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EMILY-THE-GOOD's Photo EMILY-THE-GOOD Posts: 2,769
8/22/12 9:40 A

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Gail,
It is my hope for you that each day is a little better than the last.

*hugs*

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.
emilythegood.blogspot.com


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8/22/12 9:30 A

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Dearest Friends:

These past several days have been very difficult. I'm still numb and weepy, and I still strongly feel Vic's presence, especially when I look at pictures of him. I've been keeping to myself most of the time, except for the practical things I need to do which involve contact with others.

I'm overwhelmed with all the things I need to sell. I'll be taking a hit on the new car. I also have to sell a motorcycle and a 1995 Nissan both of which are in good repair and have no dents, scratches or rust. I've worked out an arrangement with a local bookseller and will be getting a small percent of their value, but he will be doing all the work selling them on line or off the shelf in his store. Of course, there is also the two pianos to sell. I don't even want to imagine the money I'll lose on that.

Yesterday was terrible. I went to the Social Security office to file for Vic's check. Since his income was greater than mine I'll be taking his SS and giving up mine. The SS computers at the local office were screwed up, and as a result they never called me to speak with a specialist . I finally said something after seeing others who arrived later than I were called to speak to a specialist. They asked if I had my marriage certificate. God only knows where it is. Before I meet with them I need to get an official copy from the city of NY. I could not process the instructions from the NY city website and will need to call them to find out what I must do. All this is too much for me. This afternoon I cried bitterly. Everyone has offered to help but at this stage there isn't too much they can do.

I keep telling myself I'll be all right, but it's really getting to me about how much is being lost on the sale of all the things I need to get rid of. I will not, under any circumstances, leave this mess to my kids. It's too great a burden. Also, after all I've been through, I will not let them care for me should I require round the clock or long term care. They have called me every day and would be only too happy to help me but I don't want to burden them and will only call for help on big things. My sil is taking care of selling the vehicles and for that I am so grateful.

I've not posted since Vic's death because there is not much good news to report. That being said, the funeral was very moving and things went very smoothly. I am so glad that is behind me, so glad.

Thank you for the condolences...they mean so much to me.

Sending you all many hugs,

Gail

Gail, Madison, WI USA
AHTRAP's Photo AHTRAP Posts: 1,447
8/20/12 8:02 P

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M sympathies, Gail. Thinking of you. And thinking I'll listen to classical music tonight, in Vic's honor.

-Partha

Michigan (Eastern Time Zone)

If it is to be, it is up to me.

There is no stronger drug than reality.

Have fun storming the castle!

Blog posts bit.ly/W1KAXC


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EMILY-THE-GOOD's Photo EMILY-THE-GOOD Posts: 2,769
8/20/12 6:58 A

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Gail,
I am so sorry that you lost Vic, but I am glad his suffering is over. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. emoticon

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.
emilythegood.blogspot.com


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8/20/12 5:52 A

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Good Morning:

As you all probably know by now if you've read my last blog, Victor passed away on Wednesday morning, 8/15. The last few days were very bad. He was having trouble breathing so I was giving him morphine and a relaxing medication first a couple of times a day and ultimately every hour on the hour 24/7. The last couple of days our daughter came to help and to be with her dad. The night before Vic died hospice sent a nurse to work a 12 hour shift so I could get some rest. Helena, I and some hospice staff were at his side when he died. For me it is both sad and a relief. It's been a long, hard journey, especially at the first year and the last year.

Thank you all so much for your kindness and comforting during this arduous journey. It would have been so much more difficult without you.

Gail

Gail, Madison, WI USA
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8/13/12 12:46 P

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emoticon

Gail, Madison, WI USA
JET150's Photo JET150 Posts: 9,425
8/5/12 8:41 P

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Very cool!

Jeanette
Madison, Wisconsin


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REALLADY99 Posts: 673
8/5/12 6:46 P

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They live about a half a block away which is great! He is so cute and has been a long time since I was able to hold one so little. Brings back memories of my own kids.

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JET150's Photo JET150 Posts: 9,425
8/5/12 6:20 P

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I am soooo jealous.
I never thought I would be old enough to want to be a grandma, but I most definitely am, and I most definitely want (but I don't tell my sons that).
Congratulations! Do they live close by?

Jeanette
Madison, Wisconsin


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REALLADY99 Posts: 673
8/5/12 6:17 P

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Gail, my thoughts and prayers are with you and Vic.

I am a grandmother for the first time. My grandson was born on July 30th. emoticon

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OTTER1344's Photo OTTER1344 SparkPoints: (0)
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8/5/12 9:39 A

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What a gorgeous day!! We are truly blessed here in the midwest this morning.

Gail, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

emoticon

We are what we repeatedly do. Therefore, excellence is not an act. It is a habit. ~ Aristotle


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JET150's Photo JET150 Posts: 9,425
8/5/12 8:27 A

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Love, prayers, and all good thoughts from me too Gail.

Jeanette
Madison, Wisconsin


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EMILY-THE-GOOD's Photo EMILY-THE-GOOD Posts: 2,769
8/5/12 7:38 A

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Sending lots of love and strength to you, Gail. Please let me know if there is something I can do.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.
emilythegood.blogspot.com


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HARPLUTE's Photo HARPLUTE SparkPoints: (83,604)
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8/5/12 7:19 A

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I had to bring Vic into the hospital ER Thursday evening. He was having trouble breathing. They ran several tests and discovered he has fluid in the sac surrounding the heart. They could drain the fluid, but it's risky because his platelets and white cell count are so low. Right now, after a dose of morphine yesterday, he is breathing easily and is in no pain or discomfort. If the fluid builds up to the point where it effecting heart function they will drain the sac. This is palliative, not curative care. He's sad and a bit afraid, but we spoke of death and dying and he appears better.

I slept in the hospital two nights in a row. Yesterday Vic got two pints of blood and then sent him home. That's where he wants to be. If I cannot care for him he'll go into the inpatient hospice unit and I will stay there with him. They have a sofa bed in the patient rooms so family can stay over.

The prognosis is as bad as it can get. They don't know exactly when he will expire but we are talking days or weeks. Vic and I had a long talk yesterday. The thing that he fears is not seeing me any more. I will stay with him till the end. I will go out for a bit on when the hospice volunteer comes so as not to worry him, but I think four hours is too long to leave his side.

Please keep us in your thoughts.

Gail

Gail, Madison, WI USA
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