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SHRINKINRUNNER's Photo SHRINKINRUNNER Posts: 6,460
2/13/10 11:45 A

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Ya I know where it is. Thank you. Dont know what to say and no one is close by. No one is even active in my states team.

**Jodymarie**

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11


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PATRICIAAK's Photo PATRICIAAK Posts: 69,025
2/13/10 11:42 A

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The buddies' thread is the first 'sticky' in this forum - 'Come Here for Buddies'.

Become Your Best!
Have a TERRIFIC day!
Patricia Kaine MD, OFS
co-Leader of Emotional Eaters


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DEBANNE1124's Photo DEBANNE1124 SparkPoints: (156,519)
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2/13/10 11:34 A

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We also have a buddy system in our team where you can find someone near you. I've been fortunate to ahve met maybe 6 local women to walk with.



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SHRINKINRUNNER's Photo SHRINKINRUNNER Posts: 6,460
2/13/10 11:26 A

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Hey everyone I am a newbie in this group but not to spark. I have lost 85 lbs in the 2 years I have been a part of this wonderful place. 71 of those lost in 10 mos and then got pregnant with my 2nd son which put it on hold after I lost that 71 lbs. Since having him (11 mos ago) I have lost the other 14 lbs. SO slow and dreadful. I am a breastfeeding mother and it seems to me I just cant seem to lose while I am. I am one of those women. My reason for writing in here is just because I feel I need t just talk (type same thing closest I can get to talking with someone lol)EVER since I have had my 2nd son it has flipped scripts. I NEVER fell off the wagon or gave in to anything once I started my journey UNTIL my 2nd trimester with my 2nd son. Now I keep finding I am binging.

Let me just say I do not like to make excuses I am just trying to figure this out and am lost. I dont know if it is because I am tired since I rarely sleep. I guess you could say I have insomnia. Or if it is I am beyond lonely?..I a SAHM of 2 boys and my hubby works all the time. I have NO family, NO friends, NO contact with the outside world EXCEPT when I go workout outside. Im overwhelmed with the duties of everything and getting no help or support form the hubby. Maybe even a little sabatoge? It could be one thing or I feel combination of ALL. Im not sure but its driving me nuts! I have people writing on my blogs mean stuff sometimes and I think it is rude.

I need to clarify I do about 60 mins a day of cardio. I take my boys out for walks when it is not cold, other wise I do a dvd of some sort and then when daddy gets home try and go for a 30 min walk by myself (since it is to cold for the kids)

I think another part that has drove me nuts is I cant run right now. I cant do much of anything!! I hurt my back little over 3 weeks ago and it is not/has not gotten any better. After dr ordered I do NOTHING but walking I ignored him until finally this past week. SO it is now 5 days that I have been doing what he said. Still NO BETTER. He said about 2 weeks. but I would EXPECT to feel SEMI TINY bit relief or better but nothing. SO all I picture is I stopped working out and running just for NOTHING if it is no better why did I stop running in the first place?? Then I have to go back and be told stop for ANOTHER several weeks??!! Im so tired of this and tired of not having control anymore. Im lost.

Good note is I finished off all the bad stuff that has been in this place.....so no more temptation.

**Jodymarie**

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11


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PATRICIAAK's Photo PATRICIAAK Posts: 69,025
2/13/10 10:33 A

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SHRINKWRAP62,
You may want to check the 'Come Here for Buddies' thread. Another option is under the Community Tab, click on the 'spark pages'. There is a place on the left for finding a buddy. You may find one that lives near you.

Become Your Best!
Have a TERRIFIC day!
Patricia Kaine MD, OFS
co-Leader of Emotional Eaters


 current weight: 208.5 
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SHRINKWRAP62's Photo SHRINKWRAP62 Posts: 77
2/13/10 10:18 A

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I have to go workout, spend a couple of hours at the gym, taking a break between one machine and the last. I have to go for a walk after that. I wish in doing all of this I had company or was at least having fun. I hate winter!!!! I love the way the snow looks, but it keeps everyone inside and makes me bored to death!!! How many more weeks do I have to suffer?
Well, at least I figured out how to lose weight. I'm still bored!!! I hate weekends!!!

Spiritually Guided With Hopes and Dreams


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PATRICIAAK's Photo PATRICIAAK Posts: 69,025
2/12/10 9:04 P

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DOCFIT1,
You may want to try the 'Come Here for Buddies' thread.

Become Your Best!
Have a TERRIFIC day!
Patricia Kaine MD, OFS
co-Leader of Emotional Eaters


 current weight: 208.5 
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PETALDEAR's Photo PETALDEAR SparkPoints: (50,621)
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2/12/10 7:55 P

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I used to think before I lost the weight (which I have with SP);that losing weight and staying healthy
was the hardest thing I could ever do. Now I find that I want to tackle at a deeper level the things that caused me to emotionally over-eat in the first place and I am finding it much harder. I want to apply the same principles for getting healthy to things like; assertion, standing up for own values, principles,being true to oneself and interacting more positively with others. Are there some good threads around or teams that deal with specific concepts such as the above rather than generalised emotional overeating? Appreciate people's thoughts and comments

Make a Difference
Do what you can, but never forget that letting go is very different from giving up. Of all the things you can make in life, remember you make all the difference in your life.



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DOCFIT1's Photo DOCFIT1 Posts: 112
2/12/10 7:45 P

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hey guys... ive been in a really bad place lately and need some support. i feel like in an uncontrollable downward spiral. just binging and punishing myself with more... luckily i haven't gain weight but im not expecting that to stay. ive been doign this for over 1 week and its just making me feel really sad. i would love to have an IM buddy or something of the sorts if anyone is up to it.. please message me at my inbox. thanks everyone

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WONDERWONDERWHO's Photo WONDERWONDERWHO Posts: 465
2/12/10 1:01 P

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possibly there is light at the end of the tunnel

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YOGINI123 Posts: 40
2/12/10 9:31 A

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so not in the mood today

LOBATEMAN's Photo LOBATEMAN Posts: 7
2/12/10 9:19 A

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SHRINKWRAP62: I know exactly how you feel. I'm pre-diabetic with an underactive thyroid. After obsessing over getting healthy for the first 5 or 6 months of the year in 2009 I was getting really angry that my weight-loss which was a daily war (much more than a battle) had stopped. Now I'm trying to start all over after having taken a break for the past 7 months. I HATE that I have to work so hard to make so little progress. But on the other hand, I was proud of myself before I let 10 pounds that were such a struggle to take off creep back onto my backside.

I have given copies of my daily food logs to my doctor a couple of times. Under doctor's referral I've seen a couple of dietitians. I found the right combination of foods last year. Yep it was mostly lettuce, beans and protein shakes. No salad dressing; used vinegar instead. No bread, no sweets, no potato chips, no Fritos -- I completely cut out stuff made with sugar, flour and corn. When I could stand to stick with that, the fat was disappearing fairly quickly. But after a couple of months of that I started feeling deprived. It seemed everyone else could eat 'normal' food and I wanted to, too!

Sorry this was so long. I really just wanted you to know that you are not alone. It has taken me 3 and a half years to lose 47 pounds - URGH!!!!

Oh crap! I just realized it's been 4-1/2 years! Don't most people lose that much in 6 months or less? #$#@@%@%$%$@@###!!!!!

Edited by: LOBATEMAN at: 2/12/2010 (09:23)
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MOCNVW23's Photo MOCNVW23 Posts: 2,479
2/11/10 10:45 P

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I am feeling maybe about 30% better today. I had a Dr.'s appointment today, and she ended up switching my meds around. One question she asked and always does was " are you still keeping track of everything on the computer daily"? I said oh yea. Got to love my Dr. I have never found anyone like her at all and never thought that there were Dr.'s out there like her. She explains everything to you, and works with you in every aspect and never looks down on you and never treats you like a patient. She treats you like you are a friend.
She switched my muscle relaxers, my pain meds, and my pills for depression. And she isn't the type to make changes and then just send you on your way and that is it. She gave me samples of all and gave me enough for a month for all, until I go back and see her, exactly one month from today, to see how I am feeling and if they are working, then if we feel they are working better then she will give me a script for them.
Missy

Everything starts with baby steps.

Facebook.. mocnvw23@gmail.com or Melissa Mcgeary
If you join me, just let me know that you are from sparks.






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BLUELINEBABE's Photo BLUELINEBABE Posts: 17
2/11/10 8:07 P

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I'm impatient as h*ll. I want everything and I want it now.

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SHRINKWRAP62's Photo SHRINKWRAP62 Posts: 77
2/11/10 2:13 P

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I am so sick of doctors. What do they go to school to learn? Lip service? I mean I know I have to lose weight and I had this problem since I was a teenager. I have all these d*** health issues that make it hard to lose weight, but does one doctor look at that history and acknowledge at least I'm not gaining weight!!! Do they have any suggestions on how to lose weight? I mean, other than telling me what I don't all ready know!!!
How much food do I have to cut out of my diet before these crazy ass doctors start to see pretty soon I have nothing but fish, poultry and salad to eat!!!!
FISH, POULTRY AND SALAD!!! I HATE SALAD!!!
I gave up red meat, pork, greasy foods, fast foods, sweets, and cut way back on pop! I goofed once with potato chips (today!!).
Now, I have to cut out potatoes, rice, pasta and soup!!! WTF is left?
HC WTF is left!!!!!!
And, still will I lose weight?
I have to exercise. No duh!!! I do, but in the winter getting to the fitness when my arthritis and fibromyalgia are roaring, it's not that freaking easy!!! Oh, yea let's not forget I have a SLOW ASS MATABOLISM meaning I have to work out twice as hard as any freaking normal person!!!! It's not 20-30 minutes three times a week for Kim, it's 60-90 minutes a day for Kim!!! A DAY!!! 60 to 90 MINUTES A DAY just burn off 3 pounds a freaking week. Is it no wonder I give up as often as I do?
I mean, sheeeeeez losing weight for me is a full-time freaking job that is both physically and emotionally exhausting!!


Spiritually Guided With Hopes and Dreams


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ANDASI's Photo ANDASI Posts: 985
2/11/10 12:57 A

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It sounds like a tough day and you are even tougher than the day you had by the sounds of it for not binging over it. I hope you have a better day tomorrow. This is the place i hope to get to to be able to have a day this tough and not binge.

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CD6282195 Posts: 136
2/10/10 11:52 P

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Thanks darling :) I already have a v as my special friend but I'm just ready for something more (which I haven't been in a few years so it's a good thing right).

Now are you ready for a real freaking rant? I"m having a terrible day...a totally ****** awful day. It started off with me waking up late, with pains in my back. I was in a bad mood all day but then things started to go really wrong. I messed up my budget and forgot that there's a two day difference between pay/loan payment so I went into the grocery store and my debit was declined. Since I don't use anything else I had to get my mom to pay for me. (I had taken her there as she doesn't drive). That made me feel about 2 inches tall.

Then I had one of my son's friend's over and the little girl had an allergic reaction (to the scent thing I had in the bathroom) that got bad enough that she threw up on my dinner table. What a flipping awesome host I am.

Then I found out that my son got 0/12 on his spelling test. Now I don't know the purpose of giving a 5 year old spelling tests considering he CAN'T READ anything but three letter words. And the stupidity is that they're starting him with 4-5 letter words with SILENT letters. My son is just learning to write...how the **** is he going to remember to spell them. Talk about an exercise in making a child feel incompetent. Then to top it off I turned on my computer tonight and there was an e-mail asking me to come to the school for a chat. Now I'm a teacher myself and I know that's never anything good.

So now I feel like a bad mother, a bad host and generally a useless human being who can't get anything right.

I hate the world!!! but I'm not binging so that must mean something.

WILDLOTUS16's Photo WILDLOTUS16 Posts: 3,188
2/10/10 8:09 P

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Hey all my day wasnt all bad but anyway i just wanted to respond to the posts about clothes....i must say i have alot of very nice clothes that i got from various places but the most of it i got from the avenue they have a website and you can order from there :) and there is also fashionbug that's great on line avenue goes up to size 30 or 32 i think and fashion bug goes up to 30 i love their clothes anyway ill post on your girl's pages if you dont see this :)

There is nothing more complete than a broken heart. For in the depths of the pain you will encounter the risen Jesus Christ.' Mark Brown


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ANDASI's Photo ANDASI Posts: 985
2/10/10 6:54 P

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Leonni 123 I can understant what you are feeling i was single for about 5 years and then i got in to a relatinship for the last 3 years. It may all look good on the outside seeing couples together being happy but there is a whole lot that comes with a relationship responsibility and giving of yourself and of youre time. I really miss being single at times. Sometimes i feel so pressured for time to fit everything in that i need to do and want to do and make time for the boyfriend it is work. And dont take this the wrong way but vibrators are fantastic.

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ANDASI's Photo ANDASI Posts: 985
2/10/10 6:38 P

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Lobateman I can absolutly relate to what you wrote about. I dont know what the answer is because somehow i find it very hurtfull and disrespectfull when my partner admires other women in front of me and it is very noticiable. We have had many fights about this and he totaly denyse it and that makes me eve more angry. Then he tries not to do it and it is so obvious how hard he is trying he actualy gets nervous. The fact is the girls he looks at are usualy younger then me and so freaking perfect so it does upset me because no matter how much weight i loose and how great i will look i will not be going down in age. He allways gives me this bs about how perfect i am but the deep penetrating pain i get when he looks at other young girls discount anything he may say to make me feel good. I just find it totaly disrespectfull as a woman that my boyfriend does that right in front of me i cant even imagine what he does when im not around. I can get up and feel wonderfull about myself feel confidant feel at peace and have self respect and if we go out and his eyes start wondering well there it all goes i feel like crap because you love this person and you just want them to respect you but he just doesent get it. This weighs very heavily on me and i dont think i can stay with this guy for the long haul we have been together 3 years it has gotten to the point where i dont want to go anywhere with him. So no matter how kind his words are to me actions speak louder than words. I hope i dont bring you down with this but i havent heard anyone talk about this before so ive been strugling with it in silence. I remember my dad doing it ot my mom and as a kid thinking how horrible it is.

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GRETCHENC16's Photo GRETCHENC16 Posts: 34
2/10/10 5:48 P

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I agree! part of what's reminding me daily that I have to lose this weight is the fact that none of my nice cute clothes fit and i can't afford the clothes that are cute but would fit!! emoticon

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1JANA1's Photo 1JANA1 Posts: 23
2/10/10 5:46 P

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I think it might help to know that all of us go through the same type of feelings you are going through. I have over 175 pounds to lose. Sometimes it helps me to write down every great thing that I will be able to do if I lose weight, e.g. not have to worry about "fitting" into restaurant booths, flying comfortably on a plane without embarassment, seeing my health improve. I also always remember an old saying that NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS. I love that one. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other - small steps. You'll make it! emoticon

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GRETCHENC16's Photo GRETCHENC16 Posts: 34
2/10/10 5:44 P

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I haven't seemed to be able to get going at all. I had a fairly good start about a month ago, but it's slowly grinding to a halt. i'm still trying to "watch what I eat" but lately most days I haven't even been able to track my food much less exercise. I work nights and my schedule gets so messed up, I get so tired so easily, and i just can't keep up. I can't even keep up my house much less keep up with anything for myself. So many days i just feel so overwhelmed and feel like everyone lays everything on me. "mom, when are you going to do this? mom, why don't we have this?" this needs done that needs done and no one can seem to do it but me. people think if you're home during the day you should be able to just magically handle everything - bills laundry shopping cleaning...but no one thinks about the fact i need to sleep. i get a few days off and think i can get all kinds of neat things done, but i'm either so tired, or just want to be able to chill for once like everyone else that i can't even keep up with what needs done much less what i want to get done. and i get so tired of the whining....we are having a major snow storm right now so the kids were home from school. while that seemed really cool this morning, as the day progressed so did the whining. and i realize why i was glad they were off was really because it just gave me an excuse to put off cleaning the house and paying the bills!!! i can't stand the wait i've gained, but i can't stand doing the work to get it off....i just wish it was all done already and all i had to do was maintain...i can't get myself going like i used to be able to... now i'm whinig...thanks for listening. what a good idea - we all need somewhere to vent!!

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THALIA_'s Photo THALIA_ Posts: 57
2/10/10 3:02 P

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So, I think I can just start a new topic here - as a vent?

I am completely a mess this week. I have fallen off the wagon and face-planted into the dirt. It started with a restaurant dinner after I was weighed in last Thursday, then Super Bowl Sunday I gave myself a "pass" to cheat a little. This turned into additional cheating on Monday (lunch and dinner), and then last night I went out to a restaurant again - for no good reason this time.

So, I've tried to get back on track today - even threw out something that I knew I shouldn't be eating - but my head is telling me to just continue to cheat until my next weigh-in at the doctor tomorrow. I've even thought about trying to skip the weigh-in and wait until next week. (I'm sure that is not an appropriate response or option.)

I know what I'm supposed to be doing, I'm just being lazy about it. I constantly look forward to the next time that I can stray off of my eating plan. I just don't understand why my head works this way! I always feel like I want some kind of concrete answer as to why I think, feel, and act this way.

I want desperately to be successful. I want to do the right things. I want to enjoy SP for years to come. I don't want any of this to be just another phase I'm going through.

Thanks for listening. emoticon

Edited by: THALIA_ at: 2/10/2010 (15:03)
If it is not hunger, food won't fill it.


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BLUELINEBABE's Photo BLUELINEBABE Posts: 17
2/10/10 2:37 P

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I think they also assume we feel great in awnings with oversized flowers.

I also wish I could bring myself to flirt. I just have this awful feeling in my mind that it would be ridiculous for me to flirt with men as long as I'm above 175lbs.

Edited by: BLUELINEBABE at: 2/10/2010 (14:40)
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CHLOIANNA's Photo CHLOIANNA SparkPoints: (0)
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2/10/10 2:31 P

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Blue, I agree. The designers all think fat people are blind.

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BLUELINEBABE's Photo BLUELINEBABE Posts: 17
2/10/10 2:25 P

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I hate how all the really pretty undies are for tiny tushes only. Yeah, they make some plus-sized stuff but alot of it looks like it was designed by the Army Corps of Engineers and then the prices are jacked up. If you have a button for a bottom, your choices are limitless. If you don't, it's tarp city. Are you not supposed to look/feel pretty if you're above a size 10?

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MOCNVW23's Photo MOCNVW23 Posts: 2,479
2/10/10 1:56 P

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we got slammered again with snow to. And I agree that sometimes I think it is the weather that indulges us to eat. A real blah weather day can be depressing.

I myself today am feeling a little better. I did call my dr. about my depression and I go tomorrow to see her. I am still having the I don't give a crap feeling about everything,but I am doing my best to keep myself busy so I don't eat and eat and eat like I have been. The stinking snow/ high winds knocked my sattlelight out, so no Tv so that upsets me. Being all I am allowed to do basically is sit on my butt on the computer and watch tv, due to alot of physical complications, so I guess the computer will get a work out today.
Missy

Everything starts with baby steps.

Facebook.. mocnvw23@gmail.com or Melissa Mcgeary
If you join me, just let me know that you are from sparks.






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LOBATEMAN's Photo LOBATEMAN Posts: 7
2/10/10 1:41 P

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2009 was a big year for me. I started Sparkpeople early in Feb. Worked HARD, harder than I can ever remember working on my health. Obsessed over tracking every bit of food eaten and exercise completed. Weight came off pretty well for a couple of months then levelled off. By June I'd lost 25 or 30 pounds. Physically I felt great! Was beginning to actually enjoy looking in the mirror. But all I could think about or talk about was this need to exercise daily, eat healthy foods and track everything. Then the weight loss virtually stopped. That was SO frustrating because I had another 20 pounds to lose. I was ashamed that I had so little weight-loss to show for the amount of effort I'd put into it. I LOVE to eat, always have. Desserts and snacks have always been there to make me feel better when I was sad, angry, lonely or bored. I was sacrificing something that gives me so much pleasure, and for what? To lose 25 or 30 pounds in 5 months. Reading about others who've lost much more than me in the same amount of time only depressed me. So I tried to be healthy without obsessing, without logging into Spark daily, hoping it would make me feel better emotionally. My weight stayed about level, didn't gain or lose, and I was starting to feel better about myself.
Then in August we went to the beach. The night before we went my husband did something perfectly natural for men to do -- went online and watched a video of some girl rubbing her large, young breasts... brought the computer to bed to watch it with me nonetheless. I COULD HAVE DIED! I was crushed. I had been looking forward to wearing a new swimsuit for him. I weighed much less than he'd ever seen me. I wanted him to be proud of me and to tell me I'm beautiful. Instead what I got was an indirect reminder that I will never have a body that compares to those I think he really enjoys looking at. We had a big fight about it. He simply can't understand why I'm so jealous. He is really good to me, thoughtful and considerate about so many things where I'm concerned. I know he loves me. He does often remind me how much I have accomplished and that he appreciates how hard it's been. So in the end, I apologized for being unreasonable. After all, jealousy only drives people apart. But ever since that happened I've been in a tail-spin. For months I've been trying to get back in the right frame of mind but haven't consistently exercised, eaten right or tracked calories. Wanted to, planned to, but couldn't stick with it. I've been depressed, abusing myself by not living the way I should be.
Maybe now I'm finally over it. Last weekend I installed the Women's Health Workout app on my iPhone, used it twice so far, and am feeling stronger. I have to get healthy for me. I have to remember that this is about me and no one else. I can't expect others to praise me for it, if they do that's great but if they don't... I have to learn to be OK anyway. Self-esteem doesn't come from others, it comes from within. Mine has to be in there somewhere. I need to stick with it this time until my goal is reached. I need to make myself proud.


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LIVELOVEHAPPY's Photo LIVELOVEHAPPY SparkPoints: (0)
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2/10/10 9:53 A

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We're snowed in again, and this time I want to eat. I just want to sit on the couch with a book and a big bag of chips and just indulge. Good thing I don't have any chips.

I also want to get out and shovel some now, but with the wind blowing the way it is, I'd just freeze my face off (butt would be better covered, lol).

I saw someone on here mention a mani/pedi. I don't have the cash or time for that right now, but I do have the tools for a mini one here, and I think I'll do that. And maybe a face mask. Just get all girly.

I definitely don't have the girly inclinations usually, but I'm finding that it's a good way to indulge myself without food.

But damn, I do want to eat. And I *KNOW* I'm not hungry--I just ate breakfast!

I'm pissed at the urge to eat. I'm mad that I've given myself this habit all those years ago. I'm angry that I have to make conscious decisions to not eat, that it's not just natural. GAR!

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WONDERWONDERWHO's Photo WONDERWONDERWHO Posts: 465
2/10/10 9:50 A

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I am having out of control feelings all over the place. But, I am going to have a non junk food day today.

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YOGINI123 Posts: 40
2/10/10 8:39 A

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i ate in the middle of the night FROSTING and PECANS!!!! my inner demons are trying to get me down. i know i have anxiety because yet another holiday i will be alone. i am getting older and feel less desirable than i used to and have fear that i will be alone forever. there i said it .. now can resume my desire to be healthy and happy. i truly believe when i am in a better place, the opportunity will present itself. i need patience and look on the long term, not the immediate gratification

CONCHALEA's Photo CONCHALEA Posts: 1,210
2/9/10 10:56 P

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I think it must be the yucky weather that influences us all at this time of year. I have also been out of control in the eating part of life. I'm taking this Friday off & getting a pedicure & manicure, plus going to my grandson's Valentine party. I hope those things will help pull me out of the dumps that I've been in since late last week.

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MOCNVW23's Photo MOCNVW23 Posts: 2,479
2/9/10 7:52 P

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This past week for me has been a real struggle. I don't know what happened to me, but I lost all faith in myself, and the positive additude. I have been so well over the past month, then last week hit, and it was like WHAM, I didn't care about my food intake at all. I didn't take time for my reflection which was a huge thing for me to do. I wasn't on here as much visiting all my friend's pages like I use to. I am about 50% back. I still have a little bit of a BLAH additude. I think I may know now what it is that has put me in this slump, and I am going to call my dr. tomorrow to set up and appointment, and try to get myself back to where I was, and want to be again.

Missy


Everything starts with baby steps.

Facebook.. mocnvw23@gmail.com or Melissa Mcgeary
If you join me, just let me know that you are from sparks.






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WILDLOTUS16's Photo WILDLOTUS16 Posts: 3,188
2/9/10 7:26 P

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I'm feeling really sad right now..like crying..i guess i just feel forgotten.....blek

There is nothing more complete than a broken heart. For in the depths of the pain you will encounter the risen Jesus Christ.' Mark Brown


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MISSIRENE's Photo MISSIRENE Posts: 45
2/9/10 7:13 P

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Boy, I know that feeling! That's about the only time I feel really bad about how I look- when I go to buy new clothes and nothing looks good. The only thing that seems to work for me in terms of healthy eating is tracking. Searching for just high protein foods has been frustrating for me, but looking at the big picture through tracking gives me more food alternatives. Try not to give up- it's about eating healthy (within the numbers) as much as possible for your whoel life- one day at a time.

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CD6282195 Posts: 136
2/9/10 6:47 P

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Today I'm feeling lonely. I have not had a relationship in many years. I'm not repulsive. In fact I'm rather pretty in a quirky sort of way. I enjoy life and the things in it. I've been alright with being single because I haven't had time for a boyfriend anyway. I've enjoyed finding out about myself as an individual and setting my own life the way I want it to be.

But today I'm freaking lonely. I see other couples and I wonder how come no one notices me. I have my son and he is such a wonderful little boy but I want someone to share the parenting with. I miss having someone to hug and kiss and laugh with.

And I miss sex dammit!

Edited by: CD6282195 at: 2/9/2010 (18:49)
DFLITMAN's Photo DFLITMAN SparkPoints: (63,391)
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2/9/10 5:56 P

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Yesterday, I really lost it with my husband. I became so angry, I just couldn't seem to control myself. It's almost as if I became possessed by some evil spirit.

OK, here's the deal. My husband is very (extremely?) dependent on me. He doesn't drive, and relies on me to get him where ever he needs to be. He also doesn't work and is going to college. I work graveyards at the local hospital, so my sleep cycle is weird anyway.

Yesterday, I asked him what time he would be done so I could pick him up and I swear he told me 11 am. After I dropped him off, I went to workout and when I finished, it was nearly 11, so I went to the college to wait. I had a book to read, so I wasn't too worried until it got to be nearly 1 pm. I was about to call him when he called me to tell me he was done. After I picked him up, I had another errand to run that I would have run if I had known he wouldn't be done until so late. Anyway, we went to run the other errand, and he said, "I thought you already did that." I told him, no because by the time I was done working out, it was nearly 11 so I came to pick him up. That's when the fight started. He insisted that he told me he wouldn't be done until 12:15 and that he had to go to his advisor's office afterward.

I know he told me he had to go to his advisor's office. And I know he told me he would be done with class at 11. But he refused to admit that it was even possible that he told me the wrong time.

That's what made me mad.

All my life...I'm ALWAYS wrong...when I was a kid, it was my dad & my brother who always treated me that way. My first husband treated me that way. Now my current husband treats me that way.

I'm so sick of always being told I'm wrong. Yes, I make mistakes. Yes, I can acknowledge that I make them.

Why can't anyone else?

Doris

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love."
-Mother Theresa of Calcutta


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EAOLSO99 Posts: 11
2/9/10 4:03 P

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I'm on here 2x this week already must be a bad week and it's only Tuesday. So I just got back from my lunch break at work and really wanted to buy some new clothes which I did but i'm surprised i didn't break the mirror trying stuff on in the dressing room. All I see are rolls and back fat and just nothing i tried on looked good. Why is it so frustrating and i'm sitting here back at my desk now and i'm starving but i'm stressing about what i've eaten the past few days and i'm so picky i can't find anything i like that's high protein to keep me full longer. Sorry to vent but i'm just ready to give up all hope of losing weight

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UPSTARTCROW1616 Posts: 10
2/9/10 3:14 P

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Hang in there. I think we've conquered one hurdle and that's admitting why we eat.

emoticon

Upstart Crow

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LIVELOVEHAPPY's Photo LIVELOVEHAPPY SparkPoints: (0)
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2/9/10 1:25 P

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OK, here's a definite trigger for me and it ticks me off because it's a situation that is not going to change any time soon:

My mom is in assisted living. It's a good place overall, though sometimes getitng the complete story involves talking with 10 people. I can deal with that. But every time I hang up the phone with talking with anyone there, even if I've initiated the contact, I want to stuff my face.

I CANNOT eat over this. My mom is there, she will be there for the foreseeable future, and she's safe. It's GOOD that she's there. But I need to get a grip on my innate, visceral emotional response to that fact. I want to eat because I'm sad knowing my relatively young mother (66 in March) needs to be there, and there is nothing I can do about it, and eating will help me forget!

Never mind that once I'm done eating the situation is the same and I remember!

Breathing now, in slow, out slow. Luckily at work the only food I have is a grapefruit. Really hard to binge with that, or turn to it for emotional support!

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CHLOIANNA's Photo CHLOIANNA SparkPoints: (0)
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2/9/10 1:25 P

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Lola, that's great. One small step at a time.

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WEN@TBAY's Photo WEN@TBAY Posts: 783
2/9/10 12:53 P

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This is a great idea! I like to try to focus on the positive on my blog so this is a great place to dump the other yukky stuff!!

Here goes! I am SUPER PISSED OFF AND INSULTED b/c the man who interviewed me nearly two weeks ago has chosen to neither return my email or my second phone call. I get it. He's not interested. But how unprofessional! It really burns me up, especially after my long time client recommended me and flew me out of state for the interview! I am taking a lesser position b/c I can't wait forever but I am hurt and disappointed. If he would just call and let me know the status I could let it go and move on with life!

The only upside is that I have not eaten over it. I have maintained my program of abstinence from certain trigger items for 20 days now and it is helping me tremendously. Challenging yes, but totally worth it!!

I am not gonna let some pinhead determine my self-worth. It's his loss!!

: ) Wendie

Life is a gift! Tear into it!!!

Total Wt Lost: 10.6 lbs




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LOLAH30's Photo LOLAH30 SparkPoints: (0)
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2/9/10 12:15 P

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That's what I'm asking myself. I know I get upset quickly over nothing, so today I wanted to do something with my husband but he offered to help his friend instat of me and that's my weakness. Now I'm eating yorgurt, yo know what, I'm just going to sort my laundry and leave the kitchen for a while. emoticon

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STARSTUFFED2010's Photo STARSTUFFED2010 Posts: 224
2/9/10 12:07 P

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thanks for the thread. i have a feeling ill be posting here alot emoticon

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CHLOIANNA's Photo CHLOIANNA SparkPoints: (0)
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2/9/10 12:04 P

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Why did you eat?

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LOLAH30's Photo LOLAH30 SparkPoints: (0)
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2/9/10 11:55 A

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I know I should write befor I eat but I tried and could mot help myself. I've already had a bag of popcorn; and 2 glasses of cola. And I still want to eat; what can I do now emoticon

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SKYS26's Photo SKYS26 Posts: 299
2/9/10 11:52 A

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It's nice to see that others feel the same as me....i'm at foods mercy!

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SKYS26's Photo SKYS26 Posts: 299
2/9/10 11:50 A

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WONDERWONDERWHO...oh how i can relate!!! wow, today i could just cry i've been stuffing my face and out of control! i'm feeling like crap and totally look like it too! once again!

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LIVELOVEHAPPY's Photo LIVELOVEHAPPY SparkPoints: (0)
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2/9/10 10:58 A

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A most excellent thread. This moment I'm OK, but I *WILL* be back.

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