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ENIGMA13's Photo ENIGMA13 SparkPoints: (19)
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2/17/12 2:31 P

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Hi my name is Melissa and I'm looking for a place where I "fit". I have a little less than 200 pounds still to lose. My daughter and my grandson lived with me until she got married in Oct. now we share my eleven year old grandson. I still have a 2 year old and an 8 year old at home as well.
Life can be crazy. I really miss my daughter not living in the home, But in some ways it's nice too.

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BEVPRESLEY's Photo BEVPRESLEY Posts: 25,105
2/7/09 2:26 P

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Keep up the exercise, it will be a good way to vent your frustration. Men always seem to lose faster. DH can just quit drinking his sodas and lose 10pounds in one week.

beverly, Central time zone

One Day at a Time:
1) walk/ride 30 minutes
2) organize something in my home
3) keep carbs below 50
4) sew 1 bobbin full
5) make someone smile


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2/7/09 9:32 A

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We are supposed to get into the 40's today. Yippee! My DH is planning on chopping wood all day - we are almost out and used more than twice what we did last year because it has been so cold. We finally had to turn the furnace on and it is killing us. We thought we could make it through the whole winter with just wood heat. If January hadn't been so cold we would have made it and have had wood to spare. Oh, well. We'll just get twice as much as we had this year ready for next! I still love heating with the wood.

No word from my uncle on the car dealership and phone number. I told him I would not buy my DHs plane ticket to go down and fetch him IF the car issue isn't resolved. It was so hard for me to do that. I try to avoid confrontation no matter what (except with DH - "sorry hon! emoticon

Moving on though, this was a good week for me. I exercised every other day (so hard for me to do) and watched every single bite that went into my mouth. My weight loss team at work is in second to last place as we have all been doing this for a few months and are just losing ounces and low pounds each week. I promised them I would try to 'pump it up' and lose two pounds. Our contest only has four more weeks to go. One of the men's' teams is blowing us all away. But we are all going to be so much healthier when this is done. Of course, if we could count the weight loss from before the contest our team would be right up there in first or second place. We all began our weight loss/healthier lifestyle program in November. We won't complain though because we all feel so much better.

I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Edited by: CD2445638 at: 2/7/2009 (09:34)
PDRAKE's Photo PDRAKE SparkPoints: (0)
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2/7/09 7:37 A

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so your weather is not much different I an up in LaFargeville north of Watertown
I am glad that he is at least hearing your concerns this will make it a little easier

Since 1990, the number of multigenerational families has grown by approximately 60%.

We are out there join our team.

Patty
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=26674


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2/6/09 10:23 P

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Thanks for the responses. I live in Medina, NY. I spoke with my uncle today and shared our concerns. He said he won't drive anymore - but that is what he said last July when he 'ran away' the first time. He is very anxious and wants us to go get him NOW! We just can't. It has to be after the 15th. He told me he still owes over $5000 on this new car he bought. I told him I would call the dealership and see if they would buy it back. He agreed but hasn't given me the name or phone number of the dealership. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Thanks for all the words of encouragement. I need them!

ISEW4UANDME's Photo ISEW4UANDME Posts: 1,701
2/6/09 8:36 A

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It is tough when an elder thinks they can still drive! It more of a feeling of being stranded than the actual need to drive. They don't want to give up their freedom. All that you can do is keep insisting that you go and do the driving. I told my mom that I would go along with her for company, then told her I'd drive so she could relax. It did work. My MIL is 90 and still drives in AZ! Heaven help the people of AZ! This is a very touchy subject!
Joan


Joan
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Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.


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2/6/09 7:44 A

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Bev I agree when you had done it before raising kids the second time around is easier in a way. With Leaha here I have found that I laugh again. I am not worried about the little things. If she wants to ride on the snowmobile ( beeile as she calls it) we leave the houseclean and go out. I look at it this way when she is napping I can clean. We make her eat healthy we make her behave but the strict time table that I have when my kids were little is gone. It just is not that important.

JGMK55 As for uncle as much as you think he should not be driving it is going to be hard to stop he All you can do at the point is slow it down a bit get it so he is not driving as often. in time he will stop and I hear that you are worried but right now do you really need to worry over it. He is not there yet You may beable to keep the car for a short time and offer to take him in his car or when he wants to go some place and you have the time ask him to let you try out his car. When they get to this age some time you have to forget that he is in his 80's and act as it he is in his teens. It will take time and work but it may not be so much stress. If he sells this car he may only go out and get an other.

Where in New York do you live?

Since 1990, the number of multigenerational families has grown by approximately 60%.

We are out there join our team.

Patty
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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BEVPRESLEY's Photo BEVPRESLEY Posts: 25,105
2/5/09 10:07 P

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Deep breaths, deep breaths. It sounds like your uncle may have some Alzheimer's coming on. I recommend seeing a new doctor as soon as you get him home and see about starting some meds. Even if the doctor gives you a written statement that he can drive, doesn't mean he should and that can be your decision. We have had to stop my MIL from driving for everyone's safety.

As for the grands, DH said if he had known how much fun they were, we would have had them first. I think part of what makes them so much fun is we are much more laid back now that we are older and see what is really important.



beverly, Central time zone

One Day at a Time:
1) walk/ride 30 minutes
2) organize something in my home
3) keep carbs below 50
4) sew 1 bobbin full
5) make someone smile


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2/5/09 9:55 P

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Thanks so much for the welcome. I am glad I found this group. Today my husband (God bless him) spoke with my uncle who said he was having his electricity and cable shut off next week. My husband is NOT going to get him until the week after. He thinks he convinced him not to shut everything off but we won't know until my husband gets there. He is refusing to sell his car. Since he insists the doctor in TX told him he could drive I am going to insist the doctor put it in writing (I really doubt any doctor would tell him he should be driving at 89 and if he knew that three doctors here in NY told him he could NOT drive.) My anxiety level is rising but I think my DH's is rising higher (and he isn't even really related to my uncle but ends up spending more time with him than anyone). This issue has to be resolved before he moves home. Everything else we can deal with. Not only is his driving a real safety issue (for himself and everyone else on the road) but he constantly gets lost when he's driving - even if he's going to a place he's been 50 times before. So, enough of this, the good stuff is still my grandson. He makes me smile every single day. To those of you raising your grandchildren, do you ever wonder how you got so lucky to have this wonderful chance to raise a grandchild? It's not that we planned this, but I do feel so blessed. Life is good!

PDRAKE's Photo PDRAKE SparkPoints: (0)
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2/5/09 7:57 A

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we are so glad to have you here. You are an angle to do the things that you had done for your family. I know we can give you the support that you need so do not be afraid to call out to us.

T have my DH SIL and granddaughter living here what fun!! There are days that I just want to be alone but most of the time I have so much fun.

We are in the process of converting the top of our garage into an apartment for DH and I DH is close to retirement so we want to travel and the kids will have the house and they will watch our apartment. This is if everything works out.

So again welcome to the team. Glad to have you here!

Since 1990, the number of multigenerational families has grown by approximately 60%.

We are out there join our team.

Patty
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=26674


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BEVPRESLEY's Photo BEVPRESLEY Posts: 25,105
2/4/09 11:27 P

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Oh my, bless your heart. And what a big heart you do have. I wonder if your uncle would be happy in an assisted living environment. Would that help with your stress? If he is a veteran perhaps a veteran retirement home. At any rate I strongly suggest you talk him into selling his car, and let the bank know so he can't get another.

I know you do enjoy the grands. We get to have ours from time to time and it sure is fun. They keep you young. My MIL has parkinsons and lives with us. Life is always an adventure. She is reaching the point she can't be left alone for very long at a time so we are all making adjustments.

You will find lots of support here. Feel free to vent, chat, escape, what ever you need.



beverly, Central time zone

One Day at a Time:
1) walk/ride 30 minutes
2) organize something in my home
3) keep carbs below 50
4) sew 1 bobbin full
5) make someone smile


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2/4/09 10:19 P

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I am thrilled to have found this group. Especially right now! A little background: my husband and I are raising (legal custody) my 8 year old grandson. We are the luckiest people in the world because that boy brings so much joy to our lives. Three years ago my uncle (age 87 then) moved in with us. Off and on during the past two years my youngest daughter has moved home (age 22) and then moved out. Additionally, my grandson's mother and his half-sister moved in with us for about six months. They have since moved out but our granddaughter usually spends every weekend with us. My uncle has been a challenge. After living with us for one year he literally ran away. A month after he left I had to fly to Texas to get him when he was found disoriented and admitted to a hospital. He came home and things seemed to be going well when he pulled the same stunt just before Thanksgiving of last year. The difference this time was his health was great (we had worked very hard to help him - watching meds, making sure he ate, keeping him active) and his mental health had improved enough that when he told us (he didn't tell us the first time) that he was leaving we couldn't stop him. Since he left and moved back to Texas his health has again deteriorated. He has been in the hospital one to two times a week (he takes himself to the hospital on a daily basis - severe anxiety). His doctor finally told him he either moved back home with us or they would begin proceedings to have him placed in a nursing home. He decided to come home BUT while he was away he bought a car (he is not supposed to be driving) and insists the doctor told him he's a wonderful driver and he can keep driving. He's not and he shouldn't! He's now 89, has no peripheral vision and his reflexes are so slow he is a danger. He had agreed after the first 'runaway trip' to never drive again. He sold his car. But now he has bought a new car. To make a long story short (not really, this is already too long), from the time he moved in with us until he left for the final time I gained over 70 pounds. I found myself eating constantly - my way of dealing with stress. Since he left I have been losing weight steadily. My stress level is down to almost nothing and we all feel so much better. My uncle has nowhere else to go. He's family. And we love him. So he's coming home. My husband is flying to Texas in two weeks to drive him and his new car home. In the meantime we are all starting to anticipate stress. However, I will NOT start eating the way I did before again. So, I am so glad I found this group. I want to be ready this time for anything that may happen. emoticon

PONDSITTER's Photo PONDSITTER Posts: 820
12/11/08 10:38 A

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Thank you ... yes it works well. Some days more than others, but then life is like that.


Sally

Vini, Vidi, Velcro ... I came, I saw, I stuck around.

The bend in the road is NOT the end of the road ... unless you fail to turn.

God whispers to your soul, speaks to your mind, and sometimes when you are too busy to listen he has to throw a brick at you.

Sorrow looks back. Worry looks around, Faith looks up.

my.sparkpeople.com/PONDSITTER


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BEVPRESLEY's Photo BEVPRESLEY Posts: 25,105
12/11/08 9:37 A

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Sally, I think that would qualify, seems like a very good working arrangement to me. Welcome to our group.

beverly

beverly, Central time zone

One Day at a Time:
1) walk/ride 30 minutes
2) organize something in my home
3) keep carbs below 50
4) sew 1 bobbin full
5) make someone smile


 Pounds lost: 33.0 
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PDRAKE's Photo PDRAKE SparkPoints: (0)
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12/7/08 8:06 A

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welcome to the team it is nice to have you here. it is nice that you do the cooking plus you can control what goes into the meal. Good luck and again welcome

Since 1990, the number of multigenerational families has grown by approximately 60%.

We are out there join our team.

Patty
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=26674


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PONDSITTER's Photo PONDSITTER Posts: 820
12/6/08 11:43 A

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Good Morning ... I don't know if this qualifies for multi generational family, but about a year ago I moved in with my younger sister and her husband. Their two girls are pretty much out of the house and do come home about once a month or so. I had surgery two years ago for blood clots in both legs and couldn't live alone for awhile. I lived alone for 14 years after my husband passed away but living with my family is so much better than being alone. I do all the cooking for them (my sister works, my BIL is disabled). There are days when I would like the quietness of living alone but for the most part this seems to be working well.

Sally

Vini, Vidi, Velcro ... I came, I saw, I stuck around.

The bend in the road is NOT the end of the road ... unless you fail to turn.

God whispers to your soul, speaks to your mind, and sometimes when you are too busy to listen he has to throw a brick at you.

Sorrow looks back. Worry looks around, Faith looks up.

my.sparkpeople.com/PONDSITTER


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PDRAKE's Photo PDRAKE SparkPoints: (0)
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12/1/08 4:25 P

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welcome to the team you will find much here to help you read as much as you can when you get going you find must everything will tell you to fill up on the lowest cal food first and work you way to the highest by that time you should be full and not eat as much

Since 1990, the number of multigenerational families has grown by approximately 60%.

We are out there join our team.

Patty
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=26674


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MAGA99's Photo MAGA99 Posts: 14,317
11/30/08 9:30 P

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Hi everyone
My name is Marcia (marsha), I m 40 yrs old. Last yr my hubby n I moved into take care of my disabled father & presently my son n his pregnant girlfriend r staying with us as they fix up the house they r going to share with a friend(right across the street from us). Until about a mth ago I was raising my eldest grand baby she is 3 n I had her since birth, Now she lives with her mom my daughter. It's really hard to cook healthy cause my dad is very set in his ways, so hopefully I'll get some ideas here to help with that

My enemies don't be glad because of my troubles!
I may have fallen, but I will get up;
I may be sitting in the dark, but the Lord is my light
Micah 7:8


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11/19/08 7:13 A

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sharon we are very glad you are here and I am sure we all can relate to what you say I know I have been there some times you just have to get away from the noise. When I can not take anymore I go for a walk. Keep your chin up it does get better.

Since 1990, the number of multigenerational families has grown by approximately 60%.

We are out there join our team.

Patty
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=26674


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SHARON46's Photo SHARON46 SparkPoints: (0)
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11/18/08 9:06 P

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HI, I JOINED THISTEAM WHEN IT FIRST STARTED BUTG JUST NEVER GOT AROUND TO INTRODUCING MYSELF (PART OF MY ADD). MY HUISBAND AND I HAVING MY SON WHO ISN'T MARRIED AND FOUND IT NICER TO LIVE WITH MOM AND DAD, NOT THAT WE WOULDN'T LIKE TO SEE HIM GET MARRIED AND LET SOME ONE ELSE PICK UP AFTER HIM. THEN THIS SUMMER MY GRANDSON WANTED TO GO TO THE TECHNICAL COLLEGE BY US BUT HIS PARENTS DID NOT WANT TO HELP HIM SO WE MOVED HIM IN WITH AND ARE PUTTING HIM THROUGH COLLEGE. HE WANTS TO BE A CAREER FIREMAN, SO HE GOT INTO SCHOOL BY US AND THEN JOINED THE OAID ON CALL FIRE DEPARTMENT IN OUR TOWN. SOME DAYS IT IS GREAT HAVING EVERYONE WITH US AND THEN OTHERS I JUST WALK INTO MY ROOM AND CLOSE THE DOOR FOR AN HOUR AND THINGS SEEM OK WHEN I COME OUT. I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS MY FRAME OFC MIND OR THE DISAGREEING IS OVER AND EVERYONE IS OFF DOING THEIR OUN THING. I WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY DIFFERENT.

SHARON

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PDRAKE's Photo PDRAKE SparkPoints: (0)
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10/17/08 11:31 A

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I started this team as a way to share with our who have their children and grandchildren living with them. Some days can be such a challenge yet others days life is fun. I have my daughter and her family living with my husband and I. It started in April 2008 my son in law got a job at the local Army base which was a two hour move north for him so they sold their house after my husband offered them our place. they have a wonderful very active 18 month daughter that I just could not live without now. We have a two story garage so we are making an apartment out there for us and the kids will keep the house. We are trying to do this a little at a time as we get the extra money as my hubby retires in 5 years and he wants to travel so now we have someone to take care of the house while we are gone.
Please do not reply to this start anew topic

Edited by: PDRAKE at: 10/17/2008 (11:33)
Since 1990, the number of multigenerational families has grown by approximately 60%.

We are out there join our team.

Patty
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=26674


 current weight: 157.0 
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