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TINASAURUSREX's Photo TINASAURUSREX SparkPoints: (8,041)
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2/10/14 10:56 A

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Amy - thanks so much for the welcome! After you said that about my Sparkpage I went and finished it off and opened it up so please (everyone) feel free to friend me!

I think what is key for me right now is that I DON'T hate myself (which I did for a very long time) and therefore I am hoping that I can let myself focus on health and non-number related goals because I deserve it, and that if I get thrown off or I am not making progress instantly I can stay on track because it isn't that I am being a total failure in my life, it's just that this is one aspect I need to refocus on a bit to get it balanced out. Of course, I say all this as my ideal mindset and know that it won't always be that easy breezy!

I think tracking is going to be important for me too because I tend to get mindless, especially when I am bored or frustrated. I am not so much worried about being precise on my calorie count, but to at least get SOMETHING down for every single thing I eat so I can look at it and be accountable to myself. For example, I was tracking last night and feeling pretty good about my numbers...then I remembered a big glass of orange juice I hadn't accounted for...then I got munchy and attacked a bag of caramel corn that was hanging out in my kitchen and didn't enter it because I didn't want to get out my tablet again to do it (and to be honest, didn't really want to admit that I had eaten it anyway). But this morning I went back in and tracked both things...whether the calories were exact or not, at least I put down the physical record that it went in my mouth and then I can take responsibility if I want to do it again.

One of my favorite analogies to making long term changes is - if you dropped an egg, would you throw away the rest of the dozen? Of course not! The rest of the eggs are still perfectly fine. So if you go off track one day (or one meal, or one snack or even a whole week) would you just quit trying to make positive changes? Of course not! Your health is still making forward steps and there is no reason to just throw in the towel.

Life is too precious to put off living it until some arbitrary date or weight!


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AMY_1217's Photo AMY_1217 SparkPoints: (86,135)
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2/9/14 9:29 P

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First off, I HAD to read your post, just because of the title!!! I just knew with a title like that, you'd be an amazingly creative person. :D

I completely understand where you're coming from. Nobody should ever be made to feel inferior because society deems us as fat and useless! I've struggled terribly with self esteem issues because I've been overweight all my life. Be you! That's what counts! If you're a food lover, then by all means have it! I know I sure did! lol

When I started with SP, I was 312 and totally hating myself. I've had a lot of great success and some tremendous backslides (hence the number on my ticker lol). I knew, for me, accountability was the key. So I logged every single thing that went in my mouth and every bit of exercise I did. Every part of my sparkpage is public, and for good reason. It's much harder for me to lie to an entire community than it was for me to lie to myself. I'd become accustomed to doing THAT. ;) So if everything was an open book, I had to learn to walk the walk.

Tracking was by far one of the most useful tools on here for me. You see, I'd come into this with the "diet" mentality, and tracking everything, blogging incessantly and talking to fellow Sparkers helped me realize "diet" is just anther four letter word. I needed to focus on the proper use of the word, which is "dietary"! As in dietary needs, not a quick fix for a problem that was a lifetime in the making. By paying attention to my eating...and yes, sometimes grazing...habits and actually MOVING my big butt, I began to see the pros and cons of the choices I made. Do I give up the stuff I love? Absolutely not! I still have my chocolate, but now I choose dark chocolate and try to keep it to one serving of whatever it is. I still have my coffee, at least once a day. But instead of sugar and creamer, I use liquid stevia (no aftertaste like Splenda or other artificial sweeteners get in hot beverages) and dark chocolate (of course lol) almond milk. MUCH better for me!

As for exercise, I had to start out very slowly. Walking to the mailbox and back would leave me winded. And to just go out for a walk? For FUN???? Not a chance! So I started with Leslie Sansone walking videos at home, and I DEFINITELY utilized the 10 minutes videos on here! I HATED exercise! And yes, there are times that I still do. But there have also been times when I've actually ENJOYED it! The summer of 2011, there were several days where, 10-20 minutes at a time, I logged over 100 fitness minutes a day! I teamed up with friends and went for walks. Heck, I even jogged some! And tennis! I suck at it but we had so much fun! I'm slowly on the road back to being physically fit. It's a long, slow road, but I know I can get that calf definition back, because I'd already done it once!

Wow, I'm long-winded! lol Anyway, welcome to SP and if you ever need anything at all, don't hesitate to ask. I'd go to your page and friend you but it's not a public page. Feel free to stop by mine any time!


Edited by: AMY_1217 at: 2/9/2014 (21:34)
Amy - KS (central time zone)
Scarlet Dragons Sleigh Bell Slim Down!



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IVGOTMOXY's Photo IVGOTMOXY Posts: 112
2/8/14 6:00 P

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As others have said making the decision to lose weight should be for your health and comfort not on societies prejudices.

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JEZEBEL2880's Photo JEZEBEL2880 Posts: 1,023
2/7/14 4:52 P

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Hey there, I'm sorry if I repeat others, I didn't read their comments this time as I'm trying to answer tons of emails! lol

Anyway! If you are completely against tracking your nutrition,,,,maybe you could just start small by making sure you are eating lots of fruits and veggies to your diet! Make sure you drink 2 liters (8 cups) of water everyday. And try to get in a nice workout even if it's real small. It makes you feel great! And sleep is also important. Those are things that don't take up a whole lot of time. Just takes some adjustment to your regular way of doing things! Using a smaller plate is also a good idea. OR eat slow and quit eating when you start to feel full!

Hope some of those are helpful for you! Good luck!

SUFFER THE PAIN OF DISCIPLINE; OR SUFFER THE PAIN OF REGRET!!!

FALL down SEVEN times - STAND up EIGHT!

You don't have to go FAST, you just have to GO!



ROSIEMM07 Posts: 39
2/7/14 4:37 P

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Welcome to the team (I have a juvenile sense of humor and also snickered)! The ladies here provided great advice: being mindful when eating, make healthier choices, increasing your water intake and above most have more movement. This is your journey for your reasons to become healthier. I really don't care for others opinions. I just want to feel good in my own skin, go up a flight of stairs at the office without passing out.

You're already heading in the right direction.

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MIZZFIT2's Photo MIZZFIT2 SparkPoints: (36,143)
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2/7/14 3:27 P

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I don't know the calorie for curry off hand. I made some myself and found it was not that bad for you in moderation. The coconut milk is less calorie and fat then I realized.
Yeah I was shocked.
If the place has a website that tells you the nutrition of each item that would really help. (I usually look before I walk inside.)
If you have candy on your desk you should get rid of it. It will sit there and taunt you till you eat it. I have a draw that I put fruit (oranges are my favorite) and I have some multi grain chips that really were suprisingly good that I have from time to time.

If the place you are eating does not have a website that give you nutrition go for baked chicken or fish. Pork is high in fat but not in carbs. It's been a bit since I went to a Thai place. I'm more making it at home.

Heather
Eastern Standard Time Area

Each day is about moderation, motivation and making the best choices for yourself.

BLC 24 - Fabulous Feisty Foxes
BL 2014 Spring - Black Panthers
BLC 25 - AZURE DESTINATIONS

My superhero name: The spider eagle
My superpower: Artificial Intelligence
My weakness: Cowboys
My weapon: my star rusty
Transportation: elephant


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TINASAURUSREX's Photo TINASAURUSREX SparkPoints: (8,041)
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2/7/14 2:56 P

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Thanks for the welcomes everyone - I hope I didn't sound too grumpy, I really am not like that normally. This whole process just has a tendency to make me grumpy...I'm generally much more of a Doc or even a Dopey, LOL!

I do think the tracking for awhile does need to be a priority, at least on a basic level. Even if I am not being crazy about staying within my calorie goals, I know I have a tendency to not realize I am doing things like, having a second handful of mixed nuts when the first handful took the edge off fine, or having chocolate with breakfast because it is there, or putting 10-12 wontons in the soup instead of the serving size of 6 because DAMMIT THEY ARE TASTY!! So having some accountability may help me make better choices for that 85-90% of the time so I can not worry about it for that 10-15% of the time when I am out being footloose and fancy free through the restaurants of NYC.

First good choices of today:
- measured my nuts so as to only have 1/4 cup instead of somewhere just shy of 1/2 cup (I am now going to snicker like a 12 year old boy at that comment of my own)
- Didn't eat the chocolate in my desk for breakfast......can't promise it won't happen between now and 5pm 0:-)
- In the cafeteria I went with the fish, veggies and roasted baby potatoes instead of the tuna melt panini...because seriously?? 810 calories for a tuna sandwich with a slice of plastic cheese on a mediocre roll?? seriously?? Didn't even hunt down extra butter for the potatoes, stuck with salt and pepper, didn't hate it.
- Been drinking tea with a touch of honey instead of coffee with a glob of condensed milk...although that is also delicious and will be saved for a treat!
- I'm see Sir PStew on Broadway tonight and going out for Thai food before...going to steer towards the meat and veg stir fry instead of my usual noodles or curry. Still tasty...right? Right...Any suggestions?

Hopefully these are the kind of choices that if I stick with them will help. Because I don't feel like I have made terrible choices, but obviously I have made enough choices to keep me where I am at (and slooooooowly creeping upwards) for the last 10 years. Now I want chocolate.

Life is too precious to put off living it until some arbitrary date or weight!


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ZELLYBEAR's Photo ZELLYBEAR SparkPoints: (5,860)
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2/7/14 1:15 P

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emoticon welcome to the team!

If Roses grow in Heaven
Lord, please pick a bunch for me.
Place them in my Daddy's arms
and tell him they're from me.

Tell him that I love him and miss him,
and when he turns to smile,
place a kiss upon his cheek
and sit and talk to him awhile.

Because remembering him is easy,
I do it every day,
but there's an ache within my heart
that will never go away.


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LIGHTLOVEJOY's Photo LIGHTLOVEJOY Posts: 1,333
2/7/14 12:32 P

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Hi Christine,

Welcome to the team!

This journey should be about you, not about society or what anybody else thinks of it. I don't care what you do- it doesn't even have to be about weight loss-, people are going to have opinions about it one way or another. Usually those opinions tell more about the person holding them than they do about you, we're all so caught up in our own "stuff". Ultimately those opinions are meaningless anyway, and they only have power if you let them. Stand firm in the knowledge that the only opinion that matters is yours, and do what feels right for you. Whatever that happens to be.

You don't want to track everything incessantly? Don't! Just focus on being mindful when you eat so that you choose healthier foods that make your body feel good. You don't want to run a marathon? That's fine, too! But notice how much easier it is to climb stairs when you're doing something active on a regular basis. Again, the activity can be anything you want it to be, but find something that you enjoy that makes you feel good. Not because somebody else said you should or you have some idea that you have to do it, but because it's fun and it makes you feel alive.

In short, love yourself through your actions and ignore what anybody else has to say about it, whether their comments are good or bad.

Best wishes to you on your journey!

Amy

Amy
Tempe, AZ
MIZZFIT2's Photo MIZZFIT2 SparkPoints: (36,143)
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2/7/14 12:03 P

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Hi Christine,

Weight loss does not have to be about struggle or even about worry.
I found ways to eat what I love and making it healthy has made this journey for me more enjoyable then a struggle.
I didn't choose to loss weight because of society, I wanted to loss weight because I hated struggling to put on my shoes and because climbing stairs made me winded. I hated feeling that way.
I seriously suggest taking small steps when you do this. Start with just drinking more water. Swapping a bad snack for a healthy snack. Things like that get you thinking more and more about making good choices.
Good luck and welcome to the team.

Heather
Eastern Standard Time Area

Each day is about moderation, motivation and making the best choices for yourself.

BLC 24 - Fabulous Feisty Foxes
BL 2014 Spring - Black Panthers
BLC 25 - AZURE DESTINATIONS

My superhero name: The spider eagle
My superpower: Artificial Intelligence
My weakness: Cowboys
My weapon: my star rusty
Transportation: elephant


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VENCEDORA's Photo VENCEDORA SparkPoints: (0)
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2/7/14 11:50 A

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Good morning Christine,

OMG, I can totally relate to your story.
I hope we can both get to write soon, how we overcame all these "small" obstacles that seem huge at times.

Maria

"No matter how you feel,get up,dress up,show up and never give up"
"When we meditate every morning, we are putting on armor for the day's battle against our own impatience,inadequacy,resentment and hostility"
"The beginning of freedom is the realization, that I am not the thinker" www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/ticker_c
reate.asp


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DUBGIRL418 SparkPoints: (54,118)
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2/7/14 11:41 A

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Welcome, Christine!

Teresa (dubgirl418)
Eastern Time Zone
Cincinnati, Ohio
Member of the Golden Phoenix BL CHALLENGE


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TINASAURUSREX's Photo TINASAURUSREX SparkPoints: (8,041)
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2/7/14 10:49 A

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Hi - So, I am on SparkPeople (again) and honestly I am not even 100% sure why except that I am feeling uncomfortable in my skin on occasion and the effects of age creeping up and I hate being out of breath all the time and the friend that would rather wait 20 minutes for the bus than walk the 15 minutes where we are going. On one hand I firmly believe that body shaming is an epidemic of societal proportions, and the pressure on people to all look alike (and in particular women) is ridiculous. I'm fat, other than a brief period from ages 18-22 when I got down to merely chubby, I have always been fat. The yo-yoing that took place in those years also destroyed my gall bladder so that's gone and my digestive system randomly and for no apparent reason decides to hate me on any given day. Perhaps spending so many years at this weight has also destroyed my natural metabolism, or maybe I just have never really tried.

I think it is totally ridiculous to expect our food intake and our weight to become the focus of our lives, as if we have nothing valuable to offer if we aren't within a "normal" weight range. When people express shock and amazment that someone has done something talented and the only reason they would be surprised is because they don't look like a pop star that disgusts me. I don't want the rest of my life to be spent worrying about weight and focusing time and brain power on my caloric intake that could be spent writing, or creating art, or studying comparative world relgions, or volunteering with Amnesty International, or something else that defines me as a person besides what I look like.

So yeah, I have pretty strong opinions about how our culture treats women's bodies. That being said, I have also dealt with a pretty serious binge eating disorder in the past which I have mostly overcome. At this point I just would like to be more comfortable, move easier, breathe easier, fit into these tiny NYC theatre seats easier, not be squeexed like toothpaste into the center seat on the subway, have purses go across my body easier, just generally be able to live life in a more comfortable way without spending every waking moment worried about "did I use 1 or 1.5 teaspoons of oil when I cooked that chicken?" or "is this really .5 cups of dried oatmeal of .4 cups because I want to squeeze every last calorie out dammit!!" I live in NYC, I love food and cooking and dining out in new and unique places. I don't intend to go to a Korean Hot Pot restaurant and eat nothing but steamed veggies because I don't know how many calories are in the sashimi squid or the house made kimchi, or even go to my favorite French restaurant and not eat a totally luxurious appetizer if I want. And I am not planning on whipping out my phone to track the ingredients in a bowl of pho with tendon, tripe, and meatballs because it would make me insane as a human and that's exactly what I DON'T want to have happen.

So what do I want? Like I said, I just want to be more comfortable in this physical world. I want to maybe start shifting some of my choices to be healthier on an 80% basis so that when I do go out with my culinary adventures Meetup group I don't have to think about the calories because everything else is on track. I want to start making healthier choices about sleep, alcohol, exercise and uneccesary snacks (more, less, more, less respectively). I want to not have to turn sideways to get through the turnstile at the subway. I want to be able to go to Great Adventure and Universal Studios and not have to worry that I won't be able to fit in half the rides. I want to sit on a stool at any bar and not slide off because my ass is too big and the seat is too small. I want to just live my life without having to take all this other crap into account every second of every day. I just want to be me, only a little less focus on special considerations to move through the world.

So, hi :-)
~Christine

P.S. - my name comes from the fact that I have shorter than average arms for my height and therefore I consider myself to be a t-rex...I also do a killer t-rex failing at pushups impression. I've been told it's alternately horrifying and hilarious...everyone's gotta have something, right?

Life is too precious to put off living it until some arbitrary date or weight!


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