When my very long standing Dr left, and knowing my dilemma with a lot of health professionals/mental health, he suggested a Dr who would be a very good fit for me emotionally....... and he was a BRILLIANT fit. If you know the Nursing staff, perhaps they could steer you to one that would be a good fit for you.
Again, thanks for everyone's input. Received a message on my phone that there is a message in the patient portal. So, I opened it this morning. Guess I don't have to think about switching doctors anyway. Message said she is leaving the practice to move back to her hometown in northern Wisconsin. Along with it was a list of available doctors, and a directive to let them know who we would like to review our info and see for the next appointment. I will have to investigate if she just chose to leave or they decided for her. The only place I complained was here, so I wasn't a party to her parting, if that were the case.
Wow, this really struck me as an opportunity to have a real conversation with your doctor. She is a person that lives with issues that we all battle, weight issues are complex and worth being able to discuss without judging each other. My own doctor of 25 years just retired and while we often discussed weight, I think it was hard for her to relate as she was very thin, almost underweight. Turns out she had other issues, highly nervous and had anxiety, high blood pressure, bit her nails to the wick and was very overworked and probably had little time for her own health. Still she was very caring and knowledgeable and I miss her. I live in a small town so I also knew of her marital problems and the problems her kids got into as she knew of my own personal issues. We treated each other with respect and I am grateful for the care she provided me and my family. We are all imperfect beings and to be judged by our weight, clothing choices or other superficial measurements is exactly what we all know all too well. Those that judge me without really getting to know me will miss out on the incredible being that I am. Please consider giving this doctor another chance and consider being open to who she is and what she has to offer.
Edited by: FLORADITA at: 9/2/2019 (22:21)
"It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." - Abe Lincoln
current weight: 193.0
Fitness Minutes: (45,229)
31,495 8/30/19 9:28 P
Thanks To ARCH this post has reminded me of DR_BIRDIE - our resident Dr. Copy/Paste ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Birdie Varnedore, M.D., Resident Medical Expert
Birdie joined SparkPeople as a member in 2007 and lost 140 pounds the healthy way while balancing her demanding roles as a full-time neurologist, wife, and mother of five young children. Because of her amazing success, she has appeared in People magazine's annual "Half Their Size" issue, and on "Good Morning America" and "Oprah's Ultimate Weight Loss Finale."
A graduate of the University of Miami, Birdie has been practicing medicine since 2004. Board certified by the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology in neurology and vascular neurology, she is a full-time neurologist at a hospital in Florida, and a member of her hospital's telemedicine stroke team.
Birdie enjoys spending time with her family and continues to make healthy living and exercise a part of her daily life, and is passionate about helping others do the same. As SparkPeople's Resident Medical Expert, Birdie helps review our health and medical content for accuracy, speaks to the media about weight-loss and medical news and healthy living, and also writes blogs and articles for our sites about the health and medical implications of both obesity and weight loss. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wonder if the problem with the original poster's Dr is HOW she verbalized, and being young, perhaps hadn't properly learned the art of diplomacy. Still, Dr Birdie's use of SP is a VERY good example to throw back at the Dr LOL! Perhaps the OP should print out that information and give to her on the next visit.
That can be a DVM (veterinary) problem too. A number a patients scheduled (with the added in emergencies) and there is always the new patient problem or the less common problem that you see that you need to look up new information on since medicine and medical technology is always changing. That is why we have a minimum required continuing education points each year too. We use referrals and consults when needed also. In other words we can be busy, stressed out and very short on spare time and short on extra funds. We still get our own medical bills and vet bills too. For instance I recently had to refer 2 of my cats for cardiac work ups. I will be managing their problems for the rest of their lives. At least they feel better now than before I had them worked up.
"My point is that while your doctor might be 80+ overweight now, what's to say she hasn't been using WW to get to her current weight ? Maybe she's just like all the rest of us (or even Oprah), she struggles with her weight. That doesn't mean she isn't a great doctor.
Her size does not indicate she's a bad doctor. It means she may spend more time taking care of her patients than she does for herself. "
I agree 100%. Hopefully someday looks and fashion sense will not determine competency in our field.
"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." ~ Randy Pausch
"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results." ~ Art Turock
"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good." ~ 7 Years in T
Fitness Minutes: (348,856)
8/30/19 12:14 P
I'm going to play Devil's Advocate for a moment. Even though your doctor may be 80+ pounds overweight, what if she had told you she had already lost 100 pounds using WW ?
A problem someone who works in healthcare faces is that they don't have enough time to take care of their own needs because they spend all day taking care of everyone else's needs.
When you walk around your hospital, ever notice how many health professionals are outside smoking ? Don't they know how smoking increases their risk for cancer ? How can they tell their patients not to smoke when they are outside smoking ? Once again, because these people spend their day taking care of everyone else's needs.
Also, quick story. I worked as a group exercise instructor for many years. One day, I was talking to someone who took my class about losing weight, staying fit, etc. She said to me,"You're thin. You don't know what it's like to be overweight". Well, actually, I do know what it's like because I was overweight. People who know me now, didn't know that I was obese. Because as others have noted, when you work fitness or nutrition, you have to look the part. Spark members have said they wouldn't work with a personal trainer if that trainer was fat. Aren't trainers supposed to be slim and fit ?
My point is that while your doctor might be 80+ overweight now, what's to say she hasn't been using WW to get to her current weight ? Maybe she's just like all the rest of us (or even Oprah), she struggles with her weight. That doesn't mean she isn't a great doctor.
Her size does not indicate she's a bad doctor. It means she may spend more time taking care of her patients than she does for herself.
When I went in for my yearly physical, I was talking diets with my doctor. He asked me what I ate to stay healthy and I said I'd been shifting towards pescatarian for ethical reasons. He said he's a lacto-ovo vegetarian and would like to see more of his patients stop eating meat.
Thanks to everyone for their opinions, advice, experiences. I do not see her again for six months, so in the meanwhile, I'm researching other doctors in the practice. Some specialize in older patients, so I'm thinking that may a route for me. I think she is nervous giving advice to older people as it clearly showed with me. Also, her conflicting thoughts on weight may have been because she feels she shouldn't discuss the subject. I do think I made a snap judgment...not that she was that overweight, but how she was clearly dressed inappropriately for the office. When I was waiting to check out, she came out of a room, and others were looking at her, so it's just not "me." It's owned by a large group of doctors, and I think I will not be surprised if I get a call that she is no longer with the practice.
I love what NIRERIN said. She has given you some excellent advice.
Personally, I would give this doctor another chance. Definitely get some clarification on her conflicting advice and maybe let her know that SP is an amazing website that promotes, in my opinion, a healthier lifestyle than WW.
I am actually coming from a place of having recently had a HORRIBLE experience with a doctor. I had seen her once a few years ago for an annual exam; she had made extreme recommendations for an otherwise benign issue. In June, I had a not so benign issue pop up. She and her nurse were so awful and requesting tests that had no merit based on my situation at the time and personal history; they seemed only concerned about covering their backsides.
I ended up getting a second opinion from another doctor who came highly recommended. He is a million times better!!! He is actually going to be my regular doctor now and helped me develop an action plan to hopefully avoid the mess and frustrations I had in June.
It sounds like you started off with a snap judgement and then didn't really effectively communicate with the doctor (communication being a two way street). BMI is an average for an average person. You belong to a subset that helps keep that average up, which is to say that being on the upper side to just slightly above is about the sweet spot for you. Since you are slightly over, losing a little bit of weight would be okay, but also because of the subset that you're in (and presumably taking your current medical status into account) staying the same would also be okay. If I were to summarize with numbers I would say that your doc basically told you that 24-26.4 is a darn fine place for you to be at right now. So you could lose a few pounds if you wanted, but you're not going to reap massive benefits from doing so and losing a significant amount of weight is probably not beneficial for you.
Or the doctor could just be a poor communicator. If you really don't feel comfortable with her, ask for a new doctor. I will also suggest a few things that have helped me. One is keeping a page in my planner where I can note things that I want to address during my check ups. Right before my check up I will rewrite it and leave myself space to jot down answers and notes and data. I find that this helps keep me on track and reminds me to note and clarify when I need to. So if my doc told me that 26.4 was okay, the minute she mentioned losing a few the next thing out of my mouth would be "So you said earlier that 26.4 was okay and now you are saying to lose a few. Do you mean that anywhere from 24 to 26.4 is a good place to aim for? Or somewhere in the neighborhood of 150-165 lbs?" Some doctors are really good at explaining as they go, others require prompts to remind them that you aren't in their head and do need things spelled out. If you just say okay and don't ask for clarification then your doctor assumes you are with them. It's just like anything in your job that you do ten times a day, it becomes nearly automatic and you don't really think about explaining it until you are faced with someone doing it the first time who has to keep asking for clarification. Having a doctor for ten years, you probably built up quite a bit of trust and a very good relationship. Anyone that you switch to right now is going to be different and it's going to take a little time to adjust to someone new and get into a new groove. If the new doc really rubs you the wrong way, try someone else. But you also have an opportunity with a newer doctor to help build them into a really great physician. A younger doctor is also going to be able to age with you in that you could build up a twenty or thirty year relationship in a way that you can't with a more seasoned doctor. That being said, oil and water can sit on each other not mixing, or you can bring some herbs to the party, shake it up and make vinaigrette.
You were the other person in that room with the doctor. If you really feel that you asked all the right questions and were blown off without the information that you needed then you need a new doctor. If you look back and see where you could start the dialogue that you need to engage and be a more active participant in your healthcare (even if your old doctor would tell you without you having to ask) then you might need to give this doctor another shot. The weight of the doctor in question, at least with a single day of data, doesn't have any bearing on their medical training. Having an MD does not mean that you are not susceptible to medical issues and most issues require time to diagnose and treat. The too tight clothing is another issue entirely, but no one really likes being on either end of that conversation.
she sounds like she is giving you conflicting advice. if it's okay your bmi is over by 1.4 then why is she stating at the same time that you could lose a few?? I would personally find another Doctor. You want to have someone you can trust and from your post it sounds like your bothered by her statements. She sounds like she doesn't know what she is talking about , weight watchers is garbage, keep sparking, you don't need special foods from weight watchers to be healthy. just my opinion.
Fitness Minutes: (45,229)
31,495 8/29/19 8:51 A
I think I would have casually asked for her personal experience with weight watchers and asked if it has helped her lose much. I would give her a second try but if you don't find her a good fit ask for a different Dr.
First of all, a person's weight often has other factors than lifestyle. I would be more worried about her contradicting and vague advice than her body to be honest.
Maybe I'm a little more sensitive to this. As a dietitian, I am held to that high physical standard as well. Luckily am at a "normal" BMI range, but I really feel for my colleagues who are passionate about what they do (and amazing at it!!) who just might have a bigger body. Does it make them less qualified than me? Absolutely not.
Also, keep in mind that most doctors are not nutrition experts...most have less than 24 hours of nutrition training and know the very basics only. Is the new doctor good at what she IS qualified to handle (ie diagnosing and treating disease, health screening, etc.)? And comfortable referring you to others who handle things beyond her scope of practice?
Bottom line is, you should be comfortable with your doctor. She should be someone you feel comfortable asking questions and feeling like her answers are educated and nonjudgemental. If you just don't jive with this one (outward appearance aside) there is no shame in trying another one.
The doctor I saw for ten years retired, so I was assigned a new one. I almost couldn't believe my eyes! She walked in (young, late 20's), at least 80+ pounds over weight, and dressed in a tight sweater and pants that showed each roll, etc.
She proceeded to tell me that it's fine for me to have a higher BMI than what is on the chart because I'm over 60. I was at 26.4, and then she said I could "lose a few." What? Okay, to be a little over 25 BMI, but lose a few? She said I should check out Weight Watcher's. I told her I'm on this site, and she said it's not "good enough." What??? I'm a polite person, so I didn't say anything about HER BMI or ask her if SHE goes to Weight Watchers because obviously, it's not working..
I have little respect for doctors that "do as I say not as I do." It's a large practice, so I'm wondering if I should request another more seasoned doctor. What do you think?