I cleaned something around the house today instead of eating. I got a lot of cleaning done because the urge to eat was overwhelming. So I ended up with a clean house, no guilt, and a lot satisfaction that a good choice was made.
I posted it here because there are so many of you and nobody ever reads my blogs
Sometimes people think I'm different. Sometimes they even say I'm different. That I should make an exception for the day or that I'm going to "blow away in the wind" or they just roll their eyes at me like my teenager might. Sometimes they just find other ways or other words to try to guilt me into eating things I wouldn't normally eat without their influence or at places that I simply don't want to. Sense I've found Spark People, I guess I've actually...become different.
Just today, I met a couple guys at McDonald's for breakfast so we could car pool to an all day meeting. I got there late because I ate yogurt and granola and the other half of the banana I started on the day before, so I didn't need to get there at the same time that they did. I wasn't interested in that kind of start to my day. I might add that it was less like I didn't want to and more like I just couldn't. It never was really an actual decision for me to make so I showed up there about the time they were finishing their sausage McMuffins and their deep fried potatoes and their cream laden coffees.
I don't feel the same way about sausage that I used to, and without even realizing it, I lost my hankering for it too. On Easter Sunday, there was a big platter of sausage patties and links on the buffet table there too and I didn't have a single one. I wasn't making a sacrifice, that's what is so shocking to me now thinking back on it. I wasn't even drawn to them so it's not like I chose alternatives. I chose stuff I preferred to put into my self. It's a work in progress. I know it's baby steps because if there had been bacon there, I would not have moved past that particular pile successfully. I do know however, that instead of taking 6 or 7 or 8 pieces of bacon like I used to do when confronted with a big mess of it, I would have taken at most, 3, maybe even only 1 or 2. And the stuff I did take, the stuff I really love? I took less of it. Heck there wasn't a lot of room left on my plate after I hit the salad and fruit selections anyway because somehow I knew to go there first. I knew to discriminate and give those fruits and veggies preferential treatment without even knowing I knew it. And my second trip back to that deadly grazing zone? It was for only 2 or 3 things and for very small amounts and not the second heaping plate full from days of old.
You know? Maybe it's not really baby steps after all. Maybe I've learned to walk steady and straight and instinctively. Maybe the hours I spend each and every day reading SP articles and tracking my food and tracking my fitness and searching knowledge and taking quizzes to confirm and strengthen that knowledge and interacting with other "different" Spark people who support me and congratulate me and strengthen my resolve and even call me out when I need it- has caused me to gradually change, little by little, so that I am now... different.
When my friends went back to another McDonald's during our lunch break today, I sat in the car and ate a pear, a muscle bar and some beef jerky I had brought from home. It took me seconds to throw it into the cloth bag along with my thermos of coffee and my water bottle before I left in the morning.. It gets easier and easier to be different, and it feels just fine to BE different. Most people I know are overweight and out of shape and when you think about it, don't you want to be different from them? I know I do!
I've lost 45 pounds sense January 15Th and when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I can't help but smile and say to myself- "Gosh, it is so good to be different!!
the best day of your life is the one you decide your life is your own. No apologizes or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours, you alone are responsible for the quality of it.