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HESOKE SparkPoints: (24)
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7/16/20 7:07 A

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I think you should always remain yourself, be sincere in front of yourself and in front of the environment, friends and family. If you want to lose weight, this is not a problem and others should understand you.
Losing weight has been my main goal recently. Not only lose weight, lose belly weight, but also gain muscle mass. I've done a lot for this. I changed my lifestyle, diet, nutrition, even tried legal anabolic supplements. I read a lot of information
about steroids. But I have achieved my goal. I have the body I dreamed of. None of my relatives turned away from me.

Edited by: HESOKE at: 7/19/2020 (16:34)
PATHFINDER52's Photo PATHFINDER52 Posts: 832
7/1/20 6:16 P

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Self-care of any sort takes tremendous commitment in our culture. Our friendships and even intimate relationships are often built around shared habits (and not always healthy habits).

We get sober, and we lose our "drinking buddies"
We lose weight, and we lose our "foodie friends" -- who mostly liked pizza
We get active, and we loose the couch potatoes who we'd binge-watch with
We begin to cook (instead of eating out) and we loose our out-to-lunch friends

It is time to find people who replenish and support the healthy habits that are important to us!

If the relationship is toxic, it serves no benefit to you in the long run!


Edited by: PATHFINDER52 at: 7/1/2020 (18:17)
The fact that I can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another's, smile at someone and receive a smile in return, are to me continual spiritual exercises.

-- Leo Buscaglia

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6/24/20 12:10 P

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Oh, saboteurs. What pains they are.

I think any change of habit can shake a relationship.

When I wanted to get more exercise, it was “taking time from him.” But he wouldn’t come along often. Yet, his decision to pass was my fault.

So changes opened the true fault lines in the relationship.

I left. Three years ago.

Now my time is mine. I am seeing someone. We occasionally are active together. He’s gotten me back in touch with some dream hikes I’d like to do.
It’s different when you don’t live together. It’s no big deal to make time for movement, choose the healthy food (or not, a downside is no external accountability), or use be a tad obsessive (thanks spark).

Wake up every day knowing you make the decision to begin your journey anew.

This choice in this moment defines now.
What is your now?

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NJJEZ1's Photo NJJEZ1 Posts: 652
6/22/20 5:34 P

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Jealousy.. Like Slimmerkiwi said focus on yourself. You must be working really hard!
Think about it. Your friends should be celebrating the loss with you.

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DMILLE40 SparkPoints: (81,666)
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2/6/20 9:31 P

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1/18/20 3:49 A

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Your weightloss was NOT the problem with your relationship falling apart. Sure, she may have blamed that for it, but the real fact is that your partner had insecurities and I would go so far as to say, quite likely mental health issues including anxiety (even if undiagnosed) given that she said she had moments where she felt suicidal and was afraid that you were going to leave her.

Another ex's response to your needing to lose weight "Oh no! I'm going to feed you lots of stuff!" - a lot of people make those comments but don't mean them.

I think that you need to focus on YOU and YOUR health/weight issues. I wonder if when you lost the weight the first time round, if you 'threw yourself' into it, then, too. People who make a lot of changes all at once will often fall off the wagon after having reached their goal. It is better to slow things down and let the weight come off slowly because it is far more likely to stay off for the long-term. The reason is because you are actually LEARNING a healthy lifestyle which becomes a life-long habit, and not focusing on just losing weight.


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1/17/20 11:10 P

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About 7 years ago, I changed my diet and went to the gym. I lost 60 lbs. About 4 months ago, I went to a doctor's appointments and realized I had gained back all the weight I had lost years ago. It was a big shock to me, and I threw myself into action. I realized I was deluding myself that I was being healthy when I wasn't--I'd have a salad here and there, but unhealthy stuff had crept back into my regular diet. It was a painful realization, but I took action. I started going to the gym three times a week, cutting out processed from my diet, and eating less. I've seen results, and I've lost about 40 lbs so far. I'm not quite down to where I was, but I'm getting there.

In that time, my relationship fell apart. I suspect the weight loss had a lot to do with it, because that was when things took a turn for the worse. She confided in me that she had moments where she felt suicidal. She said she was afraid I was going to leave her. She said she was afraid that our divergence in health habits was going to be a deal breaker for me.

We ate out a lot, and on my diet, there weren't as many places I could go. I started picking healthier places, and she started protesting. This never happened before--previously she was never picky about where we ate out at before. I started cooking healthier stuff at home since it was easier to manage calories, and she refused to eat what I made.

It fell apart and we aren't seeing each other a month ago. I realize that my choice to lose weight causes a lot of tension in my relationships because no one I dated before her approved of me losing weight. When I said I needed to lose weight to an ex in the past, she said, "Oh no! I'm going to feed you lots of stuff!"

I just wanted to share. And, I wanted to reach out to hear other stories. Have you ever had a relationship that was negatively impacted by weight loss?

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