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SURVIVOR61's Blogs

"Jet Fuel Alcoholics"
Sunday, January 08, 2017      8 comments

"Jet Fuel Alcoholics" Two airplane mechanics named Bob and Tim work at Atlanta airport. Atlanta gets fogged in one night and nothing can take off or land so Bob and Tim have nothing to do. After work Bob and Tim usually have a drink on th... Read more
Saturday, January 07, 2017      10 comments

"Life" The first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years. The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barki... Read more
"Man Was Desperate For A Job!"
Friday, January 06, 2017      9 comments

"Man Was Desperate For A Job!" A man is desperate for a job and finds himself at the zoo. The manager tells him there's only one job opening but he has to promise not to tell anyone about it. The man agrees, and so the manager whispers... Read more
"Blondes House Is On Fire!"
Wednesday, January 04, 2017      10 comments

"Blondes House Is On Fire!" One day a blonde called 911, screaming "Help me, Help me my house is on fire". The dispatch said "Mam, please calm down. I need to get some information from you". Again the blonde yelled "Help me, Help me m... Read more
"Student Got 0% On His Exam..."
Monday, January 02, 2017      7 comments

"Student Got 0% On His Exam..." STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM* Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? **his last battle* Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? **at the bottom of the page* Q3. River Ravi... Read more
"Drunk On The Way To A Lecture!"
Sunday, January 01, 2017      7 comments

"Drunk On The Way To A Lecture!" On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four ... Read more
"If You're Reading This. . . . . . . .
Saturday, December 31, 2016      12 comments

"If Your'e Reading This......" If you're reading this, looks like we both made it through another year. If I made you laugh...you're welcome. If I made you cry...I'm sorry. If I made you laugh until you cried...you're welcome. If... Read more
"His First Safari!"
Friday, December 30, 2016      9 comments

"His First Safari!" Heading into the jungle on his first safari, the American visitor was confident he could handle any emergency. He sidled up to the experienced native guide and said smugly, “I know that carrying a torch will keep lion... Read more
"The Alien & The Farmer"
Thursday, December 29, 2016      5 comments

"The Alien" An alien space ship landed in a farmer's yard. He disembarked and was greated by the farmer. The alien asked the farmer if he had any cattle. On hearing that cattle were available, he offered $1 MIllion for the cattle. The... Read more
"Panda With A Gun!"
Wednesday, December 28, 2016      5 comments

"Panda With A Gun!" A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You... Read more
"Two Men At The Pearly Gates!"
Tuesday, December 27, 2016      7 comments

"Two Men At The Pearly Gates!" Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second. "I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to f... Read more
"Two Senior Citizens Dorothy & Edna!,
Wednesday, December 21, 2016      15 comments

"Two Senior Citizens Dorothy & Edna!, Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. Dorothy: "That nice H.B.J. asked me out for a date.? I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give h... Read more
"Rules For The Females!"....
Monday, December 19, 2016      9 comments

"Rules For The Females!".... We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a bi... Read more
And That's When the Fight Started!"
Friday, December 09, 2016      6 comments

"And That's When The Fight Started!" Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror a... Read more
"Man Walks Into A Bar With An Ostrich!"
Thursday, December 08, 2016      12 comments

"Man Walks Into A Bar With An Ostrich!" A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order. The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have a ... Read more

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