SP Premium
350,000-499,999 SparkPoints 480,792

KITTYHAWK1949's Blogs

jokes day 265
Wednesday, November 18, 2020      15 comments

A painter got a call from the gallery that was showing his work. The gallery owner said, "I have good news and bad news. A fellow came in this morning and asked if your work is the kind that would increase in value after the artist's death. I... Read more
jokes day 264
Tuesday, November 17, 2020      12 comments

A woman goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, Doctor, you have to help me. Every time I go to the bathroom, dimes come out." The doctor tells her to relax, go home, rest with her feet up, and come back in a week. A week later the woman retu... Read more
jokes day 263
Monday, November 16, 2020      11 comments

Woman: So give it to me straight, Doctor. I want to know the truth. Doctor.: Very well. Your husband is in terrible shape, and if you want him to live, you're going to have to make sure he's well fed and comfortable and happy at all times,... Read more
jokes day 262
Sunday, November 15, 2020      10 comments

A ninety-year-old man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, my wife, who is eighteen, is expecting a baby." The doctor said, "Let me tell you a story. A man went hunting, but instead of his gun, he picked up an umbrella by mistake. And when... Read more
jokes day 261
Saturday, November 14, 2020      11 comments

Pharmacist: Sir, pardon me for asking, but every week you come in here to my drugstore and buy two dozen condoms. Customer: Yes? Pharmacist: It's none of my business, but how on earth do you use that many condoms a week? Customer: I fe... Read more
jokes day 260
Friday, November 13, 2020      10 comments

The doctor calls up the patient and says, "I have some bad news and some worse news. The bad news is that you have only twenty-four hours to live." And the patient says, "That is very bad news. What could be worse than that?" And the doctor ... Read more
jokes day 259
Thursday, November 12, 2020      14 comments

"What's wrong, Doctor? You look puzzled." "I can't figure out exactly what's wrong with you. I think it's the result of heavy drinking." "Well then, I'll just come back when you're sober." Didn't exercise today. Not sure why. When I... Read more
jokes day 258
Wednesday, November 11, 2020      10 comments

"Doctor, I don't know what's wrong with me, but I hurt all over. If I touch my shoulder here, it hurts, and if I touch my leg here, it hurts, and if I touch my head here, it hurts, and if I touch my foot here, it hurts." " I believe you've br... Read more
jokes day 257
Tuesday, November 10, 2020      11 comments

"Mrs. Larson, you're not going deaf in your left ear. You seem to have a suppository stuck in there!" "Well, now I know what happened to my hearing aid." Patient: Doctor, every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm. Doctor: Are you taking ... Read more
jokes day 256
Monday, November 09, 2020      14 comments

Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? Dentist: Ninety dollars. Patient: Ninety dollars for just a few minutes' work? Dentist: I can do it slower if you like. Was so sorry to hear that Alex Trebek died today. Jeopardy! is m... Read more
jokes day 255
Sunday, November 08, 2020      11 comments

"Doctor, my fingers hurt. Do you think I should file my nails?" "No, just throw them away." "Doctor, am I going to die?" "That's the last thing you're going to do." Older son is in Dallas to visit his friend who had moved there w... Read more
jokes day 254
Saturday, November 07, 2020      12 comments

"Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room." "Tell him I can't see him now." "Doctor, you told me I have a month to live and then you sent me a bill for $1,000! I can't pay that before the end of the month!" "Okay, you hav... Read more
jokes day 253
Friday, November 06, 2020      12 comments

"I have terrible news, Mr. Larson. You have cancer and you have Alzheimer's." "Well, Doctor, at least I don't have cancer." "Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Come now, pull yourself together." Have a great Friday. Peace ... Read more
jokes day 252
Thursday, November 05, 2020      13 comments

Doctor: What seems to be the matter? Patient: I have a sore throat, Doctor. I ache, I have a fever. Doctor: Sounds like some kind of virus. Patient: Everyone in the office has it. Doctor: Well then, maybe it's a staff infection. ... Read more
jokes day 251
Wednesday, November 04, 2020      12 comments

A party of economists was climbing in the Alps. After several hours they became hopelessly lost. One of them studied the map for some time, turning it up and down, sighting on distant landmarks, consulting his compass and the sun. Finally he ... Read more

« First Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 Last Page »