A month ago, i decided to get sober. I had lost my appetite while binge drinking for the past year, and, gratefully, my appetite didnt return. I was surprised, day after day, I had no interest in alcohol or food. I took advantage of this op... Read more
This chart shows that I am right on the mark when it comes to breaking down what I eat into the 3 categories: protein, fat, and the dreaded carbohyd... Read more
Failure lies not in falling down...
“If you have made mistakes, even serious mistakes, you may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down."- author Mary Pickford
Every time I leave SP, I stay gone b... Read more
5 years and 152 pounds later...
It's been almost a week since I decided to get back on my food plan and go to the gym 3x/week.
You'd think that, at 47, I would have stopped being a... Read more
Staying on track
It's been a year since my last blog, and I've gained 50 pounds since. It's a hard thing to admit and an even more difficult thing to fix. But if I can do even 60% of the c... Read more
Proverbs 17:1 A dry crust eaten in peace is better than a great feast with strife.
The summer is over and my birthday is coming up: 11-11-11. I had planned to spend these past 12 weeks working out and eating right so that I could give mysel... Read more
On Losing 152 Pounds
This blog is dedicated to my SP Friend WillowWind, who struggled so valiantly with malignant obesity. She was only 44. Rest in peace, dear, dear lady.
In Decem... Read more
Me on my Cybex Arc Trainer in June 2010
I was about 290 pounds when this video was made. I bought this outstanding machine from a gym for $1,200 (it's about $7,000 new). It's built for people up to 400 pounds and is proven to minimize stress to the knee joints.... Read more
Adoption has been a painful theme through the course of my life. When I was a baby, my mother married a man who adopted me and changed my name. Five years later, he divorced her and abandoned me. When I was 15, my mom took off and I was left to ... Read more
July 2010 Chicago LATE Ride
I was so ashamed of my size that I didn't have the courage to upload this video at the time it was made. I weighed about 290 pounds, which was 60 pounds down from my heaviest. I was participating in Chicago's LATE ride, which starts at midnight ... Read more
Shame and Pride
Shame is “an acutely self-conscious state in which the self is 'split,' imagining the self in the eyes of the other.”
The crux of the problem of shame is the imagining part. At 350 pounds, I assumed that others thought I was lazy, ignorant,... Read more
I am desperate to meet the Ginger that was meant to be, the girl poised to graduate into the best class of women. Though she can walk and talk like them now, she masks the depth of her depravity.
Within that class, there is a woman toward ... Read more
Jealousy is no friend of fitness
I recently babysat for a nice family. As nice families do, they offered me free and limitless access to their fridge, pantry, and cabinets. I vainly protested: “I can’t in... Read more
I could not sleep last night. My son is dropping out of high school. My mortgage jumped a prohibitive $400 a month. I have a court date in the morning. And I still mourn t... Read more
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Thieves and Victims
A thief spotted a purse overflowing with money on a park bench. No one around, he grabbed the purse and took off. The woman who had left her purse on the bench “just for a... Read more