Been a long time

I thought it had been months since I joined here, and I see it's actually been over a year and a half. Yikes, where did the time go. It's not like my days are filled with excitement.

I had gained about fifteen pounds in that time, and about five months ago my husband and I joined TOPS. I've lost the fifteen pounds, so I'm exactly where I started (well actually a little under a half pound to lose until I'm at 355, my Sparks joining weight.

I was really excited when I first visited and saw all of the options available on this site, but I think I was overwhelmed. I didn't know where to start, and I thought it would be way to complicated or difficult to use most of the features. Coming back, I see that how complicated I want to make this is up to me. How much time I want to spend is up to me. And what I learn from it - also up to me. (Darned personal responsibility )

Logging my food today was easier than I thought. I still will use my handwritten log because I like the nifty exchange worksheet I created. Whether or not I log here every day, not sure yet.

I really think that I have to come here daily. If I don't think about weight loss every day (sometimes it feels like every minute) I tend to backtrack. It's so frustrating and stressful, because I want it to be like breathing, unconscious and instinctive. I don't know if I'll ever be there. But, I imagine - what would it be like if breathing weren't automatic. What i I had to consciously choose to breathe? Would I complain about it? Probably. Actually almost definitely. But, would I consider it too much trouble, not worth the effort? I tend to think I'd give it everything I've got.