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I feel like I'm losing it today. My brain makes me despair. It is prone to moments of absolute brilliance but at the same time it is capable of dropping off the earth and betraying me. My illness has the power to overwhelm me and to bring me down and throw me right down into the pit of blackness - but sometimes my mind can lift me up and place me where few humans can walk.

Right now I just want it all to stop. I want to get out of the spiral to float in an area where there is no more pain - - - to be free from all of this stuff that ties me to myself and ties me to my past. I hope I don't have to relive any of the traumas that I have already faced. It is time to end it.
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