Sunday, June 13, 2021
I spent last night so sick to my stomach that I couldn't lie down today. Why? Because I ate too much food. Now this morning I stepped on the scale and see progress rather than the gain I was expecting. So what do I do today? Eat two cinnamon rolls and full meals! Why the heck do I do this to myself?! I'm so confused and angry at myself that I could scream (but that would wake up the dog).
Why do I do this? I keep trying to deliver deeper into my mind and the only thing I can come up with is that change is scary and if I don't change, then it won't be so scary. Right? Make sense? No. I just don't get it.
At least the dog is here with me, ups and downs. He's still pretty gimpy with his foot still healing from a dislocated toe. I've got medicine for him, but he still doesn't want to put much weight on that foot. I don't blame him!
So now I'm sitting here with an upset stomach because I couldn't find the willpower to walk away from those blasted cinnamon rolls. It's not their fault they're delicious. Or that they're my Achilles heel. Too late now and there are only two left in the house.