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Monday, June 07, 2021

As a result of The ex Worker Friend[?] emailing recently raising the question of finances, I've been going through our correspondence over the last few years to kind of get my ducks in a row as it were.  Also to figure out what I consider fair.  As a result of which, I haven't been pushing on with the more physical decluttering.

But dealing with this stuff is a kind of decluttering in itself I reckon.  Not to mention it has led to me sorting out my more recent bank statements!  I will probably respond to his email tomorrow.  However I phrase it, he isn't going to like it.  Not my problem.  Well, it will be uncomfortable no doubt but ultimately, not a problem.  My email to him will probably be brief and matter of fact.  There are so many things I'm angry with him about and yet, I no longer feel the need to tell him.  The dynamics have changed beyond recognition.  

That's the thing with decluttering I find.  You think you're just getting rid of 'stuff' but it throws up all sorts of memories and emotions.  Ultimately though, if it leads you to deal with the emotional stuff, it's good.  And if it turns out you're not ready - that's OK too.  I am now.  Like I say, the dynamics have changed.  

Years ago my friend Edna used to know the minute she saw me at the school gates, if I was troubled.  She'd put her arms around me and say "just breathe, breathe with me sweetie, it's all a process, just breathe with me".  The final thing after 'breathing'?  Let it go.


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