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Come Healing

Friday, April 02, 2021

I rode my bike the 9 miles RT to my (private) piano class on campus yesterday. Though it was full sun, it was nippy (55 degrees) and there was wind from the north at 11mph going there, which thankfully didn't get any stronger on my ride home.

I said hello to my neighbors on the way out.

and came within ten ft. of an exquisite departing great blue heron on this little waterway.

It was wonderful to have my first in-person class in over a year. I’ve been sending videos to her of pieces I’m working on. Very unsatisfactory way to study.

Since we've completed both vacs, a dear San Francisco girlfriend and I are heading to the Caribbean for a brief (one week) stay near the end of the month. I'm overjoyed on one level and troubled on another.

The good news is that at 79 years old I continue to maintain a high level of physical health. I am feeling particularly unattractive and self-critical though. And the fact is that I'm faltering -- I've hesitated to even post recently, because it's the same ol' thing. The yo-yo-effect. I was 147.4 in mid-December. Today I'm 150.6.

One of my important teachers, Pema Chodron, talks about testing...and healing. And I guess, for me to finally truly heal, I must make room for it all.

"Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy."

A beloved Leonard Cohen song, COME HEALING, has been my theme song recently:

O, gather up the brokenness
Bring it to me now
The fragrance of those promises
You never dared to vow

The splinters that you carried
The cross you left behind
Come healing of the body
Come healing of the mind

And let the heavens hear it
The penitential hymn
Come healing of the spirit
Come healing of the limb

Behold the gates of mercy
In arbitrary space
And none of us deserving
Of cruelty or the grace

O, solitude of longing
Where love has been confined
Come healing of the body
Come healing of the mind

O, see the darkness yielding

That tore the light apart
Come healing of the reason
Come healing of the heart

O, troubledness concealing
An undivided love
The heart beneath is teaching
To the broken heart above

And let the heavens falter
Let the earth proclaim
Come healing of the altar
Come healing of the name

O, longing of the branches
To lift the little bud
O, longing of the arteries
To purify the blood

And let the heavens hear it
The penitential hymn
Come healing of the spirit
Come healing of the limb

O let the heavens hear it
The penitential hymn
Come healing of the spirit
Come healing of the limb

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Here's to having room and letting it happen!
    Good to see you my friend.
    38 days ago
    Loved the pictures!! Be kinder to yourself. A good personality and ready smile go a long way toward making one attractive. We are aging with grace.
    38 days ago
    I always wondered how my grandmother felt as she aged. She was a winner of a beauty contest at the age of 16. When I came along she in her mid 50's. As I grew up I recall her dyeing her hair black and always wearing red lipstick and oh! There was wax! Hot wax on the moustache!!
    Her husband died before I was old enough to know him. I was 10 months old when grandpa died of internal injuries from a car accident. So of course I thought she must be looking for a new husband which was the reason she kept dyeing her gray hair black and kept on wearing makeup - rouged cheeks and ruby red lips. She remained a widow, although I teased her about an old man named Pete who used to walk through the bush from him cabin by the train tracks to grandma's cabin in the woods.
    This is what I know for sure: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But we must be kind to ourselves no matter what, because we are all creative geniuses who are important components to each other's stories and lives, and to the expansion of the Universe. There is much love here for you!
    38 days ago
    Love the Leonard Cohen.

    But but but . . . you look to me the very picture of health and wellness from the inside out. That 3 .2 pound weight differential does not seem very much to me: in the context of your life, rich in nature and music and friendship and deep spiritual power.
    38 days ago
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