DEAR MELISSA, I DO LOVE YOU!
Monday, March 15, 2021
I've never really sent myself a love letter, but it is part of my weekend challenge, so here goes....
I know you have a strong self esteem, but even so you still take note of all you do wrong and with Covid and so much more isolation you do focus on what is wrong with you and that is wrong!
Look at what you have done in your life! You lost your eyesight in your early 20s, around age 23, to type 1 Diabetes. You were scared and angry, but you knew this happened for a reason and the reason was to save your life. to teach you how non-invincible you are! You went away for 9 months and learned how to live your life with no sight. You thought people wouldn't like you because you thought that people only payed attention to looks, appearance, and not who you were. Yet, you made many long lasting precious friends based on your personality and sense of humor.
You met the man you would marry at home during this time too. You were unsure about him because he wasn't a "bad b'oy"! but, what you learned is that you were worthy of a man who is a good man and who wants to care for you.
So much happended during the intervening years. You returned to college and got an associates degree in business Admin, a bachelors in Industrial/Organizational Psych with a minor in Leadership Studdies and then went on for a masters of education in Coummunity & College Counseling. Melissa, you did all of this with a 4.0 GPA and your first paying job as a blind person was as a math tutor!! girl, if that ain't impressive, I don't know what is!
After graduating with your masters you went to work in Mental health emergency Services, Teaching Psychology at the same Community College that you attended as a student and worked as a tutor. During that time you also went to work on getting licensed as a Licensed Professional counselor, which you did! You worked in Emergency Services with severely mentally ill clients and managed to help them find the help they needed whether it be involuntary hospitalization, substance abuse treatment, counseling or any other number of services. You were able to stay calm in the midst of chaos and use your skills to help calm family members. During this time you also provided one on one counseling, group counseling and everythign that goes along with it all!
While working in mental health your sister died and your brother, her twin, both died within 4 months of each other. Your sister in a car accident and your brother due to complications of diabetes. Melissa, at this time you never thought you could go on, but somehow you did because giving up just didn't seem like an option.
In the more recent past you lost your mother, dog and dad. You visited your dad every day when he was dying. You found people to take you for the 2 hour drive to stay with him daily. He died in your arms as did your beloved dog, jack!
and, somehow you are here. I often wonder why you are here and think that a sort of survivor's guilt is what makes it so hard for you to stick to a healthy diet. I think that deep down you don't feel like you should be the one still alive! After all, honestly, your entire family assumed you would die first and here you are, the only one standing!
In even more recent times you have returned to church which would make your parents so happy! but, you realize god has a purpose for you and you need to stay healthy and strong for that purpose, whatever it is! Because, Melissa, you deserve to live and to live with joy! You deserve to live as a healthy person. You need to live and continue to be a close tie to your nephew, your husband, your dog.
Melissa, I love who you are and who you continue to grow into. I want to treat you better and will work hard to do that! With love & prayers, Melissa to Melissa