Wednesday, March 03, 2021
I'm feeling frustrated.
People are not doing their part and it's affecting me directly.
When you say you will do something - do it. If you cannot do it, ensure it's passed on to someone who will make it happen.
I'm struggling with the medical obesity centre and being told I'm registered for a group medical appointment, taking time off work and canceling clients to attend, then discovering I'm not registered - there is still time and I sent a 2nd email, spoke on the phone and am crossing my fingers I am registered for the Thursday session.
There are other struggles including being told by email I am dealing with severe depression based on a couple assessments I filled out in November 2020. I work in the field. The assessments are a tool for diagnosis, they are not the diagnosis. To properly be diagnosed requires an interview combined with filling out assessment questionnaires and often, blood tests are required to rule out other underlying medical conditions that may be creating the depression (or creating an appearance of depression).
I know depression, we are "buddies" - we met when I was 8 and while depression goes on vacation, they always return for visits. I have used medication in the past successfully and other times, talk counseling assisted to rise above the depression and other times DBT was really effective. While I've been trained in CBT and have used the techniques in the past with the depression, I find it's not as effective for me, as talk therapy and DBT.
I have been directed to take a CBT course through BC Mental Health Association, offered by the obesity centre. I bought the materials - way too much money for online books ($39) - and will start on Thursday. It is a 8 week course.
We are required to take courses after the core course, to stay in the program and as much as I complain, my hope is by doing this I'm showing them I take all this serious and they will in turn, take me seriously. From there, I will be provided with assistance to lose the weight as one pound a week is not cutting it - especially when I plateau and/or gain while losing.
All I want is to be as pain free as I can be, knowing I have and will always live with some level of pain. I want the pain down enough to stand longer than 5 minutes and be able to walk without having to find a place to rest, after 5 minutes.
On another topic, I met with my new RMT on Sunday. She's a lovely lady. She went in hard and worked on breaking up the scar tissue which has formed around the injuries. I haven't felt that type of pain in a very long time as my previous RMT has been carrying out light massage, as she was worried about setting off muscle spasms/cramps. (which I take muscle relaxants to stop, over the past year) I was able to breathe through and at the end of the session, it did feel a little bit loose.
However, the next day I woke up and I was in pain - my back was heavily bruised. I took two extra-strength Advil, 2 muscle relaxants, stretched in the shower and went to work.
I'm still feeling it in my shoulders.
I am walking better.
I will though ask her to lighten up a wee bit, as my back was covered in bruises and I'm still dealing with after-pain. The unfortunate part which I didn't know about until after I met with her, she only works twice a week. I require regular massage, at least every 3 weeks. I prefer every 2 weeks, as my body responds really well to massage treatment. It's very hard to get an appointment. She's trying to sort out our next appointment.
Weather wise - we went from -35C to +5C in one week, then dropped to -20C and back up to +8C overnight. We had snow drop down heavy, then watched it melt away as it rained the next day. It is very icy off the main roads and driveways are a mess. It's still winter and March is a fickle month. My hope is on the 16th it is a lovely day as it is the 3rd attempt to take the folks to their eye specialist appointments in the city.
School - wrote the midterm exam and am waiting for the mark. I received an A- on my last paper which is an improvement from C+. I'm still struggling on one concept and will have to sort it out, as that concept is required for the remainder of the papers.
I hope you are all doing well. I will read blogs on the weekend, as the evenings are being filled with school, medical appointments and taking naps.
Take care all!!
Take good care and I will get in to read blogs on the weekend.