I’m getting pretty tired of the ups and downs of life that I usually handle so well, if I do say so myself.
My guy is still awaiting the bureaucratic ok to get the contrast mri on his neck and brain to try to find a solution to his pain and increasing debilitation. He does not seem to be in quite as much pain as he is managing his medications better (Gabapentin) and staying busy...spends 2+ hours every morning getting our grandkids off to school clean and fed and prepared for a good day.
Btw, Lucy, who refused to go back to school for a while after daddy died, has settled in at school...not happy, but going every day.
It is still too cold for wimpy me to walk and I’m a bit nervous about walking too much with my bad foot (getting cortisone shots every few months to delay surgery until I see what happens with David’s health issue) and I am sooo bad at exercising at home.
I went to the gym once and felt safe and then went back a few days later and sadly did NOT.
All I do is ten minutes here and ten minutes there every day of stretching and some ST.
My fasting is going well...16-18-20 hours 5 or 6 days a week...have I lost any weight this month?
But I have been out to dinner several times...our restaurants are doing a great job keeping us safe. We went out for my b-day a few weeks ago and then again this week to celebrate our first vaccine.
And now more sad news in my big extended family.
My niece, 51, has died of an overdose.
Heather struggled all her life with substance abuse.
She was smart and beautiful and had a wonderful sense of humor and a loud and lovely laugh.
She had (and lost) 4 children over the years but loved them nonetheless.
They are young adults now and all devastated.
She also loved her five young grandchildren.
She tried so hard to stay alive.
We had our own little joke whenever I saw her when we kept telling each other we were beautiful...because she looked so much like me, especially when she was younger before her tough life destroyed her looks.
Here she is (long blonde hair) with her mom, daughter, and sisters.
So I just need all of this to stop, please.
I know I am lucky...safe and sound and snug in a warm home with plenty of food (
) and with the man of my dreams but I am feeling so sad today.
Hmmm...just realized that once again I have let my afternoon meditation practice slip away...that will change today as I know that always helps.
Also, just got a huge pile of new books passed on to me by a friend so I need to give myself permission to rest and read.
Thanks for listening...just writing about it led me to my path to feeling better.