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Pre-sorting Pep Talk

Sunday, February 21, 2021

I have struggled with clutter and organization for decades. I know there is a strong link to the childhood abuse, where I had no control over my environment. I'm learning how trauma affects brain function, which can make the process especially challenging. This is currently a primary focus of my work with a wonderful new therapist, and this document grew out of our discussions. I do a lot of internal parts work, so "we" refers to my parts collectively. Bossy happens to be one of my strongly opinionated parts. I created this document and read it before each sorting session.

Pre-sorting Pep Talk

Bossy’s plea (paraphrased from 2/11/21 journal entry):

We’ll never create the space and environment we want and deserve if we don’t put in consistent effort. We don’t have to be perfect and we don’t have to push ourselves, but it won’t ever get done if WE don’t *do it*! Please.

I want this for all of us. We deserve space to breathe and move around easily and have friends over without embarrassment. And we deserve to have things around us that we really want and use—and to be able to find them and use them and then put them away easily in their own special homes. We want and need that, but *we’re* the only ones who can do it.

Mantras:

I demonstrate my love and self-care by eliminating clutter everywhere. We demonstrate our love and self-care when we reduce clutter anywhere.

I easily let go of what I no longer need. I joyfully release all that does not serve me. I easily choose a good place for what I own. I enjoy putting things in a good home.

Questions to ask:

Why am I keeping this?
Do I need it?
What purpose does it serve?
Does it have a home?
What does it represent? The now me or the me I want to be, or a past version of me? Am I ready to release that old identity?
If it’s hard to decide, why? What makes me hesitate? What’s coming up?

Parts/characters who can lead a sorting session:
Explorer, detective, decorator, historian, exterminator

[I may add to and refine this for myself, but wanted to share in case it helps anybody else. I use the asterisks to denote where I underlined in my Word document. Blessed Be, Amanda]
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LESLIEJEAN43
    This is great! I also went through a lot of childhood abuse, and am now dealing with clutter. Interesting that they are probably connected.
    I have a LOT of work to do here, and I'm feeling pressured to do it soon because of my age (almost 78) - I do not want to leave this mess behind for others to deal with.

    emoticon for sharing your thoughts!

    emoticon
    70 days ago
  • WATREKKIE
    emoticon questions to ask, sweetie!! I so relate to the 1st one...why am I keeping this? If my answer starts with "I *might* want/need it someday..." - time to take a closer look!! Thanks for sharing.... emoticon
    82 days ago
  • 75HEALTHYME
    Thank you for sharing.

    82 days ago
  • MRS_EVA_K
    These internal discussions are so important. Hard but Important. I'm glad Bossy has you motivated!
    82 days ago
  • I_CHOOSE
    emoticon
    82 days ago
  • FITMARY
    I easily let go of what I no longer need. LOVE THIS!
    Sounds like a great plan. Good luck!
    emoticon
    83 days ago
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