The last month of the year is here! and with it my 117th day of consecutive meditation!
I've blogged about the benefits of meditation...and this can be chalked up to another one, I guess. I just want to make a note about this Thanksgiving...the strangest one I have experienced in a while...and the most contented one on record.
We gathered at my in-laws (in their late 70s) - there were 9 of us in total: my family of 5, my SIL and BIL, and my in-laws. The windows were open. We wore masks. We socially distanced. We sat at separate tables. We did a buffet. We washed our hands. We even went outside for a bit after the rain dissipated.
The contentedness came from the fact that we were all being so conscious of doing the right thing for one another. There was no question that if we didn't do this right, we didn't gather at all. Period.
In a year where I personally experienced a great loss in my father's sudden passing, there was no grief. In fact, there is gladness and calm, because he really would have been irked at a lot of things...and he's in a better place. I don't have to worry about him.
In past years I have loathed the holiday season...from the first Xmas song being played on the radio; to the changing of the social media profile pic to the Grinch (fact); to the grinchiness and complaining of "doing everything myself" - from decorating to gift buying; to beating myself up at how I stink at buying gifts... as well as receiving them. I can go on, but you get the gist...
This year, there seems to be none of that in my system (at the moment). I made a priority list of "must decorate" items (tree and mantles) and have left the rest up to "if I get to it;" I have bought things for people when I thought of them - in fact, things I like are the gifts and I'm giving everyone the same thing! (very much like my late father LOL - I am his daughter after all! LOL). I gave my in-laws an early Xmas present on Thanksgiving because I knew it would bring joy to the occasion. Why wait?!? Life's too short!
I recruited my hubby to buy the gifts for the boys. I raised my white flag. Pressure is off and I am happy for that...and he's happy to help. Win-win!
I wrapped presents when the mood stuck me the other day during my lunch hour!
I have watched several holiday feel-good tv shows and movies (also because I've binge watched everything on Netflix at this point and pickin's are slim LOL)
I did not change my profile pic to the Grinch.
So what's the biggest difference? Meditation and mindfulness. Being present in the moment.
There has been such a profound change that even my hubby has suggested I meditate when he sees me get anxious and "off."
This has even led me to doing online yoga sessions to focus a little bit more on movement and feeling good. Another positive change in the self-care realm!
When I look back at a year ago - going through core needle biopsies and seeing a breast surgeon - my stress level was off the charts, my weight was creeping up slowly thanks to emotional eating and drinking, and I wound up completely missing Christmas Day due to a burnt out system. A body can only take so much before it puts on the breaks all on its own. I have to thank it for doing that because it was a turning point in my health.
Next week I go for a mammogram...with a follow-up appointment with my breast surgeon. I've reduced alcohol to a rarity. I've lost a solid 10 pounds. I'm taking Tamoxifen to reduce breast cancer risk even more than just living healthy. I'm managing side effects with diet and meditation...which I can honestly say those are minimal to none.
Am I nervous about the mammogram? if I didn't say yes, I would be lying. Of course I am, but the MRI 6 months ago came back clear, so I am feeling pretty good about the mammo/sono visit. I'll breathe through the anxiety, feel the emotions, work through them, and tackle the next steps in care with a clear head.
I just looked back at this blog and it's one of those random thoughts ones! LOL Lots going on in the old noggin today!
Better out than in! Hahaha
You never know what can happen in a year...this one is no exception in the least!
Be well, be safe, be strong, be supportive!