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jokes and false confession. day

Saturday, November 21, 2020

False Confession Day is November 21, 2020. I bet you have been waiting for today, in eager anticipation. For some unknown, yet wacky reason, the creator of this day, thought it would be fun to encourage false confessions.

Did you do it or not? If you did, mum's the word today. But, if you didn't do it, then today is your day to offer up a false confession.

Caution:

While this day sounds like a lot of fun, use caution while participating. A false confession can get you in a heap of trouble in a hurry. So, please don't make any false confession that will cause injury or harm to you or others.

Here are a few of our do's and don'ts as examples:

Don't falsely admit to a crime.
Don't falsely tell of someone lost, killed or injured.

Don't falsely confess a relationship or love affair.

Do confess to kissing your dog on the lips.

Have a happy False Confession Day!!
I thought this would be a fun day/
jokes
The Doctor has told Will that he should start a fitness programm.
........and Will, not wanting to harm his old, rather corpulent, body, has decided to put the following weekly regimen into practice:
Day 1
Beat around the bush several times
Jump to conclusions all the time emoticon
Climb the walls
Wade through the daily paper from start to finish
Day 2
Drag my heels constantly
Push my luck all the time
Make mountains out of mole hills
Hit the nail on the head regularly
Day 3 emoticon
Bend over backwards
Jump onto the latest bandwagon
Run around in circles all day
Day 4
Advise the congress how to run the country
Blow my own trumpet constantly
Pull out all the stops for just today
Add fuel to the fire

Day 5
Open a can of worms
Put my foot in my mouth regularly
Start the ball rolling often
Go over the edge in the evening
Day 6
Pick up the pieces
Raise the roof
Lift a pint many times
Skip the washing up
Day 7
Kneel in prayer
Bow my head in thanksgiving
Raise my hands in praise
Hug and cuddle someone and encourage them
What an amazing workout!

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. ‘Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you. ‘No problem, just let me in,' says the man. ‘Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity. ‘Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the senator. ‘I’m sorry, but we have our rules. ‘And with that, St.Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator raises...The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. ‘Now it's time to visit heaven. ‘So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. ‘Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity. ‘The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell. ‘So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the senator. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened? ‘The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning....Today you voted.'
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