Anxiety Attack seeing the Rheumatologist

First off this weekend, I did not behave and ate badly. But we did a lot of outside stuff as a family since it was nice out.

Okay, I am having a really bad anxiety attack about going to see the Rheumatologist. I have seen one since they told me at 12 years old that I was going to be in a wheelchair at 18 years old. I showed them and still do at 32 I am still not in a wheelchair. I stopped all medication at 12 years old because at that time most meds made women sterile. I am worried about needles, I am worried about them lecturing me about not going to the doctors. I am worried they are going to say I need surgery. I am scared to death.

Of course no one can go with me because of covd.