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jokes and October review and November goals

Saturday, November 07, 2020

October review
1. lose weight- I now weigh 171.0 so I lost weight
2. drink at least 6 cups of water a day - didn't do this
3. keep up my exercise streak I am now on day ,1248
, 4. keep up with my teams - did this
5. really take this healthy journey seriously - starting to do this
6. eat 3 freggies , one being a veggie working on this
7. don't eat on couch - did this
8.start reading my bible reading again -need to do this
9. get on my wii at least 3 days a week - haven't done this
10.read one of my books at least 4 time a week at home - did this
11. don't eat candy- doing really good on this
November goals :
l lose weight I now weigh 171.0 what is a weight loss
2. drink at least 6 cups of water a day
3. keep up my exercise streak I am now on day ,,1248
4. keep up with my teams -
5. really take this healthy journey seriously -
6. eat 3 freggies , one being a veggie
7. don't eat on couch -
8.start reading my bible reading again
9. get on my wii at least 3 days a week
10.read one of my books at least 4 time a week at home
jokes:
jokes
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years .

This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight….”

GUINNESS STOUT

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."
the bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser."
The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors."
He gets it.
guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke."
The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?"
The Guinness president replied, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."


Scale Convention
At the scale manufacturers' convention, people often wanted to weigh themselves on different scales to see if they agreed. However, some visitors abstained, not wishing to advertise their weight. A smooth-talking representative coaxed a woman onto his scale by promising her that he would not look and that she could even cover the digital display so only she could see her weight.
She finally stood on the scale, whereupon a loud, mechanical voice from within the machine announced: "One hundred and sixty-three."

A customer in a bakery was observed carefully examining all the rich-looking pastries displayed on trays in the glass cases.
A clerk approached him and asked, "What would you like?" He answered, "I'd like that chocolate-covered, cream-filled doughnut, that jelly-filled doughnut and that cheese Danish."
Then with a sigh he added, "But I'll take an oat-bran muffin
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