In My Own Way
Wednesday, October 07, 2020
Ha, now that I re-read the title, I realize that it can be read two different ways.
1. In My Own Way -- The sordid tale of one woman's attempt at finding her 'self' ... in her *own* way.
2. In My Own Way -- The true story of how I prevent myself from doing things by listening to the dumb part of my brain.
This blog will probably be a combination of the two.
I get in my own way. We all do. I also like to do things my own way. We all do. However, what I can tell you is that my own way doesn't work when I have little to no support, or little to no understanding from those around me.
It was interesting at work today, two ladies I work with had both been significantly overweight. One I know for certain had weight loss surgery (she told me so) and the other one I'm guessing did as well since she mentioned she was over 420 pounds, but I'm not certain. I will find out though.
What was refreshing was that these are two women who were HONEST about their high weights, their struggles, and it was like all of a sudden, I knew that if I started talking about wanting to lose weight that I would be supported. And that if I talked about exercising or healthy meals, that I wouldn't be "annoying" because they "get it' ... heck, my male boss does Weight Watchers and loves it.
It's comforting to feel comfortable about this, to be honest about things, and to not have to feel that I have to hide the fact that I'm trying to eat better and move more. I was asked the other day where was my car... because I'd parked farthest away from the building simply so I would MOVE more. "Everyone should be taking turns doing that. We all need to move more." It was so nice to hear that this idea wasn't like, 'oh, there's the poor fat girl trying to get her steps in for her FitBit goal."
I also have a coworker that would also like to lose weight and get in shape but has never been an exerciser. I told her I would be her quasi-trainer because I really, honestly do love to exercise (More on that in a minute)... she seemed pretty excited about that. But she's also been really overwhelmed at work, so I let her borrow my copy of "Hyperbole and a Half" by Allie Brosh ... which, if you've never heard of it / read it, you should. It was my act of kindness because I think Stephanie needed a good dose of, "YOU ARE NOT ALONE."
Now... about that exercise....
I watched "Brittany Runs A Marathon" for the second time tonight. Highly recommend that as well. And when she got to the point where she didn't think she could continue, and then heard her friends cheer, I was brought to tears... again. See, if you don't know, my race resume is of decent length, including two half marathons. And I know that feeling. I will never forget as I came to the finish line in Detroit and they announced my name and city and there were THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE cheering for me that I didn't know as I crossed the timing pad. Or when my parents surprised me at the end of my second half marathon in Traverse City. Like, big sobby tears, crying, you guys.
AND I MISS IT. I miss the camaraderie. (OMG I spelled that right for the first time ever, I think!) I never ran. I walked all of my races. But just the buzz. I miss that sense of purpose.
And I think.
I think I'm ready to get back to the gym.
Despite the pandemic, having to wear a mask, and distance, whatever. My apartment is too tiny to exercise in when you're a chubbo-bubbo. The floor creaks. I punch the dresser or door. And I'm too easily distracted.
I'm going to focus on working out at home regularly until the end of the month, because I'm cheap and want to make sure I get things paid off before spending more money.
I will NO LONGER be in my own way.