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The record I never wanted to break.

Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Yesterday I hit an all-time high and broke a terrible record for me. I now weigh over 400lbs. It's so strange to me that I remember when I first weighed over 300lbs and thought that was impossible. I couldn't have let myself get to this point. Now I'm 100lbs heavier than that. I have to stop with the excuses. The reasons I give myself not to work, or why it's ok to binge just for tonight, or why eating junk food isn't forever. Cause its now a habit, and the excuses are just as much a habit for me as the actions.

I just can't keep living like this. I'm always tired. Most chairs are too small for me. In some cases, I have to sit sideways in order to fit in the seat. The chest hurts from exhaustion just from walking around the block. I want to be able to run with my daughter, play with her at the park. I want to be able to climb the observation towers with my family that we do every year. Something I sit out for years now cause I know I can't make it to the top. I want to live long enough to know my grandchildren someday and maybe even meet my great-grandbabies. At this rate, I won't.

My whole family worries about me. My sister, my dad, my husband, even my daughter has expressed concern for how big I'm getting and she's only 8. I know it is long past time to make a change. I have been trying for years, but this time is going to be different. Because it HAS to be.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You're here, making the first step and that's great! If you need help firming up your plan you should do the free premium trial which has short daily videos with helpful tips and challenges.
    301 days ago
    Your blog says it all....you are ready to start losing weight. It sounds like your family will support you in this and certainly Spark members will as well. I found that setting small goals seemed so much more attainable. I was always overwhelmed when I looked at the big picture. Just remember that you can do this!
    301 days ago
  • no profile photo QUEENSCHICK
    Perhaps you need professional help? Maybe a therapist. Being 400 plus pounds is not normal...I'm sorry..but maybe there is an underlying emotional issue that is actually fueling your weight gain
    301 days ago
  • EISSA7
    Your blog is very honest ... make copies and tape where you can readily view them as reminders of your WHY! Choose a plan, set a short term goal or two, and get going! The only person holding you back is you!
    You will find a way if it is important to you....good luck! emoticon
    301 days ago
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