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trying to break my fall

Monday, August 10, 2020

It is time to get back to myself. To my plan. To my life.
I have allowed this covid situation give me a pass, only justifiable in my mind....
Now it is time to stop, and start again.
Last night I used a 10 dollar amazon gift card to order a new pair of running shoes.
My NB shoes are still in very good condition, but a few months ago, I stepped out of my car in the Walmart parking lot, and stepped right into a wad of rubber cement they use to fill in cracks on the pavement.
I guess it was fresh or the day was hot enough to loosen it, because I got it all over my shoe....didnt realize what it was at first and thought I had stepped in gum....so I turn to look and step in it again.
I used spray gunk remover, the stuff you use to clean your grills...to loosen it, but it also loosened my tread.
So, the shoes still work, but in wet weather I do have some slipping....so, I got another pair, almost identical to use this fall and winter.
And I do plan to use them.
I have to not only for my health, physically but mentally and emotionally as well.
The last few weeks I have felt myself slipping into a blue mood. I feel depression is slowly working into my psyche and I dont want to let it get so bad.
I need something in my life right now.
And I find myself allowing bad habits to creep in...maybe to fulfill this void I am feeling.
So it is time to nip this and get to work on healthier habits.
Positive and uplifting only.
And time to get back to work. Since last November I have probably filled out 35 job apps and have had 3 calls.
It is a limited job search in my area.
But I have to do something....to stay busy and keep my mind occupied.
I am slowly slipping into a bad place but I am fighting it and holding on.
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