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Summer and jokes

Monday, June 29, 2020

June 21st is the first day of summer. What do you like and/or dislike about summer?
The one things I hate about summer is the stupid bugs and insects and flies.
I love summer is my favorite season. My birthday is in Summer. I like to swim outside in summer.
I love the weather in summer. I love the summer fruit and veggie such as . melons and corn,
I love the fireworks in summer. I love the fact that it stays lighter longer.
Do you have a bucket list for summer? I did What is on your summer bucket list? Fireworks was on my
bucket list but the virus cancel all fireworks in the area, /I turn 60 on July 12. I was planing a family picnic
birthday party in the park. But that got cancel because of the virus. But we reschedule for July 11 next year . So my 60th birthday party will be on the last day of my 60th year. l How do you spend time outdoors? I like to walk outside in the summer . I also love to swim outside. I love to picnic, I love to run through the
sprinkler with my great niece.
Jokes
Nobel Prize

Herolal is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway, when he spots Bhola standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Bhola is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
Herolal gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Bhola and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?"
Bhola replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks Herolal, puzzled.
"Well I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are out standing in their field."


Train Tickets
Three engineers and three accountants were traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each bought tickets and watched as the three engineers bought only one ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an accountant."Watch and you'll see", answered an engineer.

They all boarded the train. The accountants took their respective seats, but the three engineers all crammed into a rest room and closed the door behind them. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting tickets. He knocked on the restroom door and said, "Ticket, please". The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on. The accountants saw this and agreed it was a quite clever idea.

So, after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they got to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers didn't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to ride without a ticket"? said one perplexed accountant."Watch and you'll see", answered an engineer. When they boarded the train, the three accountants crammed into a restroom and the three engineers crammed into another one nearby. The train departed. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers left his restroom and walked over to the restroom where the accountants were hiding.

He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please".

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A old snake goes to see his Doctor.
"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days." The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.
Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"


A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.
"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
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