jokes and COVID-19
Thursday, May 21, 2020
The last month or two has been stressful for so many with COVID-19 forcing all of us to stay at home. How has the COVID-19 pandemic changed your life?
I don't know if you call me a lucky one or a unlucky one. I work in a grocery store as a dishwasher. So I am a essential worker. So I got to keep my job . But that mean I am out in the public three days a week . It a little scary. The other 4 days I
take care of my 94 years old mom . I also help with my great niece
Natalie and my great nephew Elijah, . Elijah have Cerebral palsy cause by his father shaking him. So I am real concern I don't want to bring any illness home with me. What have you learned from the COVID-19 pandemic? I learn that most
American are very nice and will help other most of the time. But I also learn that
there are some who won't think of other and follow the rules.
Careful when you wish
Two men died and went to Heaven. St. Peter greeted them, and said "I'm sorry, gentlemen, but your mansions aren't ready yet. Until they are, I can send you back to Earth as whatever you want to be."
"Great!" said the first guy, "I want to be an eagle soaring above beautiful scenery!"
"No problem," replied St. Peter, and POOF! The guy was gone. "And what do you want to be," St. Peter asked the other guy.
"I'd like to be one cool stud!" was the reply.
"Easy," replied St. Peter, and the other guy was gone.
After a few months, their mansions were finished, and St. Peter sent an angel to fetch them back. "You'll find them easily," he says, "One of them is soaring above the Grand Canyon, and the other one is on a snow tire somewhere in Detroit!"
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss," says Smith "I knew I could count on you!"
Some jokes I hope you like
Willpower is the ability to resist temptation until you can be sure that no-one's looking...
Who says I've got no will power - I'll get that pecan pie if it's the last thing I do.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
Dieter's Law: food that tastes the best has the highest number of calories.
About the only time losing is more fun than winning...is when you're fighting temptation.
If it wasn't for wrestling with my conscience...I'd get no exercise at all.
I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years... just getting over the hill.