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jokes and National Women's Health Week

Thursday, May 14, 2020

National Women's Health Week is May 10-16th. First, let me explain my new pic. It actually was taken about 5 year sago. I am using it now as a motivator.. It remind me of where I want to be. . Where are you on your health journey?
I lost 40 ponds about 6 years old. Then I gain about 25 back. So you could
say I on the middle of my healthy journey. But I have learn some good habit
since the beginning. I know water is important, I know to watch the sodium.
I know to exercise at least 10 min a day. My health gotten better. I was pre diabetic
and now I am not. I no loner need iron pills. I am where I wnt to be but I much better than I was.

jokes
The hand that rocks the cradle usually is attached to someone who isn't getting enough sleep."-John Fiebig

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. -Beverly Jones

"I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids." -Unknown

The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do over again. "Yes," she replied. "But not the same ones." -David Finkelstein

A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday school presentation. His mother was in the front row to prompt him. She gestured and formed the words silently with her lips, but it did not help. Her son's memory was blank. Finally, she leaned forward and whispered the cue, "I am the light of the world." The child beamed and with great feeling and a loud clear voice said, "My mother is the light of the world."

A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does. The next day in a written test, she included this question: "My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I pick up things. What am I?" When the test papers were turned in, the teacher was astonished to find that almost 50 percent of the students answered the question with the word Mother .

Drunk Walking
A drunk leaves the bar to go home. He has to walk through the cemetery on his way home. He's walking along and falls into an open grave.
"Help, Help! Get me out of here!" he screams.
A drunk friend of his is walking home and he too has to pass through the cemetary. As he is walking along, he hears,
"Help, Help! Get me out of here!"
"Who said that?" says the 2nd drunk, looking around. "Who said that?"
The 1st drunk says, "Help, Help, Get me out of here. I'm freezing to death!"
The 2nd drunk looks down and says, "Well, No wonder. They forgot to cover you up."
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