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jokes and April review and May goals

Thursday, May 07, 2020

April goals
.1. drink 6 glasses of water everyday - did terrible at this
2. keep up my exercise streak now on day 1,003 I am now at 1,064 days
3. -try to eat 3 different freggie a day-and at least one being a veggie - did bad at thia
4 lose weight I now weight 167..4
I lose some weight
5.no eating in the middle of the night- doing great on this
6. really take this healthy journey seriously- need to do this
7. no eating in bed -
8. connect with my teams- did good on this

May goals :
1. lose weight I now weigh 167.4
2. drink at least 6 cups of water a day
3. keep up my exercise streak now on day 1,064
4. keep up with my team
5. really take this healthy journey seriously
6. 3 freggies , one being a veggie
7. don't eat in bed
8. get caught up in my bible reading

jokes

EVER WONDER Why??

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Why doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing
liquid is made with real lemons?

Why the man Who invests all your money is called a broker?

Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why they don't make the Whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

ELDERLY COUPLE AND THE FOOD ORDER
This elderly couple is sitting on a park bench if from of a large pond. Across the other side of the pond are vendors sell all types of food stuff. The wife turns to hubby and say, "I could really go for an ice cream cone."
Hubby replies, "Well, I'll go get you one."
Wife says, "But, you'll forget, you better write it down."
Hubby replies, "No I won't; what do you want?"
Wife says, "Get me a Strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles."
Hubby replies, "Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. See, I'll remember.
Several hours pass and, finally, the hubby returns.
The wife asks him, "What took you so long, did you get lost."
The hubby replies, "No, and I got what you wanted."
The wife opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries?!
Wife says, "I knew you should have written the order down."
Hubby says, "What do you mean - every thing is there?"
• To which the wife replies, "No, it's not...look, you forgot the pickles!"




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