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Tentatively Hopeful

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Thursday, March 19, 2020

Long time no blog.

I hope all of you are doing well and staying healthy amid these crazy times with COVID-19.

As for me, I was actually in the hospital twice last week. It started Monday night when I thought I pulled a muscle in my right lower back. I woke up Tuesday morning and the pain was so much worse. There was a random sharp, stabbing pain that would come and go randomly, and I was doubled over crying. I was sure it was a kidney stone and headed to the Emergency Room. They took a urine sample as well as a blood sample and I waited for my other tests.

There was no blood or protein in my urine, and no real symptoms to suggest kidney stones other than the extreme pain. They did an ultrasound of my back and side area but couldn't find any evidence of stones. So they sent me home and told me to drink water and come back if the pain got worse.

I tried to lay low during the week and kept my fluids up, using ice and heat packs but the back was still giving me major issues, especially when I took deep breaths, sneezed, coughed or laughed. Until finally on Saturday, the pain in my back was still there but also spread to my right shoulder. It was getting pretty unbearable so I went back in Saturday afternoon. They ran a whole bunch more blood tests, did a chest x-ray, which was inconclusive and then finally a catscan which concluded that I had fluid in my lower right lung which was causing all the pain, and I most likely have pneumonia. I was never tested for COVID-19 because I didn't have a fever at any point.

So I know what you're thinking, what am I hopeful about?

Well, if there's any medical professionals reading, you're probably wondering why a catscan wasn't the first procedure done on Tuesday to rule out kidney stones. Well, the reason is, I'm pregnant.

Catscans are sort of a last resort on pregnant women, but my pain was bad enough on Saturday that the doctors decided it was necessary.

So the real meaning of my blog's title? Well on Tuesday, my HCG level which is the pregnancy hormone they measure in your blood was at 932. On Saturday, it was only 1510. Usually HCG levels should double every 48-72 hours, but mine didn't even double in like 100. So the ER doctors on Saturday were questioning whether the pregnancy would be successful.

So I had a follow up with my OB on Monday, and had more blood drawn. During both visits at the ER I had ultrasounds for the pregnancy and there wasn't a lot to see. At my OB appointment on Monday they saw a gestational sac and a yolk sac, but no fetal pole. And my blood came back and was 2030. So my HCG is still rising but it seems slow. The OB seems hopeful so I'm also trying to be, but I'm also scared to death of miscarriage. I should just be positive, but with all these things that seem not as good as they should be, my anxiety is really high.

My next ultrasound is scheduled for April 6, so I just have to wait until then. And I'm tentatively hopeful. I wanted to share this all with you because you all are such an amazing support system and I think all the positive thoughts and prayers would be amazing during these next three weeks. So thank you in advance for your support. Love you all.
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