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40 day challenge

Friday, February 07, 2020

Okay, when I was early on in my journey here, I had to reclaim my sense of worth after years being married to someone who eroded my confidence and self-appreciation with constant criticism, derision and isolation.


30 victories in 30 days.

My 40 day challenge is, I suppose, similar, because it's all about making a concerted effort to recognize ME.

I'll be turning 40 in late march, and have committed to doing one cool thing for myself each day leading up to my birthday. I had hoped to do a girl's weekend in Vegas to celebrate, but, I'm too far in debt from this divorce to go further than my front door. lol.


I'm actually not big on celebrating birthdays, it's never been a deal for me, but, I thought back to my 30th, and I was so overworked and overwhelmed and underloved and undersupported, the ONE thing I asked for was to have a lowkey party in the back yard. Grab some hot dogs and chips from Sam's and just spend one day NOT working or studying, and getting to see friends and family I was too busy to see back then.
My husband told me no. He told me I wouldn't enjoy it. :-/

SO, now that my marriage has been dissolved (though not finalized yet), this seems like a good time to remember the things that make me happy and schedule them. 'some day' never comes around, gotta put a date on things. lol.

Bearing in mind my financial and physical limitations, I have been asking friends and family for ideas for my list. I'm going to print out a calendar and start assigning dates. lol.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I've done 28 of these things. I should finish up before my 41st birthday in just a few weeks. lol.
    104 days ago
    Lol gotta admit, I’ve only checked off 19 things. When I had time, I didn’t have money, now I’ve got money but... uh, yeah. Lol.
    387 days ago
    Great idea. How have you done with this?
    387 days ago
  • SPICY23
    Thank you for sharing this idea. I challenged DH to come up with 60 things to do in the year he turned 60. He took it to heart at the beginning but after a while it petered out. It reminds me to create a short-term soft 'bucket list' of things I do only rarely because I let myself be 'too busy'. These don't have to be momentous to be meaningful, just something novel or unusual to shake up the ruts of routine and spark creativity and enjoyment. I hope you continue this idea throughout the year as you and your guys deserve that 'spark'; maybe involve them in generating ideas in the months after your special day. Good luck.

    Peace and Care
    419 days ago
    I love this idea!
    432 days ago
    I hope you enjoy your celebration! I suggest a day of new dining experiences with the kids. New food is fun, especially when it's a family affair!
    434 days ago
    Looking ahead - not behind.
    No big birthday celebrations here either.
    I like my birthdays to be quiet.
    Enjoy your pre birthday celebration and all these cool things you're planning to do.
    436 days ago
    Happy early birthday! :) Please DO celebrate!
    437 days ago
    HUGS and hope you can do something to honor your birthday!
    437 days ago
  • BJAEGER307
    I like the idea of doing things for YOU all month long. My girlfriends and I started doing that years ago. It just started out as a birthday week, but as we got older we extended to the whole month. Now my hubby has jumped on the bandwagon and we now both doing it. He chooses golf, and I can't deny he does love his game of golf.

    We do all sort of free things, from going to our local art museum, to go to restaurants for free birthday gifts. At IHOP you get your meal free, or at least here in Michigan you do. We to do lectures, go for nature walks, just get together on someone's deck or backyard and laugh our heads off. We go girl shopping and buy absolutely nothing or blow our budget. We binge on "girly" movies and such. We just make sure we get together. We check our community and really look for free things to do. You'd be surprised as to what your community offers if you just look.

    Best of all is just being happy to have made it another year no matter what has happened. I'm hoping you make this a special month for yourself, because you DESERVE it. Just remember that.
    437 days ago
    I have so been there! I think I am your mother's age. Anyhow, for my 30th I had an intense stomach virus. My brother was a NYC EMT and wanted me hospitalized. 40th I was with an insecure abuser who accused me of flirting with the wait staff. 50 with current husband was pleasant. 60 with current husband, drunk. We stayed with a friend who left and I had cold pizza! I worked with a man (my favorite boss, ever) and he said birthdays had to be celebrated, they were an accomplishment and a monthlong one was adequate.
    Aside from the ex, 40 was good! Embrace and enjoy
    437 days ago
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