Good morning.. got a double dose of #beastmode yesterday.. started and ended the day with a #cko #kickboxing class. Every so often they do an evening class called no shower happy hour, you box in the dark except for the strobe lights and glow in the dark body paint, you work out then go the local establishment for food and drinks, it supposed to be a bonding experience, get to know your gym mates, make new friends,.
Last night, my brother and I just did the workout and went home. I said "supposed to be" because we've gone a few times and it is the same cliques that gather together and pretty much ignore anyone else. There is a back section of the place we go that is sort of separate from the rest of the bar/restaurant pretty much everyone is still in their workout clothes, we're sitting there a group walks in, we smile and say hi, they look at us and keep walking. I literally busted out laughing and said little girls... you have no idea..
I'm not trying to bash the cko, last thing I would do because it is my saving grace, if not for this place I would still be looking you in the eye and screaming I HATE EXERCISE and I think it is great they are trying to build relationships.. but insecurity exists everywhere and the whole mean girl routine is the perfect example of those who can't stand on their own and feel good about themselves unless it is at the expense of others, even when they absolutely should feel confident about themselves.
One time I let a mean girl get under my skin, I was in the 8th grade, she was a 9th grader.. she made fun of me at the bus stop in front of everyone because I had dry scalp or dandruff.. I was embarrassed and even thought I wanted to crawl under a rock, I came back with some awkward retort, I'm not one to sit there in silence.. (and I know dandruff.. in the scheme of things, but when a 9th grader makes fun of you ).. anyway, I examined her in my mind, I knew things about her and her family and I used that information to chip away at her "superiority" she held over me.. the truth of the matter is I'd take the little bit of dandruff (easily correctable with a little head and shoulders) over her own demons. So when she tried it again, head held high, I just shrugged and walked away and didn't give her the power to make me feel like less than... the problem corrected itself on all levels.
But I digress, I wasn't even going to mention it the whole happy hour part, but it is the truth of the matter, I shoot from the hip and am honest in my thoughts, except for when certain details are not mine to reveal, I am an open book and this is the reality.. My brother and sister were not going to the after gathering and it's not about showing up alone, I will walk into any room, but sometimes left alone to my devices, and the fact that during class we were barely acknowledged, if snubbed, and feeling ornery there's a chance I'd might have been snarky and I'm head and shoulders above that at my age, besides, a hallmark movie from my couch seemed like a much better end to the evening. And I really didn't want to have to use up points on vodka - saving those for tonight at bowling! 🙊🙉🙈
Off to rake leaves this morning with the youth group, every November our community service project is to rake leaves for some of the home bound parishioners. We have 4 houses, 3 adults and 3 kids for sure, I have no idea how many kids are coming rsvp and teens don't go hand in hand.. anyway..
Have a fantastic day! Do something nice for someone else, do something nice for yourself and remember you too are head and shoulders above those feelings of self doubt and not worthy!