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What was I thinking

Wednesday, November 06, 2019

Eat, eat more, keep eating and who cares that you aren't even hungry? Lots of leftover Halloween candy didn't help. Having issues with older son isn't helping as right now we no longer seem to be speaking. I am up about 15 pounds in a little over a week. Boy, does it come on fast but I know it will be as hard or harder to take off this time as it was to begin with. It is kind of like what Indygirl says about a flat tire but I just went around and flattened the other three and why? If I only knew why then maybe I'd have a chance of changing. One big question to myself is do I really want to change and I don't think I do but I also don't want to go back to where I was. I do want to get my weight down to about 175 or whatever will get me into about a size 14. I am still so far away from either of those goals. But another good question that I can't really answer is why are those goals I have...so many whys, so very many???
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am so sorry that you are having a rough time. Yes the scale may be up but think about all that you have accomplished. You are amazing at working out and you are a great mother. I know it must be hard that your son is speaking to you but you are terrific and don't forget it. Look at the transformation in the pictures. Know that lots of people are thinking of you!
    34 days ago
  • SHAKTI816
    Forgive it all and focus on TODAY and today only. Get a few good days going and build up the momentum. You can do it!! You know how to and you've done it before. I believe most of the hard work needs to happen mentally and emotionally. I ask myself those same questions all the time. I think the keys are consistency and balance. You'll find the right balance for you and then those small good habits over time will create more health and happiness in your life.
    35 days ago
    Some times it is nit even one day at a time... it is hour by hour. Just do the best you can and try again.
    36 days ago
  • SPICY23
    emoticon and compassion.

    Heartache is complex. If you didn't care you would hurt; you also wouldn't risk speaking up (to your son). The pain you are feeling is the sense of helplessness (with the son issue). Feeling helpless or ineffective brings many of us down. What we do about it though, is a choice. So maybe ask yourself (when calm) what do you choose? How do you choose to respond (rather than react)? Once you have made this decision check in with yourself: how does it feel?

    An alternate approach: one doesn't have to know why to make a change. For example, go for a walk (out of the house, away from food). After a few minutes deliberately think about your son and the problem you are having communicating with him. If you feel agitated, pick up the pace. Keep stomping along until you have an idea to try or you find some peace from acceptance that you can't change the situation.

    Wishing you strength and resolution.

    Peace and Care
    36 days ago
    A slip begins because we feel bad about something and we aren’t comfortable feeling bad. A slip becomes a binge when the first eating choice didn’t give us the comfort we were looking for. Then we keep trying other food items hoping to still find that comfort. Binges gain momentum when we are afraid we won’t find comfort.

    You have been under lots of stress lately. Your DS was away from home and now he is home because he has health issues. While you are happy he is at home he is also making your life more difficult. Something has happened that is keeping you from speaking with one another. All of that was just waiting to boil over.

    It’s not about what you ate. It’s about how you feel. Give yourself a hug and mean it. Go and tell your son that not talking is just too painful. Tell him you love him. Listen. Make peace.

    Hope you feel better.
    36 days ago
  • PIZZA5152
    Stay focused on your goals, keep tracking You can do this
    36 days ago
    Stress . . . . the Mother of all buggers when it comes to health in general. **SIGH** Sorry you're having a hard time w/your older son. Not easy. Hugs and try to be gentle w/yourself. NOT easy.
    36 days ago
  • RAVEN145
    Don't be so hard on yourself, pull up those workout pants,it's a great day to start over move on girl you got this,if you didn't care you wouldn't still be here,sending you best wishes.
    36 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    36 days ago
    So much stress. No wonder you slipped. You can get back on track, though. And young adults can be a handful. You'll work it out. emoticon
    36 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    36 days ago
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