The black hole tried to suck me back in!
Monday, October 28, 2019
I post triumphantly over a very stressful experience I had with my family this weekend. I love my father, but let's refer to him as a life sucking black hole. My mother passed away in 2013. He was not a good husband, and leave the rest for a Dr. Phil show.
Others that have read my past blogs, know that I've had boundary issues with feeling pulled for a sense of duty to my dad, his home and the stress it brings me.
I received a phone call yesterday from my sister. My Dad texted and said he met a woman online and she was moving in with him to care for him because "none of us have time for him anymore". I instantly knew it was a catfish situation as I manage my dad's account and he has been spending money and pulling cash like mad for the month. Anytime I asked him, he would say he had unexpected expenses or the last excuse aka lie was that he lost money. Well he lost money all right. Not much, he is on a very fixed income and has no access to his savings for this very reason thank goodness as I've put safeguards in place to avoid this kind of noise!
Well the catfish was posing as a young 28 or something woman. We used google image search and found it was an image from a porn site for a famous porn star. Oh lovely! Happy Day!
In that moment I wanted to immediately go to McDonald's and EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT!! All of us sisters figured out what happened to then put the pieces back together again. It is an ugly situation for sure. My sister called him, told him the news, and I'm going to put even more controls on his finances so they don't get anything else out of him.
Anyway, after calming one of my sisters down as she was so distraught, I again CRAVED food and said NO!! THAT WILL NOT CHANGE ANYTHING HERE! Told her I loved her and then promptly headed upstairs to ride my exercise bike until I had an attitude adjustment. I also listened to my Pastor's message which was incredibly timely on Perseverance and then continued riding until the next radio message regarding, "Your Father in Heaven is always faithful even when your own father isn't." Wow if that isn't divine intervention, I don't know what is.
Anyway, I rode for an hour, did some weights as well and came back downstairs with a new perspective. I haven't talked to my dad as I only feel I can YELL and at this point feel like, what is the point of that.
I was soooo proud of myself and have a great 1.2 pound loss this morning to show for it. YAY ME!
Love my dad but will not allow his drama to suck me in. It's time for me, he had an amazing woman, didn't cherish her and now she is gone, end of story. I cannot be the person that moves him from his state of regret, that's on him.
Thanks all, keep sparking!