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Trying to not let fear strangle me

Tuesday, October 01, 2019

I met with my physiatrist today about my MRI and discussed the cyst on my spine. The good news is that it is NOT cancer. However, it may be tricky to treat given its location.

He thought he would be able to drain some of the fluid and inject steroid to try and calm the swelling down around it. But he said with the location it would be tricky to get the needle to the cyst and drain anything significant out. He said the steroid might cause it to shrink some but wasn't sure it was the best option. He said the steroids would only ease pain. But right now my main issues are muscle weakness in my legs caused by the compression on the nerves. He doesn't think the steroids would do much for that. So further tests are needed.

I have an EMG and Nerve Conduction Study at the end of the month. He said that will show if there is damage to the nerves and give a better report on the just how compromised the nerves are.

I also need to meet with the surgeons to discuss my case. My doctor isn't a surgeon so he wants them to review my tests and symptoms to see if surgery is the best treatment option now or if they want to try and drain the cyst first.

Surgery is scary to me....because of not knowing how much time I will miss from work. My husband is on disability so I am the "bread winner". I normally work my f/t legal assistant job and drive p/t for Uber & Lyft. We rely on the $500-600 additional income from my second jobs. I haven't been haven't been able to work them since June as it is. Have had to rely on credit cards - which isn't ideal.

I need to focus on my daily health and metal well-being and not dwell on the unknowns. Easier said than done as I have always been a worrier. I did a lot of crying this morning. But I need to keep pushing forward.

I will be praying that my symptoms do not get any worse than they are. It was just 4 months ago (June) that I was fine - no walking issues, no nerve pain, no real mobility issues. Since my first MRI on 9/1 I have had more issues with bladder incontinence. Used to be only when I had a sneezing fit that there was a little leakage, but now it is a lot more and I cannot hold it like I used to...so a lot more pit stops.

I am preparing for Uber'ing during Oktoberfest that is the next 3 weekend in Leavenworth (about 20 min drive). This has typically been a huge money maker ($300 for a weekend), but I will need to pace myself better and plan out the pit stops accordingly. But I am going to push to do the best that I can.

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    587 days ago
    587 days ago
    I hope that you will find a solution to all your pain and physical problems. Sounds like you have a full plate! Best wishes - Heather
    587 days ago
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