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jokes and Fall

Monday, September 23, 2019

The Autumn Equinox is September 23rd and signals the beginning of Fall. Does it feel like fall is in the air where you live right now? Actually, we been having a little bit of summer weather and a little bit of fall. Are you looking forward to fall weather, food or activities? I like the early part of Fall weather when it in the 70's but when it closer to the end and it start snowing I am not a fan, How does your fitness or eating change during this season? I can walk outside more in the Fall. I eat more apple, Cauliflower,
Cranberries, and Sweet potatoes. Fall have two of my favorite celebration
Halloween, and Thanksgiving,
Things I like about Autumn
1. apple cider spike or not spike
2. pumpkin craving
3. Fall foliage tours
4. the changing of the leaves colors.
5. football season
6. baseball post season
Niagraa Falls Tour Guide
A group of tourists visit the Niagara Falls and are accompanied by a guide.
The guide says "I welcome you all to the Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high that the sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard!"
"Now, may I request that the ladies in the back keep quiet so that we can hear the falls!

A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement.
He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife, 'Mother of Six', in spite of her objections.
One night they went to a party. He decided that it was time to go home, and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouted at the top of his voice,” Shall we go home, Mother of Six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouted back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four

How To Grow Strawberries
Farmer Evans was driving his John Deere tractor along the road with a trailer load of fertilizer. Tim a little boy of eight was playing in his yard when he saw the farmer and asked, 'What've you got in your trailer?'
'Manure,' Farmer Evans replied.
'What are you going to do with it?' asked Tim.
'Put it on my strawberries,' answered the farmer.
Tim replied, 'You ought to come and eat with us, we put ice-cream on our strawberries

Arresting Time
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
'But officer, 'the man began, 'I can explain.'
'Quiet!' snapped the officer.' I'm going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back.'
'But, officer, I just wanted to say, '
'And I said be quiet! you're going to jail!'
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, 'Lucky for you, the chief's at his daughter's wedding. he'll be in a good mood when he gets back.'
'Don't count on it, 'answered the guy in the cell.' I'm the groom.'

Lecture Tour With A Difference
After an evening out, Roger was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his car parked and walked home. As he was staggering along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at three o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.
'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.
'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time of night?' enquired the constable sarcastically.
'My wife,' slurred Roger grimly.
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