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Glad to be back in the swing of things...

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

My word, but what a month and a half it's been...and it's not over yet!

Let's see...where to start...Dad passed the middle of June. He started declining after we visited Momma's grave site on Memorial weekend. A week later he was in the hospital, was home five days and passed Sat the 15th.

Things progressed accordingly and then we started in on clearing out the house. Momma passed in 2017 but we didn't do much with stuff except to donate her clothing; we didn't want to upset Dad. We knew it was going to be a chore because they had been at this location or 45 years and married 65 years and four months! Lots of time to accumulate a LOT of stuff! We just weren't prepared for how much stuff! Lord have mercy!! Who would have thought there were this many nooks and crannies to put thing into...good grief!! LOL!! All I know is I am going to be sorting through my own stuff and chucking things I do not need or want!

It took us roughly six weeks to get through most of it. The responsibility of this landed mostly on one of my sisters and me and many times just on me because my sister just quit doing stuff...overwhelmed I guess. Our brother came back and forth to help out a couple of times; he lives out of state, only he really didn't help much except provide emotional support. I think he was overwhelmed with the whole thing as well; there was so much to go through...and by that time the house was a hoarder's dream! We had paths to walk through and that's about all. It was very wearing on all of us physically as well as emotionally. Everyone (there are five of us kids) came back the early part of Aug to go through stuff, take what they wanted, etc. Little "new" boxing occurred, of course, as the focus was on finding treasures.

The day finally came when the auction people were supposed to pick up the stuff. We thought we were ready as we were under the impression the fellas coming would also help box stuff up, too. Wrong! It all had to be boxed so they could just grab and pack, so it was back to the drawing board. Our brother was a little put out that we weren't ready. He's the executor and wants to get this stuff wrapped up asap. I understand that, but it does take time...especially when there are only two people doing the work...it's an old two story home with a full basement. We hadn't even had time to go through the basement or the garage by then. We decided on three more weeks. Ugh! It was a real blow (I cried) cuz we so wanted the clutter to be GONE, but that wasn't the case...to say we were disappointed would be a massive understatement!!

My sister and I went to Idaho as scheduled...she to visit some of her husband's family; me to go camping with my friends! Well...what do they say about plans? The first night I'm camping I misstep coming out of the motorhome and wrench my knee. It hurt like the devil and I really couldn't do much. Was able to get in the boat with help. The second night I would have gone to the urgent care if I knew where it was! Felt like I had a baseball behind my left knee and after I'd sit for a while, I could hardly walk when I'd get up. Finally went to the urgent care when we got back to civilization. They put me in a brace and told me to see my doctor if it didn't get better. My doc put me on prednisone which helped a lot and I got an MRI. The ortho doc said my meniscus was torn in two places along with other issues and gave me a steroid injection. That's worn off already. I'm just supposed to see how things go, continue my exercise plan and let him know if problems arise. He's not sure I have enough cartilage in my knee to warrant surgery...might need a replacement....great! I'm just glad I'm able to exercise. I feel aching but that's to be expected I guess. The only good part to this is I purchased "personal accident insurance" (PAI) when I rented my car. Hopefully, they will cover my bills...up to $20,000 I believe. Better some than none!

The Friday after we got home we expected movers to come and get the piano and our grandmother's buffet and ship it to our sister in NH. These people were supposed to be qualified to move pianos...it was an 1890s upright...heavy as hell...my sister told them...guess how many guys arrived to get their stuff (the furniture along with several boxes)? ONE!! Guess the guy who was supposed to help had an emergency of some kind. They were supposed to send help. One guy smaller than me showed up and then left! Then they were going to get some equipment to help move it...that never materialized. Then there was concerns about a money order vs. cash...I'm like I'm not giving you cash, sorry!! The guy then tries to move the buffet (with mirror) down the stairs by himself. I'm like you can't do that!!! I helped. My brother, who just happened to be coming to town, and the neighbor ended up helping the guy get it on the truck! What a fiasco. The worst part is my sister has yet to get her stuff. They collected it on the 23rd of Aug. No one is answering phones or they are playing phone tag with the major moving company they used (obviously they subcontracted with the guy who came out)...I told her to file a police report for stolen property...file a complaint with the BBB...and call their TV station and talk to someone who does their help line to see if she can't get her stuff...it's pathetic!

Having a bum knee doesn't help much when it comes to moving and hauling things. I wear my brace. So far, so good. Add to that the fact my sister has seemed to have lost all of her zeal to continue working on the house and it's made for a more stressful time. I try not to say anything but it is real annoying when I'm busting my hump to get things done and all she does is nap, watch tv, or play games on her phone! Then later she starts having symptoms that to me reflect cardiac issues...lightheadedness, fatigue, etc...then later admits to fluttering of her heart, and even later chest pain. I've encouraged her to get seen, but she hasn't yet...even though she said she was going to go home to see her doc...when I heard that, I knew things weren't right. I've encouraged her to get seen here. So far she's done nothing...just gets pissy with my when I ask if she's made any appointment, called her insurance to see if she's covered here, etc. So, I'm done. I reminded her it's better to get seen vs. having to deal with the effects of a stroke or MI. I really don't want to find her dead, but I can't make the horse drink water! She's as bad as our dad!!

So...as the new collection date approached (Sept 16), our brother came out the Wed before to help out. We were a lot more productive. It helped to have the gondola for trash too. Then the auction guy called on Friday asking if we couldn't be ready by Sat afternoon instead of Monday. I'm like what?! I left it to our brother to decide...they were to come the next day at 1pm. The basement still had to be finished and we hadn't even gotten to the garage yet. That night I woke up at 230 am and couldn't go back to sleep. So I got up did laundry and dishes, tried to box more stuff up in the basement and eventually went out to the garage and started boxing stuff there. Got two of the three long shelves above the workbench cleaned off...it was a start! I took a short nap in the morning and then my brother and I got back to it in the garage. My sister eventually came out and helped. We finished up about a quarter to 1p...whew!!

We were eating lunch when the guys came to pick up the stuff. They were here for about four hours, but left before they got to the garage. They are supposed to call and schedule a time to get that stuff. I figure I will have to call them myself. I'll wait till tomorrow.

Unfortunately, they left about half of the stuff we boxed...said it wouldn't sell well. So, Monday I called the Salvation Army and they came and picked up pretty much everything that was left. We will call them again once they get the stuff out of the garage...now we have to get our own stuff batched up so we can move it out. What a relief it is to get Phase II done (Phase I being the sorting and boxing)! LOL!!

I'd really like to take a couple of days off, but I need to get my stuff sorted and boxed so I can get moved back down to MO and get back to work! Still have to find a job and lodging...until I do, I will stay with my sister!! Can't get one without the other...that is going to be a feat in and of itself. I really don't have to worry till the beginning of November...my insurance runs out he end of that month...don't want to be without if I can help it. Time will tell...

My nephew has volunteered to come help us move. He and some of his buddies...only I haven't been able to get him to commit to a date yet...and he's like my sister...the more you push, the more he resists. If necessary, I will hire some guys to move my stuff into storage and then hire them again to pack the u-haul for when the guys CAN help. (My sister will have to rent a unit as well, because I do not have room for all of her stuff and mine too!) I'd rather do it once, but will do what I need to do. We still need to have the fridge in the kitchen chucked into the dumpster and the one in the basement brought up. Once all of this is done, we will have a cleaning agency come in and maybe painters...Mom smoked so the walls are covered with nicotine...you can see shadows of where things were...even the buffet! It's crazy!

The good part is we are making progress! I cling to that...LOL!! Hope everyone has been doing well! TTYL! I have boxes to pack!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MORTICIAADDAMS
    Sounds like quite a nightmare. I wish everyone had chipped in and helped you more. Especially with your knee. At least there is some light at the end of the tunnel!
    686 days ago
  • DAD_AINT_HIP
    Sorry for your loss! And dealing with the property afterward can be such a headache. Glad to hear you're making progress. Good luck!
    686 days ago
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